Saturday, June 21, 2008

Stan and Ollie = 'Chemist' and 'HJ'

"Tennis is Easy, George... except when you are my partner."

"Have a 'W' on me Frankie"

"Here 'Slats' wear this one at the club this afternoon. I made You a Winner today!

"Ich bin ein BULLSHITTER"

"Der Klugemeister is playing his best tennis. Ergo, shouldn't he have to carry me!?"

No June Swoon

"Titan, it can't be this easy" yelled 'Happy Jack' Carey from the sidelines as he eagerly awaited the opportunity to compete against the 'bloated behemoth' as George 'Chemist' Hauss' partner in the ensuing set. 'HJ' was brought out of his chair with his telling remark as TT snapped off a cross-court volley to end the set (6-4) that he and Frank 'Slats' Slattery had captured from a determined 'Big Al' DioDati and Joe 'Gimpy Knees' Cruz. TT continued to make it look easy in his second set as the 'egotistical egomaniac' then paired with Bob 'Kraut' Kluge in thumping the tandem of 'HJ'/'Chemist' (6-1). Der Klugemeister continues to shine since his return from Chi Town as evidenced by his (6-1) victory over 'Chemist' in an early round singles contest. In early match action a pairing of 'Slats'/'Chemist' again proved too formidable as they hung on to defeat "Big Al'/'Gimpy Kness' (7-5) in today's opening doubles. As Titan trundled off to his car with HJ/Chemist v 'Kraut'/'Prosac Kid' deadlocked at 3 games a piece, 'HJ' shouted from afar, "It IS easy, Big Guy - what's difficult is to have George as my partner!"

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Somebody's Got to Pay...

"Titan, I said 'massage my hip' not "you played like shit."

The New TT: Tenacious Tandem

"The game involves running, not dozing Grandpa."

'Big Al' and the 'Kraut' opine

"Face it Titan, you were the big loser today"

"Not Even a Card"

"Perhaps, Titan, you should consider sleeping late on Saturday mornings - you seem to doze off at crucial times anyway" snickered Frank 'Slats' Slattery upon completion of play at Kinsley today. 'Slats' had done his part, along with partner George 'Chemist' Hauss, in deflating (3-6) TT's Father's Day weekend. The 'bloated behemoth' drew 'Rockin' Rick Ricci for his partner in the two sets played this day in oppressive summer conditions. 'RRR' recovering from replacement hip surgery in January cannot yet cover the court as he once had. The quickness of the 'Slats'/'Chemist' tandem is formidable. TT/'RRR' seem not to be able to power past these defenders nor win long points. TennisTitan/'RRR' also dropped the 'losers game' to Bob 'Kraut' Kluge and Big Al DioDati (4-6) that was played afterward. As the boys met at net the 'boisterous blowhard' reminded all who would hear, "Slats, my Liege 'King' Gene Slattery and Joe 'Gimpy Knees' Cruz did my bidding. I tired you out, hence they came from behind to defeat you two roadrunners (6-4) in the set that counted the most." 'Big Al'/'Gimpy Knees' had lost the opening set of the day to 'Chemist'/'Slats' (6-3).

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

'Lil Papi' Saa (Archived photo)

"Olla Gigante, let's play some singles. "

Titan Fanatic

"Titan saves me for "when he forgets his camera."

Unexpected Pleasure

"Olla, Gigante" was the greeting the 'bloated behemoth' heard as he entered Kinsley this afternoon to watch some amateur tennis. It was none other than 'Lil Papi' Saa - with racquet in hand - looking to play one set of singles. Who could say no? Not this Tennis Whore. So back to the car to fetch the spare racquet and the sun glasses (sorry no camera). 'Lil Papi' gave me all I could handle in the 40 minute set that had the 'boisterous blowhard' come out on top (6-4). Papi declined a rematch but Titan was pressed into action in the doubles match he went there to watch. Subbing for a departing Vladimir 'Russkie' Kartsev at 5-2 TT got the job done, even though it went to a tie breaker (7-6 [4]) as John 'Neck' Manzi's partner. A frustrated Bill 'Electrolux' Ching and Chris the 'Prosac Kid' invoked the words of the late Jim McKay at net as the 'egotistical ego maniac' accepted their plaudits. "Titan, twenty minutes of you on the other side of the net gave us both "the trill of victory, and the agony of defeat."

