Saturday, June 30, 2012

Dr. Sab led the way.

"Titan wins with our oldest player."

Gero was my hero.

"I win with the youngest player too."

And With the Newest Retiree

"Even 'Slats' expects to win with me now."

The Real Challenge

"I might even win with 'Happy Jack' someday"

What about Bob?

"Let's see you win with him. He doesn't even see my hand in front of him. How can he hit any ball?"

I Brought the Broom

"Slat's, that was a clean  sweep for me" crowed the 'boisterous blowhard' after his (6-2) victory with Frank Slattery over George 'Chemist" Hauss and 'Happy Jack' Carey. This following impressive earlier victories with Sab 'Koide Kid' (6-1) and Gero the 'young phenom' (6-3). Carl the 'anonymous gas man' reminded the 'obnoxious oaf' at picture time, "Titan, you can't always cherry pick your opponents. Today the luck of the draw provided you with a hand of 'three sixes.' 'Super Geriatric Bob and 'Happy Jack' were my albatrosses today." 'Slats' quipped, "On Tuesday we're up against 'EBL'/'Tutor at the Landings in Dobbs. That's when we'll see what you do when you'll really be put to the test."

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

The Victors

"We had game.'

The Vanquished

"Just not good enough, I guess."

"Can we go now?"

"I wish I had new, hell, any balls.".

Shooting Star

"Hell, Frankie, he was a super nova tonight" a bedazzled TennisTitan offered at the conclusion of play. The 'pompous panderer' and Frank 'Slats' Slattery had just dropped the final set to George 'Chemist' Hauss and Mike 'not so stellar' Stella (3-6). The story of this evening's play was not the usual consistency of the 'Chemist,' 'Slats,' and your erstwhile reporter, but rather of the emergence of a 'Stellar Stella' performing light years beyond what he had previously displayed at Kinsley. Mike was a factor in all four corners on his side of the net. TT/'Slats' played to their capabilities, managing to capture the second set (7-5) after dropping the opener (4-6). But 'Chemist'/'Stellar' played the critical points in all three sets magnificently, whether in exchanges from the baseline, handling approach shots, or fending off lobs that might have tipped the balance to the 'bombastic blowhard' and the 'coddling counselor.' As the foursome left the court 'not so Stella' was heard to remark to a smiling 'Chemist,' Do you think Titan will refer to me as the 'amazing asteroid' in blog?" "Nah", retorted the 'Chemist,' he's more likely to refer to you as the  'careening comet,' here today, gone tomorrow."

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Four or Fore!

"I may take up golf. I so enjoy yelling "FORE!"

We Rule the Euro Cup in Soccer

"So what Titan! We're both Italian and who cares if we lose a few tennis sets to some lucky Irishmen."

Call us "Incognito."

"George was conned into playing me this last set. He helped me become a three (3) time loser to you today."

Early Dismissal

"Titan, we only lost to you once. That's makes us winners in our book."

The Parable of the Stupid

"Titan, the world was your oyster today" beamed Frank 'Slats' Slattery at the conclusion of play at Kinsley this morning. TennisTitan/'Slats' teamed for a four set sweep. Gero 'young phenom'/Carl the 'anonymous gas man' fell meekly (6-1), followed by dual drubbings to the tandem of Rich 'El Prezidente' Prezioso/'Rockin' Rick Ricci (6-2, 6-2). George 'Chemist' Hauss/'RRR' succumbed (6-3) sending the 'boastful bullshitter' home with that annoying smug grin on his face. 'Slats' asked the 'pompous prevaricator' at picture time, "Titan do you feel redeemed, coming after that abominable performance you displayed last Wednesday?" "Don't be silly, Frankie, I don't feel redeemed because my game was not resurrected from the dead. It was only in limbo." "But this was the third day since you suffered your cross of  having had 'El Prezidente' as your partner on Wednesday;" commented the 'coddling counselor.' "Slats' answered the 'bombastic blogger,' Prezie is heading out to the Hamptons this week for the summer. I wanted him to taste the bitter herb of multiple losses to me before he departs. He'll have a hell of a ride." "And 'Rockin' Rick, with his three losses to you?" queried 'Slats.' "Temporal punishment for sure" replied Titan. 

Friday, June 22, 2012

Coup d' etat

"El Prezidente must abdicate, if for no other reason, for wearing a fish net -see through shirt."

