Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Pleading My Case

EBL was supposed to be my partner, not 'Slats"

Calling a Spade a 'Spade'

"Titan, you've got bigger balls than these to criticize any effort made by anyone who has you as a partner!"

Quadruple Bypass

"It was a great year for all Titan's cronies on the court... 'we're not getting better, just older - and having fun doing it." See you in '09!"

Good Bye 2008

"Titan, are you sure you wanted me as a fourth?" snickered 'Big Al' Dio Dati at the conclusion of the third set at the Yonkers Tennis Center this date. 'Big Al' filled in for an ailing Gene Slattery forcing a reshuffling of sides. Indeed, 'Big Al' was sitting in the cat bird seat having contributed mightily to the (3-6, 7-5, 0-6) defeat of the tandem of TennisTitan/Frank 'Slats' Slattery. Titan had proved prophetic in stating that the Italian Stalion's performance would determine to a large extent today's outcome. Not that Bill 'Energizer Bunny Legs' didn't shine throughout the well played contest. But that was to be expected. Not that the quickness and agility of 'EBL' were not effectively countered during the first 90 minutes of play by 'Slats' hustle and timely stroking by the 'bombastic blowhard.' But TT was not able to outplay 'Big Al' in set one resulting in a relatively easy win for 'Big Al'/EBL. Set two featured many 18-22 ball rallies that ultimately took its toll on 'Slats' in the finale when he was no where to be found. As the exhausted foursome met at net 'Slats' opined "Titan, I am going to call 'King' Gene Slattery and tell him you got me sick today making me run endlessly." To wit the 'boisterous blowhard' retorted "Slats, 'The King and I" was a Broadway smash 50 years ago; it would have been no different today at the YTC. I think the wrong Slattery showed up!"

Friday, December 26, 2008

My Three Amigos

"Titan, wining the Santa's Helper's Hat is fine, but I'd have preferred a new tennis shirt like these yokels next to me got from their families."

Boxing Day Tennis

TennisTitan celebrated the Christmas holiday in fine style this date by joining his cohorts in three sets of fun doubles at the YTC. Titan made sure that all of the participants got to play Santa Claus, and have to carry the Titan on his back for one set each! Your 'bombastic blowhard' wisely chose 'Big Al' Dio Dati in the opener against George 'Chemist' Hauss and George 'Teacher' Febles. Although Big Al/TT dropped the set (7-9) The Italian Stallion had the lightest load as the 'immobile minotaur' gave forth with his best effort of the day in rallying the team to extend the set into extra games. 'Chemist'/TT rolled to a (6-3) victory in the middle stanza on the strength of the slicing/dicing machinations of 'Chemist' and his court coverage for the tiring 'bloated behemoth.' The finale saw the surprisingly dominant performance of the TT/'Teacher tandem who had their complete way with the opposition in a (6-1) laugher. As the crew met at net Titan awarded the Santa's Helper's Hat to 'El Profesor,' Ignacio 'George the Teacher' Febles for his consistent play throughout the morning and the ease with which he slung Titan on his back in the final set. My Mexican-American friend calmly put me in my place by saying, "Gringos have prospered off the labor of my people for years. Why should you be any different!"

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Tom 'Fireman' Conaty

"Hey TT, I only kept you in the match because you said your son was a Longhorn."

"Nice try but..."

"Titan, two Irishmen against one is no contest."

False Alarm?

"So Titan, did I douse your flame or what?"commented Tom 'Fireman' Conaty at the conclusion of the set played at the YTC this date. TennisTitan had responded to the SOS sent out by 'Big Al' Dio Dati 20 minutes before match time to serve as a last minute fill-in for 'Russkie' Vladimir Kartsev. The 'immobile minotaur' moved faster to suit up than the retired 'Fireman' ever did sliding down the firehouse pole to get on the indoor court on this brutally cold day. The 'blogging bullshitter' paired with 'Big Al' in a (5-7) loss to 'Fireman' and John 'Relic' Gallagher. 'Big Al' was particularly disappointed in the defeat as the 'Relic' continued his inexplicable mastery over his 'Italian Stallion' compadre. This was only the second opportunity TT has had to stroke against the 'Fireman' and it was highly enjoyable. 'Fireman' possesses an accurate serve with pop and placement, speed akin to 'EBL' Tully and quick, agile movement at net. As the boys met at net the 'bombastic bloviator' lamented that 'Fireman' had to leave before the session was over. 'Fireman' quipped, "Titan, you only get one hosing today, but to your credit I'd have to list your game as a three alarm fire." 'Relic' chortled, "Al, you got smoked!"

