Saturday, April 19, 2008

The 'Prez' has returned!

"Titan, you shamed me into not wearing my traditional garb today. Let that be your only victory."

"The 'King' and I" was a big hit today too.

"King, if my readers follow the link under RED they'll find out my reason for wearing it today."

'Don't Be Blaming 'Big Al'...

"Just admit it. We embarrassed you."

The 'King' of Kinsley

"Eminence? Not bad, Titan. I'll take it." This is my eminent domain, isn't it?

A Little Rusty, Stuart?

"Titan, the surest sign of spring is not the crocus, but 'not ESPN' appearing at Kinsley.

Il Papa

"Prez, Big Papi is the baseball player. Il Papa is the pope and he is in Yonkers today as we play." That's how long Rich 'Prez' Prezioso has been out of the loop with sports in general and especially with the Kinsley tennis community and the Catholic faith. "Titan, you mean Lou 'Pistol' Gerencser, Bob 'Kraut' Kluge, and his Eminence Gene 'King' Slattery aren't here this morning to see my strokes!? Fortunately (for the Titan) the above referenced players, plus George 'Chemist' Hauss did not witness Prez/'Happy Jack' Carey's stunning (4-6) victory over 'Big Al' DioDati/TT on the adjacent court. 'King/'Pistol' were busy taking sets (7-5, 7-5) from the Teutonic Team that had ruled Kinsley last week. 'Big Al' was dreadful, and the 'bombastic bloviator' was not much better. In their second set the 'egomaniacal egotist' overcame his partner's inability to keep a volley on court and served out their equally unanticipated (7-5) victory over 'Prez' and 'Gimpy Knees' Cruz who let a five games to two advantage slip away. The final set of the morning had the Titan pair with the 'King' in a thrashing (6-0) of 'Chemist' and Stuart 'Not ESPN' Scott who was making his first appearance of the spring. As the boys met at net 'Kraut' noted, "Achtung Tommy boy! Don't forget my (6-2) victory over the 'Chemist' in the only singles match of the day. And remember 'Il Papa' - Cardinal Josef Ratzinger is from the Fatherland."

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Max 'Tutor' Tuchman opines...

'Titan, beating you is like putting lox on my bagel! Kapisch!?

'Big Al' Reminisces...

"Yeah, I've been beating the Titan since '92. That's more than 15 years of satisfaction added to my life."

The Fruits of a 1st Set Victory

This beard makes me a white Russian too."

We Let the First Set Get Away

'They can't possibly play as well in the second set.

first 'Da', then 'Nyet'

"Titan, in the old country the NKVD would be at my door in the morning and I would be on a train to a Gulag in Siberia" was all that Vladimir 'Russkie' Kartsev could say upon conclusion of his second set as TT's partner this date at the Yonkers Tennis Center. The 'Russkie' was crestfallen to have let a set get away from him and the 'bombastic bloviator' (3-6) to 'Big Al' DioDati and Max 'Tutor' Tuchman after having opened up a three games to one lead. 'Big Al'/'Tutor' played Kartsev like Baryshnikov danced a ballet during the last 20 minutes of action. TT had nary a ball hit to him as Al and Max wore down 'Russkie' in long rallies and exploited his weak volley. In stark contrast to 'Russkie's second set play was his performance in the stirring rally put forth by the 'immobile minotaur' and the Russian emigrant in the opener. Trailing 3-4, love-40 TT/'Russkie' rallied to win the set (7-5). 'Russkie's forehand was a dominant factor and his mobility often enabled a point to be prolonged allowing TT to finish it with a winner. As the teams met at net Tutor opined, "this was a lot like 1957. The Russians got off to a great start then too with Sputnik, but you know we Americans got to the moon first in the end anyway." Big Al remarked, "Is that why Titan hits all those moon balls?"

Saturday, April 12, 2008

TT is entertaining, if not effective

"Wrong again Titan! We are laughing at you, not with you."

Post-Set Conferencing

"Titan, by now you should take losing much better."

Stop By for a Drink Sometime

"Titan, did I ever tell you about the night I spent in the Black Forest... or was that with a Black Russian."

