Thursday, December 30, 2010

The Shamrock Club

'NY USA' - Not Your Usual Senior Athletes.' We all played spectacularly well, even you, goumbah Al, now take the picture."

Tom-Toms were pounding today.

"I'm using the BLARNEY STONE in tonight's blog"

This NY GIANT didn't choke

"I might have to straighten him out if he does that again."

"Trolly derailed, Stallion broken!"

"Yeah, Titan, I am exhausted. But you had very little to do with it. And don't be using the Auld Lang Syne theme again."

An Irish Lullaby

"Toora loora toora loo-rye-aye" the 'boorish baseliner' cackled at 'Big Al' Diodati as the foursome left the fileld of play. "In Ireland our match would be classified as a donnybrook" contributed Titan's partner, Tom 'Fireman' Conaty. "Hey, Titan is from McLean Heights in southeast Yonkers. This was a bar fight outside of Rory Dolan's as far as he's concerned" quickly interjected an eneravated Bill 'Energizer Bunny Legs' Tully. "Nah, not Rory's" snapped a disgusted 'Italian Stallion. "I know this 'pusillanimous pecuniary' for 20 years now, no way he'd drink anywhere there is a cover charge. He's strictly Blarney Stone material." "Be nice, Al, I contributed the balls today, didn't I. I booked both dates to play indoors this week as always, didn't I. I let you team with the two Irishmen you most like to play with and with whom you regularly beat me, didn't I," retorted the 'bloated blowhard.' 'EBL' sheepishly replied, "but neither 'Slats' nor I could get the job done." "But I thought we were going to play two sets" remarked the 'Fireman.' "Tommy boy, quipped the 'jocular jester' take it from me, we played three. When I play 20 games against 'Big Al'/'EBL' every other Thursday it's usually (0-6, 1-6, 1-6) in the blog. (11-9) has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? "Titan you can steer my truck anytime. Your serve had more heat on it than a two alarmer" responded Conaty. "I just didn't want to see 9-11, it's a bad memory." 'Big Al' sighed and said, "Now I know why men of the FDNY are the "bravest." "You get stuck with 'lumbering loud-mouths."

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Fun Foursome Frolics

"Hey, Pat. Now let me give you some 'coaching.' Having fun at the game we all love is our number one priority. I am just trying to do my part in a unique way with the blog."

Timely Advice from Fred,- er, Pat.

"George, when you play with a guy with a howitzer, let him use it. Your job today is strictly 'support.'

I like Mr. Rogers' neighborhood!

"Titan, you are so much more talented than these guys. Control each game with your booming serve and laser returns. Forget the 'folly floater' today."

"C'mon, Give the Devil his due, Slats."

"Okay, you got what you wanted. But I'm not gonna say 'uncle.' Matter of fact, I blame my 'el foldo' today on this stupid Giants Hat."

The Tinsel and Garland

"Titan, I see Santa brought you an accurate 'big serve' this Christmas" commented Frank 'Slats' Slattery at the conclusion of play this date at the Yonkers Tennis Center."Yeah, Frankie' interjected 'Big Al' Diodati who was victimized countless times by nonreturnable first serves from the 'bombastic blowhard,' "but the Titan's serve is more like a Christmas decoration. It'll be gone by the weekend." The boys were having a little fun at the 'egotistical egomaniac's expense after the TennisTitan and George 'Teacher' Febles took two of the three sets played to completion. The day did not start quite so well for the 'obnoxious oaf' and 'el profesor pequito' as they dropped the opening set in short order (1-6) to 'Slats'/'Big Al.' "That was some strategic time out between sets one and two" lamented 'Big Al' at picture time. Pat Rogers must really know how to coach." "Al, he said 'just let it rip big guy, that Irishman on the other side of the net is not Tully. 'Big Al' is without his lifeline today. Pull his strings to close him out, twirl your racket lie a venetian blind rod and unload. 'Slats' is a piece of balsa wood - break him with your heater." With that Titan rode the wave the next two sets leading the 'sensational senor' to resounding (6-2-, 6-1) triumphs with his wrist bending serves that garnered five aces and another half dozen service winners. Leading (3-2, break up, partial) the 'nettlesome nitwit' taunted the departing 'Italian Stallion' and 'coddling counselor' with, "Thursday, I'm bringing my own Irishman who knows how to play this game. 'EBL' Tully better be in shape. My goal is to close out 2010 on the crest of this wave."

