Saturday, September 28, 2013

Retirement Party

"George finally retired yesterday. So today he's the big winner even if the score sheet doesn't show it."

The Winning Formula

"Stuart and I never get tired of winning."

"Retired today" is what I said, Jack

"I thought he said 'he's tired of me.'

Changing of the Guard

"Titan, now you can go to Florida knowing that you'll be remembered for something" giggled Frank 'Slats' Slattery. "You mean as a 'winner' retorted TennisTitan after he and the 'coddling counselor' had finished off Stuart 'not ESPN' Scott and George 'ex Chemist' Hauss (6-1) in today's finale. "No, not as a winner, but as a party pooper" chimed in 'Happy Jack' Carey. "We finally add the 'Chemist' as an always available player with his retirement yesterday and you go and beat him with me at your side twice, three consecutive sets (6-4, 6-2) exclaimed 'not ESPN.' The first order of business is 'I want a new nickname' commented George. The sobriquet 'ex Chemist' just doesn't ring true. How about 'Deli Man' recognizing my wicked side slice serve, and back spin dropper" added the 'ribald retiree'. "I was thinking more along the lines of 'cheeky coach' stated 'Happy Jack,' but then I realized  George 'up 'YOURS!' Hauss has a meaning all in Kinsley would understand about your game.

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Kudos Kids

'Damn right, Titan. We deserve top billing the way we both played this afternoon."

Jive Talking

"Come on Al. Let's put on a happy face. Maybe they'll think we won."

Need a Late Pass?

'Big Al' you must have not noticed. Bill 'EBL' Tully was not your partner today' opined Max 'Tutor' Tuchman. The 'Italian Stallion' and the 'Tutor' managed to run out the clock and stave off 'Big Al's third consecutive defeat this afternoon at the Yonkers Tennis Center (5-3 partial) versus TennisTitan and 'Rockin' Rick Ricci. "I must have been a more than suitable replacement for 'EBL' continued the Tutor.' "I managed to lead Titan back from a 1-3 deficit in the second set so that the 'bloated blowhard' can crow about a (6-3) victory in his self-serving blog over you and the 'Rock.' "That (3-6) setback you sustained in the opener with Titan as your partner was entirely TT's fault" continued 'munificent Max'. "How so, 'esteemed educator' queried 'Big Al.'  "Had not the 'noxious nitwit' tired himself out warming up "RRR' and myself as we waited for our fourth, perhaps you would have had a victory in the first set" ventured the 'mawkish maven.' "But I was the fourth" responded 'Big Al.' " I know. That's why you would've deservedly lost all three sets, save for my dillydallying in the final set" replied a 'testy Tutor.'

Thursday, September 12, 2013

My Two Tullys

"Isn't it fitting that I carry one, because the other always carries me?"

"Just Saying....

"Slats has a much better sense of humor than first serve."

My Birthday Boys

"God Bless You Both."

Here's My Gift...

"I can get used to this" TennisTitan remarked to no one in particular at picture time. The 'slothful slob' had just completed the daily double at the Yonkers Tennis Center with (6-4, 6-3) triumphs both against and with the Tulllyville Trolley. "Bill, I needed to beat you today because tomorrow you'll be celebrating your birthday and I prefer my notable victories to come against younger men." "So why did I lose to you twice this afternoon" groused 'Big Al' Diodati. "Al, you're the senior member of our little group.We all aspire to have a solid game like yours at any age, but it was apparent today that you had to save your breath to blow out four score and four more candles on your cake this coming Monday."  "And what about me," inquired Frank 'Slats' Slattery. "Sad to say, Frankie, but beating you is no longer a notable victory. Tuesday's results ended that!" The 'coddling counselor' replied, "easy for you to say Titan, but my winning with you as my partner, especially against 'Energizer Bunny Legs' is always a notable victory for me in my book."

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

"Got Some 'Splaining to do?"

"You guys looked like Lucy and Ethel on the candy conveyor belt most of the day."

"Yea but...

We've got some bragging to do!"

