Thursday, December 27, 2007

"An Extra Hour is Never FREE with TT"

"You with the camera. You fit the description of Santa Claus. Where were you on Monday night?"

Ho, Ho, Ho ... bah humbug!

"That last set was a belated Christmas Gift for 'King Gene' and his little elf 'Rockin' Rick.

Christmas Vacation Maneuvers

"Cousin Gene will rub my nose in this for months Titan. The third set is about heart you always say. Okay, you won that set with him. But from now on my partner in the fourth set will be Dr. Heimlich, not the TennisTitan that is for damn sure!" fumed Frank 'Slats' Slattery at the conclusion of play at the Yonkers Tennis Center. TT/'Slats' had just dropped a heart breaker to Gene 'King' Slattery and 'Rockin' Rick Ricci (8-10) to end three hours of doubles play. Up 5-1 in the final set TT/'Slats' just couldn't reel it in and saw their lead turn into a 5-6 deficit before extending play for another 30 minutes. Titan had a strong day on the court using his guile and lobbing ability in all four sets before tiring late in the match. The 'boisterous bloviator'and 'RRR' came back from 2-5 in the opener before dropping set 1 (4-6) to the cousins from Dobbs Ferry. The second set had TT/'Slats' run rough shod over 'King' and an over matched 'Rockin' Rick (6-2). 'Bloated Behemoth' and My Liege held on for a (6-4) victory over 'Slats'/'RRR' in the third set. As an omen of things to come, TT saw a 5-1 lead shrink to 5-4 before icing the set. As the boys met at net the foursome all commented on the high level of today's play when 'Rockin Rick' interjected, 'Titan, this was some fun tennis. The King and I won our $5/man bet against you guys that last set." The 'King' smiled and said "They may make musicals about me Titan, but let's just say, I gave you a Royal Flush to ease the pain you must have in your throat right about now." Cousin 'Slats' quipped "Hey, we all won. TennisTitan had prepaid for two hours of court time when we played a solid three hours on a rainy day in Yonkers. As far as I'm concerned this fat bearded, bespectacled guy is Santa Claus!"

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Vladimir 'The Russkie' Kartsev

"Titan, in the USSR, there was no shortage of scientists, just barbers."

Herbie 'The Love Bug' Engle

"Titan, you make me feel young again... but please don't run me over."

Another 'Odd Couple'

"One of us was a Beetles fan, the other a Sinatra devotee. Can you guess?"

Das Vidanya, Vladimir

TennisTitan was joined by a subbing Herbie 'Love Bug' Engle as his partner this date at the Yonkers Tennis Center. TT/Love Bug competed admirably against 'Big Al' DioDati and an also subbing Vladimir 'The Russkie' in two evenly played sets. Titan and 'LB' rallied from 4-5 down to take the opener (7-5). The second set was incomplete at 4-4 when time was called. Titan played two strong sets limiting his unforced errors to a handful and kept The Love Bug in most points. Indeed, many points were decided by Herb's play at net, either put-away volleys or shanks. 'Russkie' plays a solid game from the back court, possesses an adequate forehand and utilizes his relative quickness well. 'Big Al'/'Russkie' wisely chose to play the short angles or hit at the feet of the Ardsley octogenarian. As the foursome met at net Vladimir opined, "Mr. Titan, my government was fearful of America's missile bearing your name. I have no such problem with that misguided rocket that you call 'your serve'!" Herbie quipped, "this Love Bug is more afraid of being squashed by the out-of-control running of the 'bloated behemoth' on the court!" To wit 'Big Al' observed, "TennisTitan, - run? Bug Man, you're just not old, you're delusional."

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

"We once played Ponce de Leon"

"Titan, we're looking for that 'Fountain of Youth' too!"


"Titan, who the hell do you think you are...Ponce De Leon? The Yonkers Tennis Center is your Fountain of Youth!'' chorused Tom 'Mick' Ahern, Herbie 'The Love Bug' Engle and the 'Lean, Lanky Lefty' - Ed Gordon at the conclusion of today's play. The 'bloated behemoth', at least 15 years junior than any one in this venerable trio, could do no wrong this date. The 'boisterous bloviator' paired in the first two sets with the 'Love Bug' and dominated 'Triple L' and the 'Mick' (6-1, 6-1). TT did not bring pop to his game today, wishing instead to hone his placement serve and precision returns, both in the doubles allies and down the seam against men no more mobile than he. Talk about slow motion tennis! Set three saw TennisTitan pair with fellow Irishman Tom 'Mick' Ahern against the Semitic duo. "The Jews didn't win this war" commented the 'egotistical ego maniac' at the conclusion of another (6-1) thrashing authored by the 'bullshitting blogger' with the "Map of Ireland" at his side. "I was born in Bally Knock, Ireland many years ago" said Ahern at net as the boys met for pictures. "Gees, remarked the 'Lean, Lanky, Lefty,' I thought a "Tom-Tom" was a global positioning device for your car." "Not so" quipped the 'Love Bug' - "Today, "Tom-Tom" meant the TennisTitan was everywhere on the court!"