94 minutes in 94 degress

"Sorry it took so long on such a hot day"

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Blowhard gets Blown Out

"Prezie, you were God-awful. There is no other way to describe it" lamented the 'NMF' kid. It's "Never My Fault" continued his litany of lies. "Your best asset is your speed, actually it's your only asset and you must have left it in Briarcliff." 'El Prezidente' Rich Prezioso rejoined, "you should work for Obama, 'lothesome lard ass.' You put more spin on your own ineptitude than that 'incompetent incumbent' does when he says one thing and blatantly does the opposite." TT/'Prezidente' weren't competitive at Kinsley in their (2-6, 1-6) thrashing at the hands of 'Big Al' Diodati and Frank 'Slats' Slattery. After a spit of the first four games of the first set the 'dumb founded duo' managed to win only one of the next eleven games. Titan over hit with regularity and the 'maven of Briarcliff Manor' damned near framed every return off his racket. 'El Prezidente' meekly offered "at least I brought new balls, Titan." 'Slats' interjected, "Prez, better that you bring a new game on Saturday. And try getting your feet in position to hit the ball squarely."

Monday, June 18, 2012

" So, What Else is New"

"Slipped right through my fingers."

"I Had Him!"

"No He Didn't!"

"What a Great Life"

"To be 66 and act like 6"

"Don't Blame Me"

"Now I know it's going to be a long ride home with him mumbling in the front seat."

The Send Off

"Titan, do you think you might have overstayed your welcome, by 20 minutes or so" laughed the "Jersey Bomber" Rob Briscoe who rallied from a 5-4 deficit to win the second set (5-7) against the 'bombastic blowhard.' It had looked all so promising with TT capturing the opener (6-3) at Brookdale Community College. But Titan came up short and had to settle for another split of the two sets. "Seven sets in less than 54 hours is a wee too much" commented the 'aching asshole' as the boys posed for pictures. "I knew I was a goner once you got your second serve in with pace and placement" lamented the 'whining whimperer." "Titan, you were a goner as soon as Tully settled into his travel bag and decided to keep his mouth shut. And you remind me with your play, of the tolls on the turnpike you'll soon be using: E-Z Pass.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

"Whatever it takes"

"Tully's got to get some credit here. At least he'll shake my hand in victory"

"Jersey Bomber" is bummed

"I can't believe I didn't sweep both sets from that old man."

A Happy Father's Day

Playing tennis on any day would make the TennisTitan happy, getting a few sets in on Father's Day made him damn euphoric! Titan and nephew Rob 'Jersey Bomber' Briscoe hooked up for two post barbecue sets at Brookdale Community College in Monmouth County N.J. Both combatants came away somewhat satisfied by splitting the action (4-6, 6-3). The 'Jersey Bomber' lived up to his appellation demonstrating strong, if occasionally erratic, serving power. Titan's return of serve is what kept the match competitive. 'JB' swept the final three games of the opener to capture that win but stumbled badly in the second set and could not pull off another late charge. At picture time a midst the yelps from Titan's 'barking bichon' the 'Jersey Bomber' reminded TT in his best Marlon Brando voice, "Godfather, sometime I will ask a favor of you - and it will not involve tennis - but require you to muzzle that dog."

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Formidable Foes

"Titan thinks his dog is a good luck charm. We all know that I ('Slats') provide all the luck he needs when he partners with me."

They were 'just too good today.'

"Someone told me dogs only see 'black and white.' Today Tully saw a loss as well, Titan."

'Rockin' Rock's Lament

"He expects me to do it all for him on the court. I can't be everywhere you know."

"Well, Titan does do everything for me."

Return to Normalcy

Titan had a mixed bag of results this day at Kinsley. Paired with 'Slats' in the opener the tandem continued their recent good fortune with a resounding (6-3) defeat of the George 'Chemist' Hauss and Rich 'El Prezidente' Prezioso. Set two had TT pair with Rockin' Rick Ricci in a (3-6) loss to Bob 'Kraut' Kluge and Stuart 'not ESPN' Scott. 'Not ESPN' was the difference maker with a crisp backhand on target and strong net play.'TT'/'RRR' closed out the day (1-6) against Dave 'the Mellon One' Lipscomb and Chris 'Mr. Singles.' The latter pair refused to have their picture taken by Titan maintaining that 'two Black players of their stature' could get arrested in Yonkers for 'beating up a pair of old white guys in a public park." 'Not ESPN' added, "I guess today was just a Black Power Day."

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

This Could Become Habit Forming

"Slats and I don't need muskets. We use our rackets to kill the enemy."

