Wednesday, December 30, 2009

My Picture Cards

"Amackassin's Royalty"- 'Jack', 'Queen' and 'King'.

Simply stated...

"She's half my size, but more than twice the player I am."

0-6! then 6-4

"I knew if I waited long enough the 'King' would eventually show up."

Chess Anyone?

"So Titan, didn't I tell you" prodded Rich 'RC Cola' Condon at the conclusion of the fourth set played this wintry day at the Yonkers Tennis Center. RC had touted that the 'Queen of Amackassin,' Debbie Samis would be the determining force in this day's court action, just as Bill 'EBL' Tully had dictated play Monday at the YTC. Fortunately for the Titan he had the benefit of playing along side the Queen for his (6-2) victory against RC and Gene 'King' Slattery. Your erstwhile 'bombastic bloviator' was the victim of a particularly quick 'checkmate' as he and the 'King' were annihilated at love (0-6) in the opening set. 'My Liege' who had started so strong this past Monday against TT/'EBL' had nothing to contribute in the 20 minute shellacking administered by his fellow Amackassin Club players. Titan was ready to send the his 'King' on a one way ticket to the Indianapolis 500 (The Brick Yard) with the amount of bricks the 'King' deposited into the net or beyond the baseline in the opener. But the 'King' regained his form in the finale when he again paired with TT in handing 'Queen Debbie' her only setback of the day (6-4). As the foursome gathered at net to bid their goodbyes the 'petulant pedagogue' responded to the 'RC's query. "Richie, it's what you didn't tell me that I'll remember most about today's action. You hung in there tough in that third set as my partner. You were the 'Jack' of all trades in our hard fought (3-6) defeat to the 'royalty' of Amackassin." Slattery, anticipating what was coming from the 'insipid instigator' quipped, "No, Titan, you are not the 'Ace', just because you delivered five of them in today's play. After all, four of them barely made it over the net." Debbie said, "And I thought I was supposed to serve like the girl!" "Who knew!?!"

Monday, December 28, 2009

The Bullet and The Marksman

"I had to reprise these pictures. RC's no better with a camera than a racquet."

Amackassin Artillery

Gene Slattery/Rich Condon: "We didn't bring enough ammo."

RC Cola

"I feel like I've been scalped - by the hat below of course."

'Nuff said'

Trash Talking

"No way were you the Joker today, Titan" (see 12/17 blog) exclaimed Bill 'Energizer Bunny Legs' Tully as the two compatriots sauntered off the Yonkers Tennis Center courts. TennisTitan and 'EBL' had rallied to take the last two sets from Gene 'King' Slattery and Rich 'RC Cola' Condon (6-2. 6-3, 4-2 partial) when time ran out. Your 'boisterous blowhard' had successfully answered the bell and played extremely well alongside the 'Tullyville Trolly.' 'King' Slattery had come out strong, booming his serve past and or through the 'loathsome loudmouth' in the (4-6) opener. 'King' had predicted that his 'Amackassin artillery' would be more than enough to quell the 'bragadocious braggart' no matter how well the 'Crestwood cruiser' vollied and patrolled the back line to make the 'immobile minotaur' a winner. It looked like that might be the case early on, making this a long day on the har-tru. But the slight drop in 'King's first serve accuracy after a dominant first set performance, and with 'EBL' hitting stride, and TT solving the riddle of Condon/Slattery at net, the tide turned. Titan raised his game, particularly at net, to compliment the 'ubiquitous urchin' who runs everything down. The 'petulant pedagogue' had an effective 'folly floater' and lasered the alley often enough, to create the seams that needed to be exploited against these net-rushing adversaries. As the teams met at net for post-mortems 'King' opined, "Blowhard, how come you don't raise your game with me, when we partner against 'EBL' and 'Big Al'? 'RC Cola,' endeavoring to curry favor with TT responded, "Ah, 'King', speaking of raising one's game...what about the 2nd and 3rd sets." Tully chimed in "Titan's a gamer. He doesn't promise what he can't deliver. Today's effort was 'C.O.D.'... put Condon on the Defense!" ' Then 'King' delivered this fatal warning to his unsuspecting partner: "Richie, you'll be lucky if Tommy TrashTalk doesn't change that 'n' in your name to an 'm.' He can be a REAL scumbag in his stupid blog, you know."

Thursday, December 17, 2009

My Entourage

"We don't care what you put in the blog. Everyone knows you write and take better pictures than you play tennis."

King of Flubs

"Titan, I'm not the least bit worried about my game. Afterall, you are my next opponent."

The Joker

"King's gonna be gunning for me now. I'm gonna bring my two 6 shooters next time."


"King, are you sure it was your knee that was operated on" joked the TennisTitan at the completion of the two sets played at the Yonkers Tennis Center today. 'My Liege' had paired with TT against Bill 'Energizer Bunny Legs' Tully and 'Big Al' DioDati and was surgically dismembered by that combo (2-6, 4-6). Titan who had played very little tennis on his recent Senior Southern Tour played creditably, to his own undistinguished level. The 'King of Kinsley' had no answers at net and was unable raise his game to his usually high standard coming off a two month layoff. 'Big Al' quipped, "It's a damn sad day for tennis when the 'fatuous fathead' volleys better than anyone he partners with. Gene laid more bricks at net than the day masons I hire to work my construction jobs." 'EBL' choosing to see the glass half full opined, 'the King was a little rusty today. Just read the Titan's blog about this match. Then you'll see real rust. I bet, not even one funny line, and he's been away from the keyboard only one month!" Slattery turned to the 'blathering blasphemer' and said, "In 10 days we meet again, but then I'll be on the other side of the net. I will again be your king; you will be but a joker in the deck I shall deal you that day!"