Der Klugemeister

"Mein Herr Kluge brought his wehrmacht to Kinsley"

Irish Stew

"Let's just say, 'You Got Wiener Schnitzelled" chortled Bob 'Kraut' Kluge at the conclusion of play at Kinsley Park. The Teutonic Tandem of 'Kraut'/'Chemist' laid waste to TennisTitan/'Slats' twice this morning in hard fought sets (5-7, 4-6). Sandwiched between these two setbacks TT managed to drop another close set with 'Happy Jack' Carey (5-7) to the Pepsi Truck Driver from Chicago and the maven of the Bunsen Burner. Indeed, the Germanic Duo reigned supreme this date going four for four, counting their opening set victory (6-3) against 'Happy Jack' and 'Big Al' DioDati. As the teams met at net George 'Chemist' Hauss opined, "Titan, perhaps instead of breaking in a new racquet, you should try a new partner." 'Slats' quipped, "Yeah, but who else would want to play beside the 'immobile minotaur.' It's too much work." 'Happy Jack' quickly interjected, "Slats,' you, like my wife, work for the Board of Education. Ergo, you get plenty of rest Monday through Friday. You should be quite capable of carrying the 'bombastic behemoth' on Saturday mornings! My wife, she's rested enough to make me a Black Forest Cake this morning."

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

'The Jersey Bomber'

"Let me quote George Bush: 'Mission Accomplished."


"I've got your number now."

Uncle Tom

"What can I say? The kid was a quick study!


"Uncle Titan, please emphasize the 'whipped' part in your stupid blog" commented a relieved Rob 'Jersey Bomber' Briscoe at the end of play this afternoon at Brookdale Community College. "And don't be crying that 'you're tired' when you are called upon to play at 5PM. Remember my work day starts at 5AM! Admit it ol' man, you got your ass kicked (1-6) in that second set. Indeed, the whippersnapper showed he mastered the learning curve in set two by cutting down on his errors and prolonging points against the 'immobile minotaur.' Rather than losing those multi-deuce games and doling out free points via double faults, (7) in the first set loss (6-1), he made the 'bombastic blowhard' earn his keep. TennisTitan played as well in the second set drubbing he took as he had in his rout of the upstart. The Brookdale College team practicing on adjacent courts were aghast when the 'Jersey Bomber' confronted the 'whipped whiner' at picture time with "Titan, how about YOU saying 'uncle' to me!"

Monday, April 07, 2008

TT's' alter ego

"Now aren't you sorry TT forgot his camera?

Oscar is a Grouch

"Ah, Titan do you expect me to clean up your mess" queried 'Jasper' George Maniscalco at the conclusion of play this morning at the Yonkers Tennis Center. The Oscar Madison of my tennis world was letting the 'boisterous blowhard' know in no uncertain terms that you can expect only so much from fellow Jaspers. TT/'Jasper George' had fallen meekly (3-6) in their set together against Tony 'no baloney' Guido and 'Lean, Lanky, Lefty' Ed Gordon. 'LLL' jumped on the band wagon also reminding the 'Tortuous Tortoise' that he had forgotten more than his camera today. "Titan, you barely beat me and Jasper (6-4) when you played that first set with 'no baloney' at your side. Did you really expect for me to save your Languid, Lethargic, Lugubrious ass in the third set (2-5, 40-30 partial) against 'JG'/'no baloney'"? Your 'bloviating braggadocio' could only timidly agree with Tony Guido's final assessment."TennisTitan, today you talked the talk, but didn't walk the walk. Next time you show up at the tennis center dressed like 'Big Bird' we don't want to hear a peep out of you!"

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

'Jasper' George Maniscalco

"Titan, make your blog educational. Explain to your readers 'what a Jasper is.'

Felix and Oscar

George looks a little like Walter Matthau. I keep my house like Oscar Madison.

Shillelagh, LLL, Jasper

"Tomorrow is our big day Titan. Those Social Security checks hit our bank accounts. $ for more tennis!


"Titan, I feel like I am making the big time, you know, with you featuring me on your blog" commented 'Jasper' George Maniscalco upon completion of play at the YTC this morning. "Don't be so happy about it George. Not, at least until you have read it," chimed in 'Lean, Lanky, Lefty' Ed Gordon. "Yeah, said 'Shillelagh Man,' Don Carmody, "I sometimes have wanted to hit him with my walking stick!" Such was the reception the 'bloated behemoth' received at net upon his dismantlement (6-4, 6-1, 5-2, 40-30) of his 3 compatriots today. The 'boisterous blowhard' rotated himself through the group, making sure that no one was spared the incessant chatter and insipidly inane commentary offered by the 'egomaniacal egotist.' "It ain't bragging if you can back it up" chortled the 'blogging bullshitter' as he snapped away on his digital camera. 'LLL' quipped, "No three losses for me today. Hey, I won 6-4 with the Titan when he was still rusty. I carried him." "Our 6-1 blowout was no contest. I dominated from the back court and at net" observed the 'Shillelagh Man.' 'Jasper George' quickly getting the hang of it retorted, "Titan, quit with the high arching lobs. It slowed the last set down. I was but one point away from getting my first official victory with you and you screwed it up!"