Thursday, December 06, 2007

"The Son took Both Sets"

"Hello, is this Elias?... No, I wanted the Elias Sports Bureau."

Was it 'The Sun or The Son?"

"It really was 'no sweat' in other ways of course."

"I retired from school... nah"

"Hmm, how can I explain this one?"

Was it "The Sun?" or "The Son?"

"The sun set on your game long before I dropped the hammer on you in the second set," chirped Jeff 'Big Daddy' Briscoe in the twilight at Dallas White Park in Northport Fl. That scion of sarcasm was reminding his ol' man that his first set (3-6) victory over the TennisTitan in the glare of the setting sun was as satisfying as the (1-6) dismantling of the 'bombastic bloviator' in the embers of daylight. The 'bloated behemoth' played well - sans any jump to the ball - in the two set affair that was played in late afternoon. TT was unable to threaten the agile attorney in the critical break point opportunities that the 'immobile minotaur' was able to generate. The disappointed senior member of the Briscoe fraternity of tennis players remarked, "Jeff, you ran down my supposed winners a lot quicker than any of your creditors chased you down - and you had success!" The victorious progeny retorted, "Pops, as they say in bankruptcy procedures 'them's the breaks'! Titan commented as pictures were taken, "at least I made you sweat" to wit the barrister countered, "physically maybe, but not figuratively!"

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Grouper Basket

The Titan made his maiden appearance this winter season at the Phillips Park Tennis Courts. To his great surprise and pleasure he was invited to participate in an excellent doubles game subbing for a departing player. TennisTitan paired with Ron 'Michigander' Van Dyke in the first set against Kim 'Along Came' Jones and Joanne 'First Mate' Van Dyke. Trailing 2-5 the 'bombastic bloviator' pulled his game together to support 'Michigander' in an effort that just fell short at (4-6). Titan played along side of 'First Mate' whose game is FIRST RATE in the second and third sets. The 'immobile minotaur' did his part in assisting the waitress at Capt. Con's restaurant to victories (6-3, 6-4) over her hubby and Kim. As the foursome met at net TT remarked, "Too bad I forgot my camera." First Mate commented, "Too bad you don't have a serve! If I served as badly as you at Captain Con's I'd lose my job."

Sunday, December 02, 2007

The 'Blowhard' with 'I Try Hard' Pratt

"Georgie, you are going to have to repeat this grade - your effort today was incomplete."

'Buffalo Bob' Smith

"Titan, how come I had to play with that clown!?"

Nancy 'Teacherette' Pratt

"Titan, I so enjoyed taking my husband to school with you."

Hey kids, it's HOWDY DOOTY time

"Titan, didn't you mean to say "clear as a bell" queried Nancy 'Teacherette' Pratt at the conclusion of their two set match at the Tarpon Sail and Tennis Club. "No way" retorted the TennisTitan," "These guys remind me of clowns on the court against us, Nancy." The 'bombastic bloviator' had just helped put the spark back in the marriage of the 'Teacherette' and her husband, George 'Genealogist' Pratt with their (6-4, 6-1) spanking this morning. A befuddled Bob Smith, the 'Genealogist's partner in this debacle, lamented as the foursome left the court. "Titan, I'll gladly accept the moniker of 'Buffalo Bob' Smith in your write up of our performance. But please call George 'Clarabell the Clown.' All he can do is honk on the court anyway. His racquet doesn't do the talking for him, that's for sure. And consider yourself the Mayor of Doodyville off your fine performance today. Phineas T. Bluster has nothing on you. Because that's what your tennis game mostly is: BLUSTER!"

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Titan with Genealogist

"George, are you ready to be swept?"

The Price of Victory

"Hey Titan, get up or I'm going to SWEEP YOU!"

Prate Falls?

