Thursday, September 03, 2009

Controlled Substance?

"Titan, what drugs are you on?" queried an incredulous 'Prosac Kid' at the end of the 70 minute free-for-all of a set at Kinsley this evening. TT and Chris the 'Prosac Kid' played inspired tennis to defeat the tandem of Carl 'Speedy Legs' Gessman and George 'Chemist' Hauss (7-5). 'Prosac' put the burden squarely on the 'boisterous blowhard's shoulders during warm up when he announced "I'm on quite a winning streak...haven't lost a set in two weeks and have won 15 of the last 17 I've played in, Titan." "Duh, Prosac, are you sure you want to play with me" rejoined the 'bloated behemoth.' Racing off to a three games to love lead the unlikely duo appeared to have things well in hand. A scant 25 minutes later the 'Yonkers Yakker's service was broken after failing on four ad-in opportunities leaving the lads facing a 3-4 deficit. TT/'Prosac' immediately broke back and then forged a 5-4 lead on the savvy play of the 'pedantic prevaricator' and the resilient returns of the 'sedated sensation.' That advantage was short-lived as the ubiquitous 'Chemist'/unrelenting 'SL' continued their mastery on each and every point that went 10 or more balls knotting the contest again. However, your 'egotistical egoist' delivered the goods at love in the critical eleventh game on his service to put the pressure on 'Chemist's serve. A gleeful 'tranquil treasure' and an 'exhausted egghead' were all smiles at net feigning consolation as the 'Chemist' return went wide bringing this grueling affair to a happy ending. A grinning Titan turned to his spacey partner and said, "Pros, to answer your question, after we lost that three game lead, I decided to take one important tablet and it did the trick." 'Chemist' quipped, "An amphetamine?" 'Speedy Legs' chimed in "Steroids?" "Nope" retorted Titan, "it works all the time for me...Fuckitol! It let's me go for broke on every shot."

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