Thursday, December 18, 2008

'Gimpy Knees' Cruz in distress

"Too much arroz con pullo, Jose?"

Titan's Whine

"Gimpy Knees, you made me sick today with your play. I can't beat these guys when you are not 100%. Go have a glass of wine."

'Big Al' and 'EBL' delivered the medicine.

"Titan, don't make excuses - just make good shots and you might win a set sometime."

Sickening Performance

"Titan, there's no way you can beat us when Joe plays like that"commented 'Big Al' Dio Dati at the conclusion of play at the Yonkers Tennis Center this date. Titan had dropped both sets as 'Gimpy Knees' Cruz' partner to 'Big Al' and Bill 'Energizer Bunny Legs' Tully 2 and 3. Indeed, 'GK' was way off his game, over hitting his ground strokes and failing to convert volleys at net with uncharacteristic regularity. GK was the weakest rather than the second best player on the court. Titan didn't do the cause much good either; dropping all four of his service games in the match. Several times during the contest play was halted to allow 'GK' to settle his stomach. Titan remarked at net as they players left the court, "Joe, maybe if you had hurled you'd have gotten that bad play out of your system once and for all." The Puerto Rican quickly quipped, "Titan, it was your game that made me sick in the first place, not the rice and corned beef that I had for lunch." TT retorted, "GK, it's a deal. Next time I serve in the box, you barf in the bag!"

Monday, December 15, 2008

The 'Big Three' of Pine Island

"Not Ford, Chrysler, and General Motors but rather 'Wolverine,' 'Show Me,' and the 'Pitt Panther."

This Tison Knows Cars not Chickens

"Darryl and I didn't have it in the clutch. Matter of fact, we had bad breaks. But the Wolverine does have wheels"

'Show Me' Klein with TT

"Coach Klein 'showed me' how to get it done in the second set!"

Ed Rubash with TT

"The Pitt Panther did his best but couldn't get the Titan to the finish line. We had trouble with our exhaust and my Catholic converter!"

Bailouts and Blowouts

"Titan, maybe it's you who needs a bail out" quipped Ed 'Pitt Panther' Rubash at the conclusion of the third set played today at Blue Crab Key. The 'Panther' and Titan had succumbed to Darryl 'Wolverine' Tison and Walt 'Show Me' Klein (3-6) to end the day's play for TT on a disappointing note. The 'braggadocios braggart' had invited the trio to the BCK compound for some competitive doubles based on "you guys are the Big Three down at the center, now it's time to prove it heBoldre." TennisTitan paired with 'Wolverine' in the opener and dropped the set (6-7 [4]) to a determined, hustling Pennsylvanian and a big-serving, back-spinning Missourian. TT fared better (naturally) along side 'Coach' Klein as he and 'Show Me' dominated the middle set (6-2). As the opponents met at the twine Coach commented, "Titan, perhaps I should loan you some of my skills." The 'Wolverine,' having first hand knowledge of the auto industry, quipped, "Guys, Titan needs be be completely retooled. He has no second gear or reverse on the court. His only asset is his motor mouth which is always stuck in over drive. Let's find a foreigner to replace TT in our foursome."

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Captain's Cove Crew

"Titan, welcome back to Pine Island Tennis. This is where masterpieces are found on the courts and not in the art galleries of Matlacha."

Titan with Canadian Cruncher

The Canadian Cruncher came up big in the 12th game to get Titan a hard earned second victory.

At long last... a game in Dec.

Your TennisTitan has been in Florida for ten days and finally managed to engage in some competitive sets rather than the mamby-bamby four game rotation that is played at Philips Park to accommodate all ability levels.This morning TT met with Ron and Joanne Van Dyck at the Captain's Cove Condos to join host Tom 'out-of this-world' Marrs for three sets of doubles. With temperatures in the low fifties amid a continuously swirling wind Titan managed to emerge victorious in sets 2 and 3 when pairing with Ron 'Michigander' (6-4) and (7-5) with Joanne 'Canadian Cruncher.' The 'lumbering loudmouth' did not enjoy success with the host at his side in the opener when the waitress from Captain Cons and her husband served up a quick bagel (0-6). As the foursome met at net for pictures Titan remarked the Van Dycks play so well together it's no wonder that they have a beard named after them. Ron quipped, "my ancestors were related to the the Flemish painter Anton Van Dyck. He authored his masterpieces in oils on canvas, Joanne and I do ours on HarTru Courts with felt covered spheres hit with spin, power and precision." Host Tom Marrs commented "I'm going to grow one of those van Dyck beards so no one on the island will recognize me. The Titan's got the right idea with his tennis game and that face of his."