"Well, Georgie, maybe your surname does fit you" teased the TennisTitan upon completion of his three set sweep of George "Genealogist' Pratt this morning at the Tarpon Tennis and Sail Club in Tarpon Springs, Fl. The 'bloated behemoth' started his Southern Senior Tour on a decidedly upbeat note grinding out victories in sets two and three against the better conditioned athlete. Pratt, who can trace his lineage back to the Mayflower group of pilgrims apparently had no tennis players in the family tree. The Titan, who proudly traces his conception back to a case of Schaffer Beer and a Victory-over-Japan celebration in the summer of 1945, must have had some brush with Don Budge, Bill Tilden or Fred Perry in a past life. How else can you explain TT surviving 7 break points in the first set and coming away with a (6-2) result. Maybe the word is Pratt fails, not prate falls! Set two was especially tough for the 'boisterous blowhard' when a determined 'Genealogist' made his mark early on, breaking the 'blogging bullshitter' twice, to be on serve at four games a piece. Enter the dragon. Your Titan came up with the goods breaking the 'Genealogist' in a triple deuce game and then serving out the set (6-4). The weary combatants signed on for a third set that had TT's 85 year-old host Harry Cardon commenting from the nearby bench, "What's this, 'slo-mo' tennis? I can run as fast as you two bums. I want winners!" Again, it was gut check time for the 'whining warrior' who squeaked out a love-forty game to break in the seventh game and ran the table to an impressive (6-3) victory. A disgusted 'Genealogist' remarked as the 'immobile minotaur' left the court. "Doubles tomorrow. We'll see if you are a 'bloviating braggart' when my wife is your partner!" (Great pictures to be uploaded at a later time.)

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

'RRR' 'See No Evil'

"Titan, I'm lucky to see the ball strike my racquet. You can't expect me to watch the lines too."

Yossi 'Hear No Evil'

"Titan, what happened in the third set? You go on vacation early??"

My oh Myopia!

"Titan is this anyway to say goodbye" queried 'Rockin' Rick Ricci who was rocked by the TennisTitan at the YTC this morning. The 'bloated behemoth' paired with Hanibal the 'Caballero' against 'RRR' and Yossi 'Israeli Time' Newman. Titan was precise with his groundies and lobs leading the way to a (6-0) clobbering of his opponents in the first set. With the teams remaining the same for the second set the 'bombastic blowhard'/'Caballero' had to pull out all stops to prevail (7-5) in an unexpectedly close contest that was significantly aided by the blown calls of his nearsighted opponents. 'RRR's errant call in game eight was a momentum changing mistake. TT/'Caballero' persevered making sure that no ball struck by them would go near the line as they rallied from a 4-5 deficit. The third set was a near complete with TT/'IT' being routed by 'RRR'/'Caballero 0-5 when time expired. The 'immobile minotaur' had run out of gas just as 'Israeli Time' imploded. As the boys met at net 'RRR' chided the 'boisterous bullshitter,' "Titan, I'd take umbrage at your criticism of my eyesight if I knew what the word meant. I figured I'd use it anyway because I worked at the New York Times for forty years and saw it in the paper many times." TT rejoined "I'll be playing in Florida for a couple of weeks, I doubt they use that word in the Fort Myers News-Press but I'll check."

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

TennisTitan with his Turkeys


"Titan, Ground Hog Day was one of my favorite movies. Who knew that it applies to tennis also," philosophized the business mogul of White Plains, Yossi 'Israeli Time' Newman upon completion of play at the YTC this morning. 'IT' was beaming that he and the 'bloated behemoth' had closed out the final set with a (6-3) thumping of Ed 'LLL' Gordon and the estimable Hanibal the 'Caballero.' Just as yesterday, play opened up with Triple L teaming with 'Israeli Time' to face the harder hitting Argentinian Horseman and the 'bloviating blowhard' in a futile attempt (6-2) to quiet the 'blogging bullshitter.' Titan's second set with the Lean, Lanky, Lefty at his side was also a near reprise of yesterday's bagel (1-6). As the boys met at net to wish each other "Happy Thanksgiving" Yossi remarked, "A- Rod took some advice from my friend Warren to get back with the Yankees. Titan, now it is your turn for some counsel. 'Even I do not have enough money to pay for the lessons you would need to be the truly dominant player you already think you are. So don't waste yours on lessons! I thank Yahweh every time we play that even though he has diminished my sight (a minus against you), he has also limited my hearing (a plus against you) and given me the Midas touch at net and in real estate!" "Shalom" (picture to be uploaded at later time)

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

O'Reilly 'Dogs It' during blog

"Titan is my master in the house. I hope you are his master on the court. He 'dogs it' standing up, I know better."

"What's to be Thankful for?"

