Saturday, August 28, 2010


"I asked him to take notes last night at the Pilot Pen. Not one player tried that bullshit half-drop shot, half-spinner that the 'Chemist' insists upon using."

We DISPATCHED You good though

"Titan, I'm a livery dispatcher. I can't help it if my company hires drivers who can't speak English or think for themselves."

Shooting the Moon

"I knew the 2nd set was in the cards. My game is Hearts, both here and at home."

House Money

"Titan, I told you 'every time you play with George 'Chemist' Hauss it's a gamble" quipped a very 'Happy Jack' Carey at the conclusion of play this morning at Kinsley. "Half the time he gets that stupid slice in, the other half the time it's in the net. But 100% of the time it's the wrong shot or the wrong time for it even when he gets it in. You were lucky to win the first set with him (7-6 [8]) against Frank 'Slats' Slattery and I." "Frankie, coming back from 2-5 down in the first set to win in the breaker, I knew that I was playing with 'Hauss money' in the second set (4-6), retorted the 'bombastic blowhard.' A fuming 'Chemist' rejoined, "Jack, the only gamble Titan should talk about today is if one of your drivers actually shows up at the airport at the appointed time. I think you drank the wrong shot at the wrong time when you booked the 'cranky curmudgeon's ride recently!" Slats tried to intervene lest tempers flare even more with, "George, at least 'Happy Jack' has a job, unlike the Titan whose main line of work is to bust balls here at Kinsley." "But Frankie, Titan wants to up the ante and be your partner next week. Think you can handle it better than I did today? He didn't run for a damn ball!" continued a flaming Bunsen Burner man." "I'll see you next week, 'Chemist." Surely I'll have to raise my game with the 'overbearing oaf' as my partner" responded 'Slats.' "Don't call me" interjected 'Happy Jack,' "I'd rather stay home with my wife and poke her, than draw 'Chemist' as my partner. "Jack, I always knew you were a stud" giggled the TennisTitan.

Saturday, August 14, 2010


"It was like this. The 'Chemist' played up to my expectations and did his part in delivering our two victories. He can sleep well tonight without fear of blog blow-back."

Sobering Development

"In the old days after a loss like Kraut and I had today, we'd Jack down a few boiler makers and get Happy."

The 13th Step

"Now after a loss like Carl and I had to you we'll go out for a walk with Yonkers on the Move."

Profesor Pequeno cut down to size

"Titan my partner departed before you could take a picture of both of us... can you therefore say we lost 3-0?"

Temperance Movement

'George, what do you think?" cackled the TennisTitan to his doubles partner, the 'Chemist', George Hauss. "Earlier, I walked the walk. Now, I'll talk the talk." The 'egotistical ego maniac' had indeed started the day as he had promised to Carl the 'Anonymous Gas Man.' The 'immobile minotaur' had avowed to the organizer of the Yonkers On The Move event that he would walk the approximate mile from Kinsley to Gorton HS to participate in the inaugural festivities. 'Happy Jack' Carey, victimized in both losses to 'TT'/'Chemist' (7-6, [4], 6-2) observed, "I had to walk it off many a day in my younger years but never was I able to play tennis so effectively after a snootful." The 'Kraut,' Bob Kluge interjected, "Happy', when we were walking it off back in the day, we were lucky to find our way home. The Titan not only walked to Gorton, he walked from the HS back to his second home, Kinsley." The 'Anonymous Gas Man' added, "Jack, our 2-6 defeat actually looks good compared to the bagel that TennisTitan/Joe 'Gimpy Knees' Cruz (6-0) hung on George 'Teacher' Febles and 'Wandering Wally' upon TT's immediate return from his 2 mile walk. With that the 'Chemist' had heard enough, "Joe, everyone here knows you know a thing or two about 'benders,' but the 'bombastic blowhard' would never have won a set without my 'bender' today that neither the 'Kraut' or 'Speedy Legs Gas Man' could catch up to this morning." 'Gimpy Knees' hiccuped and remarked, "I think I need another drink."

Saturday, August 07, 2010

"We 'cowboyed up' on you today."

"Titan. I used to call you 'Big Red' remember? No more, Stuart is the new sheriff in town."

The Accused

Titan: "He never should have had that lesson."
Chemist: "Keep your shirt on, Titan. Your followers suffer enough reading your blog."

The Final Shot

"Titan, you should have no trouble at next week's Walk-athon that Carl is gassing about. After all, what else do you do on the tennis court but walk."

A Teachable Moment

"George, let this be a lesson for you" screamed the TennisTitan at his doubles partner, George 'Chemist' Hauss. The boys had just managed to eke out a (7-5) victory in their second set against the tandem of Bob 'Kraut' Kluge and Stuart 'not ESPN' Scott at Kinsley Park this morning. 'Chemist' struggled with his usually more reliable slice all day, over hitting or catching the tape with uncanny regularity. He was only somewhat more responsible for the (5-7) defeat in the opening set than the 'obtuse oaf'' who was also anything but exceptional, having no pop on the ball or jump to his step. The Bunsen Burner man reminded the 'lethargic lout' that the tennis lesson I had recently was a raffle prize. "You get what you pay for" retorted the 'cranky curmudgeon' snidely. You play better without all that crap in your head that the pro tells you." Der Klugemeister interjected "Let this be a lesson to both of you. Not Espn outplayed you - plain and simple." Stuart remarked, "Bob, that's not saying much against the Titan, but George, that's another matter. He just flamed out. Titan takes all the oxygen out of the air."