The 7 Grounds for Divorce

"No, Frank. I don't wanna hear 'what would Julie say.' I want to hear what Patsy would say." "You pull that crap with her, like you did with me this afternoon, she'd have your ass in court for non-support" carped an enraged Gene 'King' Slattery to cousin Frank 'Slats' Slattery at Andrus Park. The 'King' was none too happy losing the first set, after being up 2-4, (6-4), along side his cousin, to the TennisTitan and Bob 'Kraut' Kluge. "You know I can't take losing to anyone, especially when I am clearly a far better player, but to lose to that 'obnoxious oaf,' my God, my sons Chris and Chuck will be incredulous." "Gene, they went to Concordia. They don't know the meaning of the word" answered Frank. "They never lose in tennis, especially against the likes of that 'crippled curmudgeon and his motor mouth' responded my Liege. "Gene, I meant the word 'incredulous' corrected the 'coddling counselor.' "You abandoned me at my time of need with the irretrievable breakdown of your volley at critical times" critiqued a 'flummoxed Frank.' "And we did beat TT/'Kraut' (1-6) in the second set" continued 'Slats.' "Seems like you two need Richard Dawson here next time to play Family Feud" interjected the 'Kraut.' "But let me remind you," Titan and I were up (4-1 partial) in the rubber before my bus duty called. And if you two think you were coming back to beat us with the kind of support and team work I get from the Titan, then we have 'irreconcilable differences.' With that, a sheepish Frank turned to Gene and said, "how the hell can we explain this to Billy at our next game of hearts." "It's easy" quipped the Titan, 'tell him it'd be cruel and inhuman treatment to beat Titan at a sport he loves so much!"

And Frankie...Julie says, "Titan you are my hero."

Saturday, September 07, 2013

"Time to leave. Men's Semis are on TV."

"Not ESPN assures me that 'we'd have to pay extra to attend the Open.'

'Let's pretend I don't know you, Titan."

"So this is how you celebrate my long awaited return."

All's Fair in Love...

"And this is a war Prezzie" was the TennisTitan's retort. Indeed, it was a battle from start to finish as the Titan and 'Happy Jack' Carey out lasted (7-6 [5]) George 'Chemist' Hauss and Rich 'El Prezidente' Prezioso in the opening set. Tempers flared on both sides of the net over alleged missed calls. TT's needling of the 'hapless health educator' was more than the maven of Briarcliff Manor could stand. Taunts of "your cataracts are riper than Beef Steak tomatoes" were hurled at the 'boisterous bullshitter.' "Prezzie, your barbs are no more accurate than either your rotten returns or 'opportune astigmatism.' Under cooler circumstances Titan paired with Frank 'Slats' Slattery for the second set with Stuart 'Not ESPN' Scott stepping in as 'Chemist' partner for the departed 'aggrieved antagonist.' The set was not played to completion, ending at 4 games a piece to enable the participants to watch the Men's Open Semifinal. 'Slats' opined "listening to you and 'El Prezidente' this morning, Titan, brings back memories of a McEnroe - Connors semi in the early '80s... not their tennis mind you."

Thursday, September 05, 2013

Welcome Back TennisTitan

"Let's have a fun and healthy season."

Always the Winning Formula

"Like the new shirt? But I like my old partner even better."

He's like All State

"Not to worry TennisTitan, you're in good hands" was the greeting offered by Bill 'Energizer Bunny Legs' Tully as 'Big Al' Diodati and Vladimir 'Russkie' Kartsev walked to the other side of the net. Much to the surprise of TT the opening set of the first indoor session of the '13-'14 season featured the traditional foursome in an atypical alignment. "Titan, we read your blogs occasionally. We see your ass getting kicked time and time again. Even you deserve a victory' chuckled 'Big Al..' And so it was. TT/'EBL' opened with a dominant (6-0) performance. "Bill is serving underhanded because of his damaged right shoulder" remarked the 'Russian Bear' but until he has to run backwards on his heels he will still assure a victory for his partner with whomever he opposes among us." "Good observation" commented the 'bloated blowhard,' "speed kills in this sport, but man I really appreciate his deftness with his hands at net, given the play of my recent partners." "Titan, why don't you give me a 'good hand' now, interjected 'Big Al' at picture time. "Didn't I help contribute making our (3-6) loss to 'EBL'/'Russkie' in set two somewhat respectable?" "Sorry Al. You and I are brick layers at net" cackled the 'miserable misanthrope' "Only a fish should be more wary of a net than you guys" laughed 'EBL.'

Wednesday, September 04, 2013

"Gimpy HANDS" today?

"If I had any other partner I'd feel bad. But for you, Titan, I make an exception."

Painful Lesson

"Sorry Joe, there's nothing humorous about the way we played" was the Titan's response. "No way we can beat these guys if you have a sub par day at the net, not with the way I play. There are too few winners in my arsenal.  You must be able to volley effectively for us to have a chance. I can maintain an 8-10 ball rally from the back court most times, but when you or 'Slats' are my partner the strategy is always to cross and win the point on the first volley " 'Gimpy Knees' Cruz and TennisTitan were barely competitive (2-6, 2-6) against Frank 'Slats' Slattery and Bob "Kraut' Kluge at Andrus Park. "I don't have enough talent to carry the day against any of you three guys unless my partner plays at his best" whined the 'whimpering wuss.' 'Slats' interjected, "Titan, your strategy worked perfectly today. It was so much fun poaching your rallies with 'Der Klugemeister. You certainly helped me play at my best. It's like you were my partner too."