Saturday, July 28, 2007

A "First Class" Guy

'Teacher' Febles says, "Tightened-One, stick with me. I'll up-grade your game for sure."

'not ESPN' Scott with 'not so' Stella

"Titan, now that you've served us a bagel, where's our champagne?"

1500 Air Miles for THIS?

TT says "I like to "Stand by" my man."

Air Travel

"Titan, playing with you is worse than flying in coach on a Friday night out of O'Hare." The sarcasm was dripping more than the sweat from Bob 'Kraut' Kluge upon completion of his two sets with TT this morning at Kinsley. 'Der Klugemeister' had flown in from Chicago for the weekend and was saddled with the responsibility of carrying the 'immobile minotaur' in their two set victories (6-3, 6-2) over the tandems of George 'Chemist' Hauss and 'Big Al' DioDati, and then Stuart 'not ESPN' Scott and Mike 'not so' Stella, respectively. TT/'Kraut' benefitted in having 'Chemist'/'Big Al' be stretched to the limit (6-7 [3]) in the opener against Tony 'no Baloney' Guido and Sab 'Koide Kid. 'Titan reminded the Tuetonic Pepsi truck driver at net, "Bobby-boy, remember when you are on court with me, I fly 'Stand by!" A beaming George 'Teacher' Febles chimed in "Tightened-One, with me, you fly "First Class." How else can you explain you winning a third set (6-0). To wit 'Not ESPN/'not so' Stella' retorted, "How come no champagne with our bagel!?"

Saturday, July 21, 2007

And Furthermore...

"I usually only get this abuse at home."

'Chemist' with 'Big Al'

"Titan, I drink Green Tea now. Do you think it's related to my on-court performance?"

I'll Take Sobriety, Thank you

"Titan, I wonder if my partner started drinking again, if he'd start playing like Joe Cruz."

being on "Cruz Control"

"Frankie, I mean it's a feature on your car. Why do you have to employ it at Kinsley." These were TennisTitan's harsh words directed at his partner Frank 'Slats' Slattery upon completion of the four sets this tandem played together at Kinsley this date. Titan was in no mood for his buddy's "I can't always carry you" routine when they had just dropped their second set of the day to a team that included 'Teacher' and an inebriated Joe 'Gimpy Knees' - 'Pour me Another' Cruz. It was not enough for the 'boisterous blowhard'/'Slats' to have won sets two and three in convincing fashion (6-2, 6-3) against George 'Chemist' Hauss and Big Al Dio Dati, and then against 'Happy Jack' Carey and George 'Teacher' Febles, respectively. No, the 'bloviating behemoth' wanted to know why 'Slats' didn't carry the day in set four, letting a 5-4 (three set points) advantage slip away to lose the finale (6-7 [3]). TT/'Slats' had been blown out in the opening set (2-6) by 'GK" Cruz and 'Rockin' Rick Ricci before getting their act together for sets 2 and 3. 'Slats' had wrested the advantage side from TT in the finale and showed us why he shouldn't play the backhand side - he has none! 'Slats' has plenty of hustle on the court and is effective at net, provided he gets a second or third chance at a put-away volley. Titan sings his chorus of "you, you" as the point extends on hoping against hope that 'Mr. Defense' will not play offense. 'Slats' zinged the Titan at picture time when he chortled "Titan, I might be in Cruise control when I match up against 'Gimpy Knees' Cruz, but you seeem to be idling in neutral on the court when I have to team with you. You give new meaning to my understanding of "all work, no play!

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Yossi 'Israeli Time' Newman

"Titan, unlike "Newman" on Seinfeld - I delivered today. Harold Levy has nothing on me!

'LimoMan' 'Israeli Time' Celebrate

"Yossi, beating the Titan makes me do strange things."

We'll accept 2 out 3 anyday.

"Rockin' let's give 'em credit. We were outplayed in the third set."

(Not so) Fast Times at Edgemont High

The alarm went off at 5:30AM to enable TennisTitan 'to function' for his 8:00 game up at Edgemont HS. Your Titan made his first appearance at Edgemont since last summer joining Jeff 'LimoMan' Berkon, Yossi 'on Israeli time' Newman and Rockin' Rick Ricci in three spirited sets of tennis. TT paired with Rockin' Rick against the 'LimoMan' and 'Israeli Time.' Titan did not have pop on his serve but was adept at service placement and ground strokes. TT/'RRR' won sets 1 and 2 handily (6-3, 6-2) but ran out of gas in the third (3-6). 'Rockin' Rick and 'Israeli Time' both featured occasional strong play at net. Titan controlled the alley and worked the backhand corner effectively. Kudos to 'LimoMan'/'Israeli Time' who held tough in the third set winning all three multiple deuce games to seal their victory as 'RRR' volleys desserted him at crunch time and Titan's sphere of influence was reduced to a two yard circumference. As the foursome met at net 'LimoMan' commented, "Titan, can I give you a lift anywhere? Perhaps to a treadmill?? 'Israeli Time' chortled, "Titan, with all the kibbitzing you do on court, I would like to send you to a kibbutz - in Israel - then we will see you run!

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Stuart 'Not ESPN' Scott

"Welcome back Stu" from all your tennis buddies at Kinsley.

It's Good to be Back at Kinsley

"TT, now that I played with you this Saturday, can I choose my partner next week?"

