Saturday, March 29, 2008

"Tennis 101"

"I even changed his diapers a time or two in the old days."

Teacher with Student

"Titan, this Jersey guy was buzzing around the court like a mesquito. But we swatted him good."


"So, 'Chemist,' did we provide this upstart with a good education this morning, or not" quipped the 'immobile minotaur' with that shit-eating grin hidden behind those white whiskers. Your Titan had just taken his nephew, Robbie 'Jersey Bomber' Briscoe, to the proverbial cleaners (6-2) in their set of singles to complete play at Kinsley this morning. Rob had started off quickly against the 'bloated behemoth' jumping off to a two-love advantage before guile and experience took over. TT proceeded to run the table as effectively as he 'ran his mouth.' 'Chemists' had defeated the neophyte (6-2) in the previous set as TT laid in wait, resting and devising his game plan. Indeed, George 'Chemist' Hauss had laid the groundwork for TT's victory by sapping the energy and deflating the confidence of the younger Briscoe in their mano y mano confrontation. Rob had sampled the sweet taste of victory in his first set playing alongside his erstwhile uncle in their (6-2) swamping of 'Chemist'/'Big Al' DioDati. But without the Titan to steady the ship Rob was run wild by the experienced 'Bunsen Burner' maven who prevailed in almost all extensive rallies and put his heavy top spin in play. As the boys met at net 'Chemist' used his keen analytical mind to opine, "Kid, maybe you're just not ready for prime time. Titan and I give away 20 years to you, but that's also twenty years of experience." The 'egomanical egotist' retorted, "Rob, lunch is on me. You made me feel 20 years younger!"

Thursday, March 27, 2008

The White Russian

'Russkie' says "God Bless America even if I have to put up with the TennisTitan."

Some Vodka Tonic?

'I told him it was an "Absolut" victory. He said, "I Smirnoff-ed him on the court."


"Thank God for Ronald Reagan. These two yokel Democrats voted for Carter and then Mondale. I'd still be in the Soviet Union!

How About a Drink?

"Titan, Da, I always suspected that you were a Bolshevik. Those red shorts and hat made you a member of the new Red Army" quipped the 'Russkie', Vladimir Kartsev at the conclusion of play at the YTC this date. TT had done his part in the first two of three sets played to completion when he opposed the emigrant entrepreneur in abetting Jim Addiss 'Abada' in their thrashing of 'Russkie' and 'Big Al' Dio Dati (6-2,6-1). As proof that the weapon doesn't make the soldier, the 'bloated behemoth,' breaking in a new racquet, faired no better when he, as the White Russian's partner was similarly on the receiving end of the dismantlement administered by 'Abada'/'Big Al' in the third set (2-6, 0-3 partial). As the teams met at net 'Abada' opined, "Boys, I guess I held the balance of power today." 'Big Al' chirped, "When you play with or against TennisTitan, there is no feeling of 'detente' on the court. 'Russkie,' chimed in, "Vodka, I always have. Today I got CREAMed. Titan, you bring the Kahlua."

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Titan's Philosophy...

"Anyone playing tennis in his 80's is always a winner in TT's book."

Titan's Reality Check

"Titan, how's this for a fantasy? You beating us!

The Tao

"Fantasy? Fantasy Baseball!?! You're going home to draft a fantasy baseball team, why Titan you've been playing Fantasy Tennis all morning," taunted George 'Chemist' Hauss as the 'bloated behemoth' left Kinsley this morning after only playing one set. And what a set it was. Like the spring crocus, if only in 36 degree weather, six veteran players appeared at 9AM to unofficially open the 2008 outdoor season. TennisTitan drew the venerable Sab 'Koide Kid' as his partner against the 'Chemist' and 'Big Al' DioDati. Waiting in the wings for the winners were 'Happy Jack' Carey and George 'Teacher' Febles. TT/'KK' trailed love-3 before the coffee kicked in as the odd couple rallied to knot the set at 3. Again, down 5-6, they broke through to send the set to a tie breaker (6-7 [2]). The 84 year old Asiatic doctor tried to comfort the 'immobile minotaur' with the wisdom of a zen master with, "Most 'egotistical egomaniac', 'Confucius say, a fantasy is to dream and be inspired to love, to live a good life.' But playing as your partner, is my Nightmare! It is worse than me running the NYC marathon without a bottle of water."

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Childish Behavior

"I'm trying to remind Titan that he should bring his racquet to a pawn shop. Get it? Three balls..."

Great Minds Think Alike

"I don't want him as my partner either, but somebody's got to play with the Titan."


'Titan, where have you been?" queried Jim Addiss 'Abada' as your 'bullshitting blogger' made his first appearance on a tennis court in five weeks. The 'immobile minotaur' has been struggling through the winter months with an enduring cold, constant earaches from infected sinuses, and the pain associated with recently extracted wisdom teeth! So was it any wonder that TennisTitan had the doors blown off (0-6), when pairing with 'Big Al' DioDati against Joe 'I'll show you no mercy, blowhard!" Cruz in today's first set at the Yonkers Tennis Center. 'Abada' came to his senses for the second (4-6) and third (6-3) sets when he agreed to pair with TT against ''Big Al'/'Gimpy Knees' Cruz. Both sets were highly competitive with TT/'Abada' opening up a break (second set) and double break leads (third set) that were difficult to maintain. By the third set the 'bombastic bloviator' had pop on his serve and was effective with his lobs but never got his groundies up to par. 'GK' was smoking with his returns and did the heavy lifting. 'Abada,' usually a lock with his lefty serve on the ad-side, struggled and his net game was not up to his usual high standards. As the boys met at net for picture time 'Big Al' wished all a Happy Easter and subtley reminded the Titan, "Tom, Jesus was raised from the dead, maybe your game will come back too!" 'Gimpy Knees' exclaimed 'maybe he can do something for your vision like that guy in the gospel." 'Abada' quipped, "He's already changed water into WHINE for the Titan, let's not expect another miracle."