Saturday, August 31, 2013

Credit where credit is due.

"I figure, if I feed his ego, he'll play harder for me next time and i won't have to explain a first set loss."

"Has that Pepsi shirt seen the washing machine?"

"Kraut, it's been tough getting a victory against you these past few weeks."

Well, it's my blog, isn't it?

"Excuse me George. I do all the blaming."

Happiness is Beating the Titan

"What's with the pose, 'Kraut.' 'El profesor' a bigger load to carry than moi?"

Comme ci, comme ca

"Well George, it is Labor Day weekend,after all" was Titan's terse comment to an exhausted George 'Chemist' Hauss at the conclusion of play this morning at Kinsley Park. 'Chemist' had taken TT on his slouched shoulders in his fourth consecutive set to lead the 'crusty curmudgeon' to a (6-2) victory over Bob 'Kraut' Kluge and Stuart 'not Espn' Scott. TennisTitan had paired with the 'Bunsen burner' man in his opening foray against 'Der Klugemeister' and George 'el profesor' Febles. The 'teacher' was making one of his infrequent Saturday appearances at Kinsley and provided enough support to secure the (4-6) defeat of TT/'Chemist.' "George, you've been on vacation this week. I didn't expect you to continue it this morning when you accepted the mantle of responsibility of doing the running for me" quipped the 'irascible idiot.' To wit 'Chemist' replied, "yeah, it's always work playing with you Titan, Each and everyone of us here, know it's always a labor day on the court. One with inane, annoying comments and a very occasional winner."

Monday, August 26, 2013

We needed a Rickshaw

"Titan was definitely too much to carry today."

The Little Engine Who Could

"And I thought my time in 'Nam was tough. 'I think I can..."

Reality Sets In

TennisTitan regrouped at the Andrus Park courts with Joe 'Gimpy Knees' Cruz, Frank 'Slats' Slattery and Bob 'Kraut' Kluge. TT/'Slats' paired in the opener hoping they could duplicate their strong performance from last week but were soundly trounced (1-6). 'Der Klugemeister' stepped up to be the Titan's partner in the second set and evidently lost his mojo (2-6). Hope was springing eternally - until an afternoon shower stopped play with TT/'Gimpy Knees up (2-1 partial). At picture time a visibly lame TennisTitan offered, "I either have leg cramps coming on or have strained a calf muscle and probably shouldn't play on Wednesday." An unsympathetic 'Kraut' retorted, "you probably shouldn't play any day, you just haven't realized it yet." 'Slats,' quipped, "Titan, your excuses for losing are always lame, so this leg business is nothing new." "Leave the man alone in his misery," interjected 'Gimpy Knees.' I feel bad enough that the rain prevented me from winning a third game with the 'odious oaf.' Then I could have declared myself the best player today."

Saturday, August 24, 2013

No Hangover Blues Here

"I am strong enough to carry the Titan, late night or not."

"This ain't Snow White...

more like Cinderella. We had a Ball!"

"Not today boys"

"We're not sops! But you can feature us in Aesop's next time."

The Dwarfs

 "I am usually 'Happy' as you can see."
Anyone would be 'Grumpy' to lose to that jerk"

Fairytale Tennis

"No one who plays you ever expects you to be Bashful about your supposed tennis prowess when you write your Dopey blog" commented Bob 'Kraut' Kluge at picture time. "That's because I know how to pick a partner who gives me a chance to win" answered a Happy TennisTitan after his satisfying (7-5) second set victory over Rich 'dozin' docent' Gerchak and the 'Kraut.' "My only concern was that my 'naughty nephew,' Rob 'Jersey Bomber' Briscoe, would be too 'Sleepy' to get the job done for me this morning after a late night on McLean Av. post Mets game" said TT. "I even enjoyed playing with the 'bloated blowhard' this morning" contributed Stuart 'not Espn' Scott who helped defeat (6-2) the tandem of 'Big Al' Diodati and Frank 'Slats' Slattery in the opener. "Wish I could have stayed for another set with you Titan, but I have to see my Doc this morning before heading off on a family vacation later today" added Stuart. A very Grumpy 'Big Al' chided, "I bet that 'facetious fairytale' teller will not even give you full credit in his (sic) Sleazy commentary. "I thought the name of the seventh dwarf was Sneezy" questioned the 'dozin docent.' "Sorry, for this (sic) Grimm reminder" interjected the 'testy Teuton.' This is the 21st century...Sleazy is appropriate!