How about:
1) Playing on a rainy day
2) Going to Florida next week
3) Guys like you tolerate my crap
4) Readers that 'get' this blog. YOU

Language Lesson

"Ah, Titan, can I suggest some 'L's' for you?" opined Ed 'LLL' Gordon upon completion of play at the YTC this morning. Perhaps, lethargic, lugubrious, lassitude, languid for your better educated readers. But LOUD, LAZY and LOSER is what even the illiterate would know about you! The 'bloated behemoth' joined with mates Yossi 'Israeli Time' Newman, 'Lean, Lanky, Lefty Ed Gordon and Hanibal the 'Caballero' for some indoor tennis on a raw, rainy, Tuesday in Yonkers. TT paired with the 'Argentinian Horseman' in the first two sets and finessed his way to convincing (6-4, 6-1) victories. Hanibal was way off in his game, and with the 'egomaniacal egotist' keeping his foot off the gas, these two imbalanced sets were closer than anticipated. 'LLL's outburst was no doubt triggered by the bagel (0-6) administered to him by 'IT'/'Caballero' with the 'immobile minotaur' at his side. The fourth set ended 4-3 (on serve) emboldening the often Three Time Loser (LLL) to live in hope, only to die in despair. As the boys met at net Hanibal commented, "Titan, muy boca grande, pero mas talento pequeno." 'Israeli Time' queried, "Hanibal, did you tell the Titan, 'putting the key in the ignition is not enough - you must first have gas in the tank and then step on the accelerator!"

Saturday, November 17, 2007

The Prophet

"Titan, I told you 'it would be a cold day in hell when your mates show the same commitment you do to Saturday tennis."

One and Done

"Titan, hadn't you planned to call the blog 'Won and Done.' Guess that'll be for another day," snickered Frank 'Slats' Slattery at the completion of today's play at Kinsley. 'Slats,' with team mate George 'Chemist' Hauss had just come back to win their second set of the day (5-7) against the 'bellicose blowhard' and his partner Mike 'Not so' Stella. Indeed it was a disappointing morning at the yard for the 'blogging bullshitter' who waited patiently for more than one hour for the first set to be completed to get any action in. 'Slats'/'Chemist' had prevailed (7-6, 12-10) in their first set against 'Big Al' DioDati and Carl 'Speedy Legs' Gessman. Titan, never a fan of Mamby-Pamby Tennis, wherein a 5th person sits out until an on-court team wins a "first to four" set, now understands the meaning of 'fair weather friends.' 'Big Al'/'Speedy Legs' beat a hasty retreat out of the 40 degree temperatures unwilling to do as TT had done. A somewhat reluctant 'Stella Fella' came out of his car to brave the cold and pair with the 'bloated behemoth' in a set that slipped away. Stella volleys went awry in the 11th and 12th games and Titan lived up to his 'immobile minotaur' moniker attempting to swat at balls too cold to bounce with legs too achy to bend. As the boys met at net Titan bristled, "Boys your commitment to the game is not picture-worthy today." 'Slats' commented "Now we know why Carl wants to be known as 'Speedy,' rather than 'Spindly Legs." Mike pleaded, "Titan, can't you upgrade me to 'Occasionally' Stella off my play in the first part of the set today? 'Chemist'/'Slats' chortled, "We got to go now, our wives don't want us sick for Thanksgiving - but make sure everyone knows we're winners."

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Minions at my Beck and Call

"Boys, first you roll for me. Then I ROLL for YOU!

More Arrogant than Ever

"Dear Reader, 'It was my day! I could've even won with YOU.' I'm playing lotto tonight!"

"Paid the Price"

"Titan the day you take me to school is the day I retire as a teacher." ... "And the day I resemble a turn style is the day you call me E-Z Pass... Hey, I don't want to give you any ideas - forget I said that."