'Pistol' with 'Chemist'

"Titan, talk all you want. The Box score still says (5-7)!"

Big Al and Spindly Legs

"Titan, it was good to see Stuart back, but it'd be better not to hear you."

Welcome Back Stuart

"Titan, you give new meaning to my understanding of 'petit mal'?" The words of Stuart 'not ESPN' Scott at net after he and TT completed their second set at Kinsley this date. 'Not ESPN' was warmly received by the eight fellow hackers on the courts this morning. Stu has been only recently cleared to play tennis again after more than one year on the disabled list having been diagnosed with epilepsy in the Spring of '06. 'Not ESPN'/TT defeated 'Big Al' DioDati and Carl 'Spindly Legs' Gessman in their opener (6-3). 'Not ESPN' showed flashes of his fine all court game amid lapses at the net and an erratic service game. Set two saw further improvement in 'Not ESPN's game as he and TT erased a love-3 deficit to even the set at five before succumbing to George 'Chemist' Hauss and Lou 'Pistol' (sic) Gerencser (5-7). When the quartet met at net 'Chemist' inquired of 'Not ESPN's stated difficulties with short term memory. Stuart, reflected, then opined "I quickly recalled how difficult it is to play next to the Titan as soon as he opened his mouth. Seeing TT's efforts at net as compared with his work from the baseline is the difference between 'petit' and 'grand' mal play!"

Friday, July 13, 2007

It's MY club. I RULE here!

"Titan, stand behind me today. I stepped up, you didn't."

We can't carry you 'Blowhard.'

"TT, we paid Frankie $8 each to play at his club. How much do we owe you for non-support payments?"

A Hack(er)? I drive a Limo

"Titan, you feel bad? I could've driven to a client to Pittsburgh this morning and made $250! Now I get this abuse.

Call Me a Cab Please

"Titan, I know how you feel. I've been stiffed on a fare too." The cogent comment of Jeff 'LimoMan' Berkon upon completion of his fourth set at Amackassin this date. 'LimoMan ' was making his debut with one of TT's regulars ('Slats') on an unfamiliar (clay)surface. 'Rockin' Rick Ricci had ballyhooed 'LimoMan's much improved game in recent weeks based on his play up at Edgemont. Thus TT arranged this foursome for play at Kinsley. The venue was changed due to a youth program on the asphalt. Pairing regulars together for the first two sets, TennisTitan/'Slats' proved much too strong for 'RRR'/'LimoMan' as they were dispatched at love (6-0) and two (6-2) in the first two sets. Splitting aces the Kinsley boys doubled down and rotated partners for sets 3 and 4. 'Slats' drew the higher hole cards winning (4-6) with 'LimoMan' verses TT/'RRR' and (1-6) with 'RRR' against the tandem of TT/'LimoMan.' Titan's game was strong throughout all four sets. 'Slats' and his partners wisely played "keep away" from the 'bombastic blowhard' in set 3 and 4 enabling TT's partners to self-destruct at net as the 'immobile minotaur' rolled his eyes skyward. When the foursome met at net 'Slats' exalted, "Titan, I don't know what makes me feel better... Taking in $24 in guest fees for my club or knowing how it'll pain you that I -not you- was able to do the necessary heavy lifting in all four sets."

Saturday, July 07, 2007

"The Georges"

"Titan, we don't know which is worse: Playing with you or playing against you. It's a loss either way."

"Whatever makes you happy, Titan."

"When I play cards, I stack the deck too."

Victorious Duos

"Hey 'Blowhard', You and the 'Teacher' had no shot against any of us at Simpledon"

"Who says, it's a young man's game."

"Titan, if I didn't have to carry you in that first set, I'd also feel like a young man now" chortled George 'Teacher' Febles.

A Baker's Dozen

"Titan, maybe it's because we think of ourselves like "flies on shit." The incisive comment made by 'Happy Jack' Carey as Titan joined the overflow crowd of 12 fellow hackers at Kinsley this morning. Your 'bombastic blowhard' had made the decision to leave the VCR rolling and miss 'live coverage of Wimbledon to join his mates for more Simpledon tennis. TT paired with George 'Teacher' Febles in his first and second sets. Tony 'no baloney' Guido, making his first Saturday appearance teamed with the venerable Sab 'Koide Kid' in the opener on court 3 while 'King Gene' Slattery and Carl 'Spindly Legs' Gessman faced off against 'Big Al' Dio Dati and Joe 'Gimpy Knees' Cruz on the champions court. Doing battle of the challenger court were the teams of 'Rockin' Rick Ricci/'Slats' versus 'Happy Jack'/ George 'Chemist' Hauss. Your Titan and 'Teacher' earned the right to be 'movin' on up to the eastside with his (6-3) first set victory to vie against 'King Gene' and 'Spindly Legs in the second set (3-6) loss. Joining the fray for the departing 'GK' Cruz, Chris 'Prozac Kid' teamed with 'Big Al' in a second defeat by 'RRR'/'Slats' on the challenger court. After the departures of 'RRR,' 'Slats,' 'Gimpy Knees,' 'Big Al,' 'Spindly Legs,' 'No Baloney','Happy Jack' 'Koide and Prozac Kids' Titan threw down the gauntlet. "My Liege, can you carry me? These two Georges need a beatin'! As the weary foursome met at net post match 'King' opined, "Titan, your wish was my command (6-1), but shouldn't it be the other way around!?"