Wednesday, October 31, 2007

"We Let One Get Away."

"Hey, you think it is easy to carry this 'blowhard' for two sets? Titan's a load!"

Bill 'Electro Lux' Ching

The name is 'Ching,' not Chan - even Sidney Tolar screwed up once in awhile as Charlie Chan!

'Lil Papi' and the 'Neck'

"Titan, we're like the two guys in the middle of the Red Sox batting order, rallying from behind."

Joba Time Revisited

"Titan, in baseball they would call this a 'blown save." So commented Bill 'Electro Lux' Ching upon completion of his two sets as TennisTitan' doubles partner at Kinsley this date. TT/'Electro Lux' came out very strong in the opener, routing John the 'Neck' Manzi and 'Lil Papi' (6-0) in under 30 minutes. TT had it all working the entire afternoon. Lobbing the lines effectively and hitting flat down the middle the 'boisterous blowhard' complimented 'Electro Lux' fine work at net in the first set and one-half. Down 1-3 in the second set the 'immobile minotaur' led the charge to level the second set at five. Inexplicably the Ching volley suffered a complete meltdown in the eleventh and twelfth games. SuperBillie Boy Ching dumped his returns into the net at crunch time leading to a disappointing (5-7) loss. As the foursome met at net, 'Neck' Manzi remarked, 'Lil Papi' played like Big Papi in that second set. An unhappy SuperBillie Boy retorted, "John, you hit more balls off the frame for winners than Manny Ramirez has dreadlocks." TennisTitan chirped "Electro Lux, you sound like a Yankee fan. Was it flying bugs that caused you to choke at the net?"

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Herb 'Over Matched' Engle

"Titan, haven't you ever had a bad day on the court?"

Wait'll next week

"Herb gets high marks for choosing not to be my partner today."

Trying to Get My Money's Worth

TennisTitan joined three of his mates for four sets of doubles at the Yonkers Tennis Center. Titan paired with Hanibal the 'Caballero' for two sets, and with 'Rockin Rick' Ricci for the other two. Opposing TT in all four sets was a newbie to the morning group - Herb 'Over Matched' Engle. None of the sets was particularly competitive. Herb could not support his partner well enough to threaten his opponents' serve or hold on his own. TT/'Caballero' won (6-2, 6-1) and TT/'RRR' rolled to (6-2, 6-2) victories. As the group met at net 'Rockin ' Rick opined, "At least it only cost us $12 a piece and we played for two hours. 'Caballero' said "And there is no tax." To wit TennisTitan riposted "Tax? Who could be taxed in a game played at this speed?" 'Over Matched' quipped, "Titan, next week when we play, I'll insist that YOU be my partner... then we'll call it an exercise tax, not an excise tax!"

Friday, October 26, 2007

Thrift Brothers

"We only play this early because the YTC gives us a cheaper rate."

Don Carmoody

"Titan, I'm more impressed that you can spell 'shillelagh' than with you tennis. You need 'spell check' for your first serve.

Rise and Shine?

"Well Titan, you were half right anyway. You may have risen but I sure didn't see any luster on your game" so critiqued Tony 'No Baloney' Guido this morning upon completion of play at the YTC. The 'bloated behemoth' had set the alarm for 5:30 AM to be able to function for his 7:30 return to his indoor morning group for the first time since last spring. Having played 90 minutes of intense doubles yesterday in a more challenging game the 'bloviating bullshitter' had great difficulty getting that tired ass, that sits upon those throbbing legs, that work those tender knees moving so he could get out of the house on time. The daily dose of 5 cups of coffee still jump starts the neuromuscular system but fails to improve accuracy on the first serve or follow through on the back hand down the line. TennisTitan paired with the Shillelagh Man, Don Carmoody in the first set against 'NoBaloney' and the 'Lean, Lanky, Lefty' Ed Gordon. 'Shillelagh Man/TT prevailed (6-2). TT/'LLL' got off to a 3-1 lead in set 2 before charitable giving set in leading to their (4-6) defeat. 'LLL' with Carmoody was well on his way to completing his usual trifecta down 2-5 love 30 to TT/'NB' when the clock ran out. At picture time TT opined to Guido, "Tony, my game is not supposed to have any shine, or luster as you call it. I come here primarily to take pictures after I run my mouth on the court to get the coffee out of my system. And I always use a digital camera, so no matte (dull) finish. Playing tennis is incidental to my enjoyment."