The Great Imposter

"No Titan, it was YOU who were on a roll" commented 'Rockin' Rick Ricci and George 'Chemist' Hauss upon completion of play this morning at Kinsley. The 'bumbling buffoon' had just capped off and incredible week on the courts. 'Mr. 'My Legs Hurt' competed at a high level (for the Titan) in the 15 sets of doubles played over the past six days. TennisTitan, still reeling from 'Chemist's email earlier in the week demanding to know why the 'bloated blowhard' did not show up at Kinsley on Sat. the 3rd, called said Chemist at 8 AM awakening him and assuring the Bunsen Burner that TT would be on the court shortly, with roller, broom and squeegee. An intrepid 'Rockin' Rick and a incredulous George 'Teacher' Febles were next on the speed dial and the foursome was set. The 'blogging bullshitter' supervised his minions in insuring the wet court would be suitable for play before stepping on to captivate a disbelieving Joe 'Gimpy Knees' Cruz in the spectators bench with an incredible display of near flawless tennis. Titan and 'Rockin' Rick romped to a (6-2) victory over the Georges in the opener. The 'immobile minotaur' split the Georges on the court with lasers down the middle more often the Einstein split the atom. The 'bombastic bloviator' continued that dominance in the second and third sets when pairing with the 'Chemist' in twin (6-3, 6-3) crushings of 'RRR'/'Teacher.' 'Rockin' looked like a subway turn style as TT's balls whizzed down the alley for winner after winner. The 'Teacher' was taken to school with Titan's precise forehand to the backhand corner or the deadly twist on the lob to the opposite corner. As the boys met at net to hear the 'ego maniacal egotist' preen 'Gimpy Knees' shouted through the fencing, "That's not the Titan I know. That mouth sounded the same, but the shot execution today tells me he's an imposter."

Friday, November 09, 2007

"Yossi, did you date Golda Meir?'

Titan... be careful. I know people in the Mosad.

Meshuggah? TT, you're crazy

"Titan, today I'll pose. I do know Ben Gay, not Ben Gurion."

Hanibal the 'Caballero'

"Titan, remember 'I rode you to victory' not the other way around.

Moshe Dyan, he ain't

"Titan, thank God there are no Arabs here" said Yossi 'Israeli Time' Newman at the completion of the fourth and final set played this morning at the Yonkers Tennis Center. 'Israeli Time' had just completed the super trifecta dropping his 4th consecutive set, this time at the side of the 'bullshitting blogger.' Yet the 'bombastic blowhard' was trumpeting his (3-6) defeat as a victory greater than the Six Day War of '67. TT's grabbing two games when down 1-5 gave the 'egomaniacal egotist' this days bragging rights, in that Yossi was trounced as Stan 'The Man' Scher's partner (6-2) in the opener when competing against Hanibal the 'Caballero'/TennisTitan. Mixing it up for sets two and three the 'bloated behemoth' joined with Stan 'The Man' and orchestrated a symphony of well executed lobs intermixed with lasers that found the middle seam with uncanny accuracy. Stanley used all his tools. He was deft at net and precise with his groundies. More importantly for the 'immobile minotaur' 'ToolMan' is indefatigable and able to cover those inevitable lobs over TT's head. The upshot: resounding (6-2, 6-1) thumpings of 'Israeli Time'/'Caballero'. As the boys met at net Yossi rationalized, "Thank God, Israelis may lose on the tennis ourt, but not on the battle field." The Argentinian Horseman quipped "Yossi, we could've used you in the Falklands in '82. Stanley commented, "Titan, are you meshuggah? I am Jewish too!"

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Tennis Cronies

"Hey Titan, we're happy you show up. We need FOUR. You still don't need to shout 'fore' with your serve."

'EBL' the Realist

"Titan, I'd kill you at golf too. Stick to tennis. There's no place for a mouth like yours on the fairway, only the midway!"

Max 'the Philosopher'

"Titan, I paid 80 cents for this bottle of water. And I dumped it accidentally on the court short of the net... Just like my volley.

Philosophically Speaking...

"Titan, the effort was there, just not the ability. Perhaps you should consider golf. We all know you've got a handicap to begin with!" Titan had just carouseled through his Thursday afternoon group at the Yonkers Tennis Center and was receiving the unsolicited advice from all three of his partners as they gathered at net. TT paired with Bill 'Energizer Bunny Legs' Tully in the opener and the tandem eased to a (6-2) victory over Jim Addiss 'Abada' and Max 'Tutor' Tuckman. The 'belching bloviator's efforts as 'Abada's partner were insufficient to undo the superior court coverage of 'EBL' (3-6) with support from the 'Tutor' as necessary in the second set. TT/'Abada' dropped the last three games of the set that had been closely contested until 'EBL' started to dominate on cross court rallies with the 'immobile minotaur.' 'Tutor' and the 'bombastic blowhard' trailed 1-3 partial as time expired. At net 'EBL' opined, "Titan, you've got bad knees. Why punish yourself playing three, four times a week." Without missing a beat 'Tutor' quipped, "Bill are you crazy? Titan's punishing us by playing in our game once a week." Jim rejoined, "And what's this Addiss Abada crap? Halie Selassie wasn't on Ethiopia's Davis Cup team. He's playing Ryder Cup. "

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

"Herb earned a new name today."

