Saturday, September 19, 2009

Periodic Chart: It's ELEMENTary

"Titan, I guess I just ran out of butane" apologized the Bunsen Burner man - George 'Chemist' Hauss. 'Chemist' had paired with the 'loathsome loudmouth' in TT's third and fourth sets and was unable to lift the 'garrulous giant' to his fourth victory of the day. Indeed, the Master of the Slice/Sidespin/Backspin serve had an eratic day on the Kinsley concrete. The wind appeared to play havoc with the 'Chemist's serve and return calculations more than any of the other contestants. Titan had carried the load in their (6-1) crushing of Bob 'Kraut' Kluge and Lou 'Pistol' Gerencser in the penultimate set of the morning. The 'pedantic prevaricator'/'Chemist' fell in the finale (4-6) to the tandem of 'Kraut'/Joe 'Gimpy Knees' Cruz primarily because Bunsen Burner flamed out. TennisTitan had opened the day as 'Kraut's partner and could do no wrong. TT contributed mightily in their two set blitzkrieg of George 'Teacher' Febles/Mike 'not so stellar' Stella (6-0) which preceded the (6-2) scorching of 'Chemist'/'Pistol.' As the teams met at net to bid farewell Titan was perplexed that the seemingly remorseful 'Chemist' referred to the 'bloated behemoth' as the "Xenon of Argon" after his self-effacing butane remark. 'Pistol,' with his degree in pharmacology, fired his only ace of the day, when he enlightened the gaped-mouth 'bitching bullshitter,' "Titan, it's clear. George recognizes you for what you are on the court: an INERT GAS-bag!"

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