Thursday, December 23, 2010

A Christmas THREE

"I wore green and red for Christmas. Pretend that the racket is a star. EBL lit me up for three sets. And I have the balls to write this blog."

"Don't START treaty with a Russian

"I also need to dye my hair black and wear black rimmed sunglasses to look like Orbison."

EBL likes a Black Russian

"Titan, I will close my eyes for the picture just as I close my eyes when I hit those winners against you."

Remembering "The Voice."

"Titan, perhaps you should have some Stoli when you go home. It will take away the pain of another loss, both physical and mental" snickered Komrade Kartsev. "I should have that drink 'Russkie' chimed in 'Big Al' Diodati. "After all I drew 'the short straw' in pairing with TennisTitan in this afternoon's (1-6, 2-6) pounding at the Yonkers Tennis Center. Titan had pop on his serve, some hustle to the ball, but as always no answers to the consistency and athleticism that Bill 'Energizer Bunny Legs' Tully brings to the game. Trailing (2-4 partial) with 'Russkie' as his partner, Titan told the Russian emigree "Vladimir, you don't have a Kahlua on the court. You are always out of position and unable to anticipate where the next ball will be returned." 'EBL' interjected, "Russkie, tell that 'boisterous blowhard' that you are not a Black Russian, regardless of how you are dressed today." "I thought the 'Man in Black' was supposed to be Johnny Cash" corrected 'Big Al.' "Bullshit" retorted an indignant Titan. "Look at him. Those black rimmed glasses. He's Roy Orbison. Only the Lonely (1960) would want to partner with Vladimir." "I'd be Crying (1961) and Running Scared (1961) too if he were my partner" claimed 'Big Al.' "Pretty Woman (1964) would want him as a partner observed 'EBL' to a smiling 'Russkie.'

Saturday, December 18, 2010

"I am ashamed of my behavior."

"Not only won't I stay for my bagel. I won't pose for a new picture. My DNA is this, Titan: 'Don't Need Aggravation."

True Grit

"If we had half a brain among us we'd be on a golf course in Florida."

The Iceman Cometh

"Titan, I just grit my teeth, when I read all that bullshit you write about me."

Giving him the cold shoulder.

'Slats' thinks just because he showed up, I won't roast his ass in the blog."

"Quitters Never Win"

"Titan, this is the price you gotta pay" opined George 'Chemist' Hauss. "First you abandon us for three weeks to go to supposedly warm Florida - and you can't find a game down there, now this." Frank 'Slats' Slattery interjected, "those Florida rubes won't even wear shorts if it's under 60 degrees and you had temperatures of 35 - 55 each and every day. Those snow birds can't fly, they're turkeys!" "Yeah, but this is even worse" responded TennisTitan. "I take umbrage at that" snickered 'Happy Jack' Carey. "You and 'Slats' losing to me and the 'Chemist' (5-7) in the opener, especially after I made it possible to play with my ice melting crystals, chopping and broom work at game time, is no disgrace." "Titan, said 'Slats,' dropping the second set (6-7 [6]) wasn't entirely my fault, you know. Your legs never moved at all in this morning's 28 degree temperature. And Jack, you don't even know what umbrage means. You must have read it in some asshole's blog." "Frankie, it's not that. I am pissed at 'Dave the Rave.' He and the 'Chemist' squeaked out that second set. But my legs finally loosened up for the third set when it's always about heart anyway. I sacrifice far more in the pain I will endure post match when I play a third set, than any of the other guys, and that yokel 'Dave the Rave' quits down 5 - love (partial). 'HJ' reminded us all, "maybe it's in his DNA."