"Titan, your reference to an inane contemporary movie is so much more fitting than one to classical literature. Wouldn't you agree, dear reader?"

Athos, Aramis, Porthos...?

"Okay Titan, you had your fun on the court now go waste more of your time at that (Alexander)Dumas keyboard."

The Love Bug

"Titan, you don't bug me. I love the way you communicate wih your partner on the court," so rejoiced Herb (formerly) 'Over Matched' Engle at the conclusion of play at the Yonkers Tennis Center this morning. The 'bombastic blowhard' had fulfilled a promise made to himself at the beginning of play that he would play as necessary so that 'OM' would not go home an 'L-L-L,' a three set loser. No, TT had already coronated the Lean, Lanky Lefty, Ed Gordon with that appellation. To his chagrin the 'immobile minotaur' was paired with Yossi 'Israeli Time' Newman in the first set against 'LLL'/'OM.' For some reason the older, less mobile, less powerful tandem thought that they would have a chance if TT played with 'IT.' Happily, 'Israeli Time' was broken immediately and the under-powered adversaries got off to a quick two-love start. TennisTitan kept his foot off the gas and used his folly-floater exclusively in the (6-2) trouncing that was soon administered. The second set saw 'OM' join the 'bullshitting blogger' in a fun, 50 minute marathon against a determined Gordon-Newman team. Titan continued to use his second serve exclusively and stepped it up on defense, covering for 'Over Matched' as necessary on the baseline, and charging the net occasionally. The upshot - a come from behind (7-5) victory that had Herbie chortling when time was called during the third set (2-3 partial, on serve). The 80 year old Engle quipped at picture time, "Titan, I haven't tasted a victory so sweet since I hit a trifecta at Yonkers in '66." To wit the 'pathetic panderer' retorted, "Herbie, today, with me at your side, 'you were no longer 'Over Matched!' I dub thee "Herbie the LOVE BUG!"

Monday, November 05, 2007

The Horseman with his Steed

"I'll never know if the "Caballero" would have rode me to victory in the third set."

Stan 'The Man' Scher

"So I was camera avoidant today. Did it ever occur to you that I had something better to do. Use your archived photos bozo!"

Camera Shy?

"Titan, we finally had 'em on the ropes. It was they who were saved by the bell" chirped Hanibal the 'Caballero' as he and TT left the courts with the third set hanging in the balance. It was a morning of first class recreational doubles played at the Yonkers Tennis Center between teams with contrasting styles. Opposing 'Caballero'/TT were Stan 'The Man' Scher and 'Rockin' Rick Ricci. The ebb and flow of the three sets was notable. Each team had its runs and many points involved rallies of 20 balls or more with few games not going to deuce. TT could not believe that 'Caballero'/Titan had dug themselves into a 1-4 hole in the opener before getting in sync to hotly contest the first set (3-6). In set one 'Caballero's firepower was matched by 'The Man.' 'RRR' was equally adept at net negating Hanibal's mobility. Titan's lobs were effective but the 'bloated behemoth' lacked pop on the serve and pace on his groundies. Set two belonged to 'Caballero'/Titan ( 6-0) as they both hit bigger and more consistently than their opponents. Still, most games featured well played points and were competitive. Set three was a reprise of the entire match. To their great credit, 'RRR'/'The Man' held in the five-deuce opening game, then broke the Argentinian Horseman to gain the upper hand. The 'immobile minotaur' came up big in the fourth game to end 'RRR's/Man's run at three and turn the tide. Down 3-4, on serve, the 'bombastic blowhard' had just stepped to the service line when play was called. Stan, refusing to have his picture taken at net, hustled off to the locker room. The usually camera shy 'Caballero' exclaimed, "Titan, today I will pose with you. I know that the camera is your tool. I think Scher's afraid that you'll call him Stanley Tools again!"

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

"We Let One Get Away."

"Hey, you think it is easy to carry this 'blowhard' for two sets? Titan's a load!"

Bill 'Electro Lux' Ching

The name is 'Ching,' not Chan - even Sidney Tolar screwed up once in awhile as Charlie Chan!

'Lil Papi' and the 'Neck'

"Titan, we're like the two guys in the middle of the Red Sox batting order, rallying from behind."