They Needed a Third George

A Revolting Development

"George, you could have had the whole British army behind you today, and it wouldn't have made a damn bit of difference" boasted the 'bellicose bullshitter." TennisTitan and partner Frank 'Slats' Slattery has just seen the whites of the eyes of the 'Chemist,' George Hauss and the 'Teacher,' George Febles and come away with a brace of doubles victories (6-4, 6-4) at Kinsley Park this late afternoon. 'Slats' opined at picture time "maybe next week they should bring a third George, you know, Titan, George III. They need a King to reign in their errant ground strokes and misdirected volleys." Indeed, the tandem of TT/'Slats' stood tall withstanding the four games to three lead held by the Georges in both sets only to break the duo in the critical ninth games to fashion both their triumphs. "Slats, these guys are so wooden on the court against us they remind me of King George III furniture, stiff and uncomfortable, under pressure. To wit, the 'Teacher'  exclaimed, "Alright, Mr. Tighten, next week, our third George will be one George Washington. He knows how to lead an underdog to victory."

Saturday, June 09, 2012

The Misfits

Marilyn Monroe and Clarke Gable starred in a film of the same name back in 1961.

Titan offers the basics to the 'young (22) phenom.'

"No Gero, you hit the ball over the net, not throw it."

They Met Their 'Match'

'Rockin' Rick helped TT to his third win (6-3) against the tandem of Gero the 'young phenom' /'not so stellar.'

When "Rockin' Rick says "I'll Have Another....

he's usually telling Rosalie to make him another pre-dinner martini."

"I'll Have Another"

"Rock, this was my triple crown" crowed the 'cacophonous curmudgeon' at the conclusion of play at Kinsley this Saturday morning. "Maybe I'll Have Another won't be able to compete at Belmont this afternoon to capture the Triple Crown of horse racing, but this old nag grabbed three consecutive doubles victories today. Titan paired with Rich 'dozin' docent' Gerchak in the opener (6-2) against 'Happy Jack' Carey and Mike 'not so stellar' Stella. Set 2 saw the 'pusillanimous prevaricator' hook up with a newbie, Gero 'young phenom' Eaton for a (6-4) defeat of the same twosome. TennisTitan completed his trifecta sweep with "Rockin Rick Ricci at his side (6-3) as the old codgers schooled the 'young phenom'/'not so stellar. Titan's joy was more than offset at picture time by 'not so stellar's observation, "I think I've had too much here already. I am going home and have some Triple Crown too - the kind that comes in a brown bottle to forget my 3 losses to the 'boisterous blowhard."

Wednesday, June 06, 2012

A Couple of Loud Mouths

"At least Tully doesn't complain when 'I'm dogging it' on the court."

"Who's More Annoying" asked 'Slats"

"Some players have a 'cheering section,' TT brought his 'barking' fan club."


"We were born before D-Day. You and 'Slats' are baby boomers without any boom on the court."

D-Day Remembered

"Titan, have you got a thing for Al Pacino?" queried George 'Chemist' Hauss at the conclusion of play at Kinsley. Titan had put a game together that also involved stalwarts George 'Teacher' Febles and Frank 'Slats' Slattery to celebrate his recent return to Yonkers after a month long stint in Florida, sans tennis. The late afternoon match did not start well for the twosome of TT/'Slats' who were riddled by the invigorated serve of the 'Chemist' and the timely lobs of the 'Teacher,' ever exposing Titan's leaden feet in the (2-6) opening set loss. 'Slats' laid into the 'bloated behemoth' at the start of the second set promising  to keep Titan on a short leash away from the net, and to clean up the mess he was making at the baseline. "Don't tell me you're pooped. I can see you're playing like shit" excoriated 'Slats.' "But Frankie, the 'Chemist' intimidates me now that he plays USTA. He even wins singles against shlubs like us." "You're USTA too, Titan" reminded the 'Teacher.' An Utterly, Stupid, Talkative Asshole whose only worth is organizing games for the guys. "Hey George, you better check the blog tomorrow. "Titan did his part in our (6-2, 6-4) victories in sets two and three" countered the 'coddling counselor.' "Dog shit,  er, Bull shit, it was that Tully who never stopped yapping on the sideline who carried the day for them" interjected the 'Teacher.' "Chemist,' I said that we'd play on Wednesday, June 6, D-Day, the 68th anniversary of a great moment in American history, an event that makes America an exceptional nation. I want all my readers to realize that that incompetent in the White House, who so many foolishly voted for, did not even recognize it today, preferring to have his hand out in fund raisers. Tully is here because it is a "Dog Day Afternoon" but we are here because of the sacrifices of our fathers and grand fathers who stormed Omaha Beach that June 6, 1944.