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Working up an Appetite

"So what's a little agita. I'll get over it by Saturday."


"Got anything to say now, 'bodacious blowhard' was the 'testy Teuton's comment as he retrieved his gear and headed back to the bus depot.The 'Kraut' with the ample assistance of Joe 'Gimpy Knees' Cruz had come back in the truncated second set to seize the lead (3-4 partial) and send TennisTitan and Frank 'Slats' Slattery to a pizza lunch to discuss what could have been, but wasn't. 'Slats' attempted to console the 'whining wimp' as the scrumptious pie was delivered to the table. "Titan, those sets (6-3) could have gone either way. We played them tough. No way they thought it would take an hour to close out the first set. And then to come back so strong before 'Der Klugemeister, Bob Kluge, had to bail. You've got nothing to be ashamed of." At meals end, the sated, 'prevaricating pinhead' was brought back to earth. 'Slats' opined, "there's one thing you should be embarrassed about, 'gluttonous goombah.' You ate all but 2 slices of the pie!"

Saturday, August 17, 2013

"Kraut, where are you?"

An Athlete and a Scholar....NOT!

"Next year we are having our 50th reunion. This'll be a topic of conversation for sure."

Simply Stated

Tried and True Opponents

"The 'Chemist' hung in there to the end, however bitter it was."

Jolting Jaspers

We played so well together, I thought Rick earned another photo. Those fingers of his indicate our 2 victories.

On Court Fireworks

"Ethics? Titan, who are you to speak about a subject you can barely spell, no less practice. Remember, I worked with you at Lincoln H.S." cautioned an enraged Bob 'Kraut' Kluge. "I am still pissed off with you from Thursday and now you hassle me because I want to play singles, you jerk off! Der Klugemeister was angered when TT broke his balls because 'Kraut' attempted to leave his doubles match at 4-4 to engage 'Big Daddy' Dave Lipscomb in singles. "It's bad enough that you and Rich 'dozin' docent' Gerchak beat Mike ' not so stellar' Stella (6-4) and myself in a set I played like crap in, but now you want me to attend the Kinsley Kangaroo Court because you say I violated some unwritten code of conduct." "Bobby, it's not right that you'd leave three guys to play Canadian simply because you didn't want to tire yourself out in a meaningless doubles game or go 'into the tank' to finish a set quickly as it appears you did. Your potential singles set is meaningless to us too." "Cool down" warned 'not so stellar.' "George 'Chemist' Hauss" will take the 'testy Teuton's place for the second set (6-2) against the 'jovial Jaspers and I'll have a partner who'll give his all throughout the entire set. "Don't be so sure of that," reminded a visibly tired 'Chemist." "And Titan, before I start my singles match" yelled 'Kraut' from the far court, "set up a doubles match for me mid-week against you and 'Slats.'

Thursday, August 15, 2013

But, but, Bobby...

"Here's my Plan, Titan. 'I'll Be gone!

Plan B Boys

"Our plan was to beat you. Nuff said?"

Your guess is as good...

Can you figure out why the SpinMaster has those fingers up. Is it Puerto Rican math? He won 7 games to win the first set. Maybe it's "We're No. 1" and "Hi Mom."

Counseling Session

"Spin-Master" you've got a lot to learn" continued Bob 'Kraut' Kluge. "Playing well and beating Titan doesn't get you props in the blog. Any of us can do that. It's playing spectacularly well and winning with the Titan that gets you recognition." "But he told me to implement Plan B -not be his partner- and I did, that's why I paired with Frank 'Slats' Slattery in our scintillating (6-7 [4]) first set victory. "Jose, that first set went one hour and ten minutes. Titan played his ass off, winning all three of his services and I screwed up royally. TT carried me. Now I've got to read his bloviating bullshit. I need my own Plan B" intoned the 'testy Teuton.' "Bobby, you and Jose 'Spin-Master' Guzman would have never heard the end of it had you two not nosed ahead of TennisTitan/'Slats' (4-5 partial) in the set we couldn't complete" commented the 'coddling counselor.' "I don't get it, Frankie. How do you do it? You know, you always seem to wanna be his partner" asked Jose. "It's simple. Titan is my Plan B. He's my marriage therapist. I know that however poorly I may be playing, he's always happy that I am chasing balls he should be getting. When I put my head on the pillow tonight all I hear as I fall asleep is 'you,' 'you,' 'you.'  It's just like my Patsy does when I awaken in the morning."