Joba Time Revisited

"Titan, in baseball they would call this a 'blown save." So commented Bill 'Electro Lux' Ching upon completion of his two sets as TennisTitan' doubles partner at Kinsley this date. TT/'Electro Lux' came out very strong in the opener, routing John the 'Neck' Manzi and 'Lil Papi' (6-0) in under 30 minutes. TT had it all working the entire afternoon. Lobbing the lines effectively and hitting flat down the middle the 'boisterous blowhard' complimented 'Electro Lux' fine work at net in the first set and one-half. Down 1-3 in the second set the 'immobile minotaur' led the charge to level the second set at five. Inexplicably the Ching volley suffered a complete meltdown in the eleventh and twelfth games. SuperBillie Boy Ching dumped his returns into the net at crunch time leading to a disappointing (5-7) loss. As the foursome met at net, 'Neck' Manzi remarked, 'Lil Papi' played like Big Papi in that second set. An unhappy SuperBillie Boy retorted, "John, you hit more balls off the frame for winners than Manny Ramirez has dreadlocks." TennisTitan chirped "Electro Lux, you sound like a Yankee fan. Was it flying bugs that caused you to choke at the net?"

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Herb 'Over Matched' Engle

"Titan, haven't you ever had a bad day on the court?"

Wait'll next week

"Herb gets high marks for choosing not to be my partner today."

Trying to Get My Money's Worth

TennisTitan joined three of his mates for four sets of doubles at the Yonkers Tennis Center. Titan paired with Hanibal the 'Caballero' for two sets, and with 'Rockin Rick' Ricci for the other two. Opposing TT in all four sets was a newbie to the morning group - Herb 'Over Matched' Engle. None of the sets was particularly competitive. Herb could not support his partner well enough to threaten his opponents' serve or hold on his own. TT/'Caballero' won (6-2, 6-1) and TT/'RRR' rolled to (6-2, 6-2) victories. As the group met at net 'Rockin ' Rick opined, "At least it only cost us $12 a piece and we played for two hours. 'Caballero' said "And there is no tax." To wit TennisTitan riposted "Tax? Who could be taxed in a game played at this speed?" 'Over Matched' quipped, "Titan, next week when we play, I'll insist that YOU be my partner... then we'll call it an exercise tax, not an excise tax!"

Friday, October 26, 2007

Thrift Brothers

"We only play this early because the YTC gives us a cheaper rate."

Don Carmoody

"Titan, I'm more impressed that you can spell 'shillelagh' than with you tennis. You need 'spell check' for your first serve.

Rise and Shine?

"Well Titan, you were half right anyway. You may have risen but I sure didn't see any luster on your game" so critiqued Tony 'No Baloney' Guido this morning upon completion of play at the YTC. The 'bloated behemoth' had set the alarm for 5:30 AM to be able to function for his 7:30 return to his indoor morning group for the first time since last spring. Having played 90 minutes of intense doubles yesterday in a more challenging game the 'bloviating bullshitter' had great difficulty getting that tired ass, that sits upon those throbbing legs, that work those tender knees moving so he could get out of the house on time. The daily dose of 5 cups of coffee still jump starts the neuromuscular system but fails to improve accuracy on the first serve or follow through on the back hand down the line. TennisTitan paired with the Shillelagh Man, Don Carmoody in the first set against 'NoBaloney' and the 'Lean, Lanky, Lefty' Ed Gordon. 'Shillelagh Man/TT prevailed (6-2). TT/'LLL' got off to a 3-1 lead in set 2 before charitable giving set in leading to their (4-6) defeat. 'LLL' with Carmoody was well on his way to completing his usual trifecta down 2-5 love 30 to TT/'NB' when the clock ran out. At picture time TT opined to Guido, "Tony, my game is not supposed to have any shine, or luster as you call it. I come here primarily to take pictures after I run my mouth on the court to get the coffee out of my system. And I always use a digital camera, so no matte (dull) finish. Playing tennis is incidental to my enjoyment."

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Colorful, if nothing else.

"Have you ever seen the map of Ireland on a man's face?"

Fair Warning

"John, it might take a few weeks but you'll eventually get used to him."

"You exhaust me Titan"

"Titan, on day's I play with you, I really appreciate that I married a nurse."

