Saturday, May 11, 2013

Sprinkling Pixie Dust

"Titan, never count me out, ya hear!"

The 'White Chin' Boys

"Once I got him up off the mat, we rolled to victory."

Drugged and Mugged

"Now, you tell me Titan. Which of us needs Prozac?"

Duck Tales to Ninja Turtles

"Mein Freund, Herr Titan, I bid you 'Auf Wiedersehen " smirked Der Klugmeister, Indeed, Bob 'Kraut' Kluge put his stamp on today's small contingent of players at Kinsley Park this dreary morning. Thundershowers brought drenching rain to the area overnight but the rain had ceased by 9:15AM. Enter the Trio of Tennis Whores with brooms and rollers in hand. TennisTitan paired with 'Kraut' in an extremely high quality first set that saw a 0-4 deficit turn into a (7-5) victory over George 'Chemist' Hauss and Chris 'Prozac Kid' Tyrone. "Titan, you can describe your last play date in Yonkers for a month as half empty or half full" quipped the 'tempestuous Teuton' who with 'Prozac Kid' at his side prevailed in the second set (4-6) over  the tandem of TT/'Chemist.' "Bobby, I can only describe this morning as 'fabulous fun.' It is why we all live for Saturday mornings now, just as we lived for the Saturday cartoons sixty years ago." "Prozac' remarked "Gees, I was watching Bullwinkle and Beanie this morning when Bob called me to round out the foursome."

Saturday, May 04, 2013

Thank You Max

The 'Tutor' was gracious enough to cede his indoor court time to me and I am happy to add a new tennis friend in Jose."

Meet Jose 'Sidespin' Guzman

"He's happy now...wait'll he plays against me. It only takes one time."

George dos veces

"Stunned?! No, Titan, I am flabbergasted that you won so easily."

"Bring the Pinada, Titan"

"One, one more day and we will celebrate. Probably that we can still have so much fun playing a game we love, regardless of a 'loco boca.'

Cuatro de Mayo

"Maybe tomorrow you can celebrate, just not this morning" beamed the TennisTitan earlier today at the Yonkers Tennis Center. TT and George 'Chemist' Hauss had just come back to resoundingly defeat George 'Teacher' Febles and Jose 'Sidespin' Guzman (6-2), after having decidedly lost to the same pair (2-6). The rubber set ended on serve, (3-2 partial) as time expired. "You play an irritating brand of tennis" 'Sidespin' continued as the group gathered at net. "Is it my ability to make a spectacular shot after having flubbed an easy one? Or perhaps it is my penchant to effectively mix up my service pattern to keep you off balance on your return" prodded the 'braggadocios blowhard." "Que pasa, amigo? Are you kidding. It's your inane running commentary on every ball hit. Nothing to do with your tennis. You need Kaopectate for diarrhea of the mouth" countered the 'happy hispanic.' "He's much worse on Saturday mornings over at Kinsley. The neighbors changed the signs around the park to 'curb your mouth' and 'slow- loud children playing" added a 'flustered Febles' still smarting from the domination TT/''Sidespin' exhibited (6-1) in the opening set.

Friday, May 03, 2013

The 'King' and his Court


The 'Condor'

"But I proved to be a 'Vulture' at net."

What Exile?

"Titan, I will always come back to haunt you -and I said 'haunt,' - not taunt, - that's your thing." "My racket does my talking on the court" Gene (ever the) 'King' Slattery chided the TennisTitan at the completion of play at Andrus Park this date.  "My Liege, it's been two years since you graced a court that I stood on with your presence. You do me great honor" retorted the 'truculent taunter.' "Don't lay it on so thick" interjected Frank 'Slats' Slattery, "we only manged to take the middle set (6-2) against the 'King' and Rich 'Condor' Condon. "The (6-8, 3-6) losses that bookended our victory were credible performances, but losses nonetheless" cousin Frank assuaged the 'King.' "I know that 'Slats,' do you think I wanted to depose the 'King' by winning all three sets? Then I'd be King." "This ain't checkers, Titan. You can't even jump over the net" quipped the'Condor.' "Checkmate" said the 'King' smiling broadly.

Wednesday, May 01, 2013

'I Gotta Bring Him a 'Stick'

Because he was a guidance counselor, he always believed in an 'Open Door' policy with the students.

In any language

"Cállate y siéntate, Titan."  Halt die klappe und setz dich, Titan

The Louvre Door

"Frankie, but this was my last play date before the annual dinner at Dom and Vinnie's tomorrow. How could you let me down like this" lamented the 'bloviating bullshitter.' You know I need to make my 'bellicose bombast' during the meal, telling everyone how well I played" continued the "prevaricating provocateur.' "How's it going to look that the last blog I post I lose the first set (6-7 [4]) with you as my partner to Bob 'Kraut' Kluge, and of all people, George 'Teacher' Febles. "Titan, let that be my lesson to you" retorted, 'Teacher,' you left the door open when you got up 4-2 in games and eventually failed to close out the set on your service at 6-5. You have no one to blame but yourself you 'insipid idiot.' Titan responded. "Where have you been, my little 'jumping bean jalapeno amigo'? Mexico, Spain, Guatemala!? I thought you had spent your time teaching Spanish to little, rich, suburban, white boys, not lecturing 'loathsome libertines' like me" lambasted the 'noxious nincompoop.' "I can always blame someone else. 'Slats' is a Louvre Door; everyone breezes right through him! He can't stick a volley at net. He's made of cheap balsa wood and always seems to be satisfied only with getting the ball back. He never takes away his opponents time and space. He leaves me to try to win the point from the baseline." "Titan, you're being a little hard on your regular partner aren't you" continued 'Der Klugemeister.' After all Frank 'Slats' Slattery did contribute mightily to your (6-2, 4-2 partial) dismantling of 'Kraut'/'Teacher in subsequent sets.' To wit the TennisTitan smiled broadly and said, "Yeah, Bobby, maybe I'll still sit next to him at the restaurant so I can coach him."