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Misnomer, for sure

"I wore this shirt today knowing that George the 'Chemist' would be my partner. Unfortunately his play dishonored it big time."

Hats Off

"Yeah Titan, you do have more hair, but we have more wins."

A Quick Start...

 but an even quicker finish.

Hoya Suxa, not Hoya Saxa!

Perhaps, you should get a new shirt. May I suggest "WHINERVILLE" rather than Georgetown opined Frank 'Slats' Slattery. "Just because you and 'Big Al' Diodati whipped us (2-6) in that second set you're feeling your oats now, Frankie" lamented the 'lame loudmouth.' "George had a miserable morning at net. He shanked more balls into the net and out of play than 'Big Al' has hairs on his head" continued the 'crusty curmudgeon.' "Are you saying that it was George 'Chemist' Hauss' fault that you didn't run after one ball that wasn't in your strike zone, Titan" queried 'Slats.' "Frankie, what I'm saying is this. We were lucky to win the first set (6-4) against 'Happy Jack' Carey and 'Stuart 'not Espn' Scott.  The Georgetown Hoyas sucked on the Kinsley court today just like they do at the Verizon Center in D.C.

Thursday, August 08, 2013

Sweat Equity

"Here's the difference Titan. We three are in shape. You can barely hold the camera after two hours of intense play in these conditions."


"Look who it is. The SpinMaster, Jose Guzman."

"Is this how you treat my invitation to join The Tennis Whores Club?"

"Cream Cheese, perhaps."

"Give me a 'B'...Give me an 'A'...Give me a 'G'... I won't finish it...just put a bag over your head."

Madre de Dios, Que Pasa!

"Titan, if nothing else, we have established that Jose's shoulders are not big enough to carry you" quipped Frank 'Slats' Slattery. "But it appears I still can" quickly interjected Bob 'Kraut' Kluge. "I brought Titan back from a love-three deficit in the final set to a (5-4 partial) lead before I had to put the bus back in gear." "But that second set bagel (0-6) we served TennisTitan and Jose 'SpinMaster' Guzman was scrumptious, was it not, 'Slats,' continued Der Klugemeister. "Especially after the two of them appeared to wake up late in the first set (3-6) and make a run at us" said 'Slats.' "I will be better prepared for your game next time" opined the 'grinning Guzman." "I was a tad late with my back hand most of the morning, but when we meet again I will more quickly go to Plan B." "And what will Plan A be, pray tell" asked 'Slats.' "Obviously, not to partner with the Titan" retorted the 'SpinMaster.'

Tuesday, August 06, 2013

'Kraut' and 'Krap'

"The bus driver had a flat today and totally lost control."

Salvage Crew

"We all knew where 'this blog was going' once Bob didn't hold serve in the second set. Titan, you're always good for a laugh on the tennis court, but not much else."

"Come on. I'm here two hours already."

"Listening to these guys bark at each other makes me feel at home. Tennis players are pack animals too."

In Need of a Bus Monitor

"Kraut, you took your hand off the wheel in that second set" commented a disappointed TennisTitan to his bus driving partner.  "We managed to eke out that first set (6-4) victory through grit and determination but lost our edge when we needed you to be razor sharp in the second (3-6), (2-2 partial)" continued the 'bloated blowhard.' "Need I remind you," 'lethargic libertine,' that with that scraggly growth on your face, you wouldn't know razor sharp if you middle name was Gillette' retorted  the 'testy Teuton.' "But, Bob your game is predicated on power, not just on your returns, but on a potent first serve too. Where was it today... at the depot?" "Bob, I think I know where the blog is going based on the 'whines from the wimp" interjected Frank 'Slats' Slattery. "Titan, you have a crappy attitude" teased Joe 'Gimpy Knees' Cruz. You walk Tully for 45 minutes at another park before we play so he takes his dump and sits quietly on the sidelines. Then what do we get from you? At best, you walk after the ball, play like shit, and never shut up. Do you get the irony of it all."