No Substitute for the Truth

"Titan, I hope you didn't pay first class - your game surely didn't match that cost - maybe economy, as in your movement toward the ball" so commented Bill 'Energizer Bunny Legs' to the 'bullshitting bloviator' upon completion of today's play at the Yonkers Tennis Center. TT was delighted to be back on the court for the first time in three weeks when invited to substitute for Roy 'Mr Spin' Marzullo late last night. At court side the 'bombastic bloviator' whined that he shouldn't have to pay to play because he flew home early from Florida to help the group out. TennisTitan was exposed as a prevaricator almost as easily as opponents uncover weaknesses in his game. In set 1 Titan paired with fellow substitute John "I.R.A." Meehan in a (4-6) loss to 'EBL' and Jim Addiss 'Abada.' The tandem of 'EBL'/'Abada' had their hands full unexpectedly as Meehan made mayhem late in the set with fine all court play to make this set highly competitive and entertaining. Set 2 saw a reshuffling of the teams without any diminishment in quality of play or competitiveness. TT/'EBL' were attempting to serve it out at (5-4 partial) when time expired. As TT was explaining the blog to 'I Run for Anything' at picture time, Meehan opined, "Titan, you should fly stand-by." EBL quipped, "Don't remind me, playing with Titan, one needs double air miles to justify the expenditure of energy." 'Abada' expounded, "We can't trust TT's line calls because we caught him in a lie, but at least Titan always seems to know the score!"

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Cold Turkey

TennisTitan has been without a game for near three weeks. Will any of my readers "step up" and fulfill a need? I am back in New York the night of Tuesday Oct 23. Won't you be my World Series opponent on Wednesday afternoon 10/24 at Kinsley or Amackassin? Or will I have to wait to my next scheduled match at the YTC on Friday morning 10/26.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

"Titan Survives a Tough One."

"Georgie, I tip my cap to you for playing, given the circumstances."

"Who's this Charles Darwin, Titan?"

"Genealogy is a lot less tiring."

"How Do You Like Me Now!"

"Well, I can't really say 'survival of the fittest."

Country Bumpkins

'TennisTitan, 'Live Free or Die' should be our motto in this heat and humidity" so said George 'Genealogist' Pratt upon completion of his two sets against the 'bloated behemoth' played in oppressive conditions. The Titan, on a three week sojourn in the Sunshine State, connected with George this date at the Tarpon Sail and Tennis Club before the Pratts headed for a wedding in the Granite State this weekend. Titan tipped his cap (Toby Keith hat) to this stalwart opponent who agreed to the match on short notice; he not having played singles since the last time the 'bloviating bullshitter' blew through Tarpon Springs earlier this year. Titan got off to a quick start (4-0) in set 1 before the 'Genealogist' got his strokes down and began to successfully move 'Two-Ton-Tommy' around the court. The remaining fourteen games were evenly contested with the 'boisterous blowhard' surviving at (6-2, 6-4). As the combatants met at net Titan opined 'Georgie, I have no doubt that had we played a third (set) you surely would taken me." The quick-footed, and equally quit-witted boy from Kansas retorted, "Titan, I lost five pounds of water weight these past ninety minutes, if I played another set my wife would have to put me in a pine box in the cargo hold on the plane to New Hampshire. As it is, I just need my head examined!" (pictures to be uploaded later).

Saturday, September 29, 2007

'Hot Dog' with 'Kraut'

"Psst, about the Titan, I think he's dumber than a hand truck too."

'Rockin' (2-6, 7-5, 1-6) and 'King'

"We should have beaten you all three sets."

'Speedy Legs' with 'Not ESPN"

"Titan, we swear: losing to you is a good thing. It gives us a reason to drink."

Half a Loaf

"Tommy Boy, I told you my father was a baker but he wouldn't have anything to do with bagels," proclaimed Bob 'Kraut' Kluge upon completion of his second set with TennisTitan. Der Klugemeister had held his service at 0-5 to avert the shutout (1-6) against 'Rockin' Rick Ricci and Gene 'King' Slattery. The 'bloated behemoth'/'Kraut' had captured their first set against 'RRR'/'King' (7-5). The weary 'immobile minotaur' had replicated his results obtained earlier in the day as 'Happy Jack' Carey's partner; first against 'RRR/'King' Gene (2-6) and then against Carl 'Speedy Legs' Gessman and Stuart 'not Espn' Scott (7-5) at Kinsley in windy conditions. As the foursome met at net King remarked, "Kraut, you look quite fit, what with you having to load and unload cases upon cases of Pepsi on your truck route out in Chicago." Quipped 'Rockin,' "Not fit enough to carry the 'Over-Stuffed Avocado' he had as a partner today." 'Union rules!' rejoined 'Kraut,' "no loads wider than the hand-truck, no egos bigger than a two liter, all items must be able to return, not be readily broken, and served to the public in a timely fashion. That's not the Titan."

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Mike 'Canuck' Edwards

"Titan, in my country, they would call you "Les Midget, eh?"