Saturday, June 07, 2008

Kinsley Krew

"Titan, this'll likely be the best shot you'll make today."

'Big Brown' with his trainer

"Here's my secret. I make my partner sweat more than my opponents... gets him in shape for singles!"

2 by 4 (as in 2-6, 4-6)

"One thing the Slattery boys can agree on today: Titan was never heavier to carry than in the 90 degree heat."

Nah, Nah, - Na, Na, Nah

"Our set was better than yours."

Pistol whipped and Smart Alec

"TT, you're lucky to have caught us early. On second thought, you're even luckier to have had 'Big Brown' at your side.

It's a Wonderful Life

"Clarence, after we won that first set I swear I heard bells coming from the sky" declared TennisTitan at the completion of the 'Gazelle'/TT (6-4) victory over Carl 'Speedy Legs' Gessman and Lou 'Pistol' Gerenscer in today's opener at Kinsley Park. Quipped Frank 'Slats' Slattery from the adjacent court, "Blowhard, that's the ice cream truck. It is you, for whom the bell tolls now that 'Chemist and I have prevailed (7-6 [4]) over Big 'Al' DioDati and Bob 'Kraut' Kluge. With that my personal 'Big Brown' abandoned moi to the singles court where he defeated 'Der Klugemeister' 3, and 4 in the oppressive heat. And 'Slats' made good on his word as he and George 'Chemist' Hauss cruised to a (2-6) thumping of TT and Gene 'King' Slattery. The team of 'Speedy Legs'/'Gimpy Knees' Cruz whipped 'Big Al'/'Pistol' (6-2) to close out the action on court two. The finale of the day, played in 93 degree temperatures, with 8 weary legs laboring had the 'King' declaring at sets end, "Titan, this angel just got his wings" as he and 'Pistol' toughed out a (4-6) triumph over the 'bloated behemoth'/ 'George Bailey' Slattery. As the exhausted crew headed to their air conditioned cars Clarence 'Gazelle' Williams chortled in his heavy Jamaican accent, "Hey, mon, there is only gonna be one 'Big Brown' who is a winner today. And he's got two legs and loves reggae!"

Thursday, June 05, 2008

'Quito Mosquito?"

'Lil Papi' hails from Quito Ecuador. I should call him the 'Quito Mosquito' because he is a pest to play against.

"The Long and Short of it."

"Don't you see how 'Lil Papi' looks up to me so adoringly. Who can ask for more in a partner"

'Electrolux' and 'Russkie'

'Titan, you winning three sets against anybody is a rarity. We are glad to have been a part of your Triple Crown.

My Triple Crown

"Titan, I don't want to wait thirty years to see you win three in a row again" laughed Bill 'Electrolux' Ching as the 'bloated behemoth' trundled off to his car. TennisTitan had again gamely left his mark on Kinsley this afternoon sweeping the three sets he participated in. The 'bulbous blowhard' paired with 'Lil Papi' Saa in the opener against 'Electrolux' and Vladimir 'Russkie' Kartsev in a competitive set (6-4) that had the dog walkers agape with the deft shot making display. Set two and three saw the 'blogging bullshitter' head to the other side of the net to pair with 'Electrolux' in two more nail biters. 'Lil Papi'/'Russkie' gave it all they had in their (7-6 [4]) loss to TT and the maven of vacuum repairmen. John the 'Neck' Manzi teamed with the Russian immigrant entrepreneur only to be broken in the 12th game (7-5) and lose a chance for another tie breaker against a tiring TennisTitan and a tantrumming Ching. As the foursome met at net Russkie opined "in the USSR the Secretariat had great power just like you do on the court, Titan." 'Neck' Manzi Affirmed Vladimir's observation with "Titan, you hit a Seattle Slew of winners today." Titan quipped as he beat an especially hasty retreat to his car, "Gotta go. I took a laxative this morning. I'm afraid I have a 'Big Brown' in my shorts now."