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Colorful, if nothing else.

"Have you ever seen the map of Ireland on a man's face?"

Fair Warning

"John, it might take a few weeks but you'll eventually get used to him."

"You exhaust me Titan"

"Titan, on day's I play with you, I really appreciate that I married a nurse."

No Substitute for the Truth

"Titan, I hope you didn't pay first class - your game surely didn't match that cost - maybe economy, as in your movement toward the ball" so commented Bill 'Energizer Bunny Legs' to the 'bullshitting bloviator' upon completion of today's play at the Yonkers Tennis Center. TT was delighted to be back on the court for the first time in three weeks when invited to substitute for Roy 'Mr Spin' Marzullo late last night. At court side the 'bombastic bloviator' whined that he shouldn't have to pay to play because he flew home early from Florida to help the group out. TennisTitan was exposed as a prevaricator almost as easily as opponents uncover weaknesses in his game. In set 1 Titan paired with fellow substitute John "I.R.A." Meehan in a (4-6) loss to 'EBL' and Jim Addiss 'Abada.' The tandem of 'EBL'/'Abada' had their hands full unexpectedly as Meehan made mayhem late in the set with fine all court play to make this set highly competitive and entertaining. Set 2 saw a reshuffling of the teams without any diminishment in quality of play or competitiveness. TT/'EBL' were attempting to serve it out at (5-4 partial) when time expired. As TT was explaining the blog to 'I Run for Anything' at picture time, Meehan opined, "Titan, you should fly stand-by." EBL quipped, "Don't remind me, playing with Titan, one needs double air miles to justify the expenditure of energy." 'Abada' expounded, "We can't trust TT's line calls because we caught him in a lie, but at least Titan always seems to know the score!"

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Cold Turkey

TennisTitan has been without a game for near three weeks. Will any of my readers "step up" and fulfill a need? I am back in New York the night of Tuesday Oct 23. Won't you be my World Series opponent on Wednesday afternoon 10/24 at Kinsley or Amackassin? Or will I have to wait to my next scheduled match at the YTC on Friday morning 10/26.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

"Titan Survives a Tough One."

"Georgie, I tip my cap to you for playing, given the circumstances."

"Who's this Charles Darwin, Titan?"

"Genealogy is a lot less tiring."

"How Do You Like Me Now!"

"Well, I can't really say 'survival of the fittest."

Country Bumpkins

'TennisTitan, 'Live Free or Die' should be our motto in this heat and humidity" so said George 'Genealogist' Pratt upon completion of his two sets against the 'bloated behemoth' played in oppressive conditions. The Titan, on a three week sojourn in the Sunshine State, connected with George this date at the Tarpon Sail and Tennis Club before the Pratts headed for a wedding in the Granite State this weekend. Titan tipped his cap (Toby Keith hat) to this stalwart opponent who agreed to the match on short notice; he not having played singles since the last time the 'bloviating bullshitter' blew through Tarpon Springs earlier this year. Titan got off to a quick start (4-0) in set 1 before the 'Genealogist' got his strokes down and began to successfully move 'Two-Ton-Tommy' around the court. The remaining fourteen games were evenly contested with the 'boisterous blowhard' surviving at (6-2, 6-4). As the combatants met at net Titan opined 'Georgie, I have no doubt that had we played a third (set) you surely would taken me." The quick-footed, and equally quit-witted boy from Kansas retorted, "Titan, I lost five pounds of water weight these past ninety minutes, if I played another set my wife would have to put me in a pine box in the cargo hold on the plane to New Hampshire. As it is, I just need my head examined!" (pictures to be uploaded later).