Tuesday, September 10, 2013

The 7 Grounds for Divorce

"No, Frank. I don't wanna hear 'what would Julie say.' I want to hear what Patsy would say." "You pull that crap with her, like you did with me this afternoon, she'd have your ass in court for non-support" carped an enraged Gene 'King' Slattery to cousin Frank 'Slats' Slattery at Andrus Park. The 'King' was none too happy losing the first set, after being up 2-4, (6-4), along side his cousin, to the TennisTitan and Bob 'Kraut' Kluge. "You know I can't take losing to anyone, especially when I am clearly a far better player, but to lose to that 'obnoxious oaf,' my God, my sons Chris and Chuck will be incredulous." "Gene, they went to Concordia. They don't know the meaning of the word" answered Frank. "They never lose in tennis, especially against the likes of that 'crippled curmudgeon and his motor mouth' responded my Liege. "Gene, I meant the word 'incredulous' corrected the 'coddling counselor.' "You abandoned me at my time of need with the irretrievable breakdown of your volley at critical times" critiqued a 'flummoxed Frank.' "And we did beat TT/'Kraut' (1-6) in the second set" continued 'Slats.' "Seems like you two need Richard Dawson here next time to play Family Feud" interjected the 'Kraut.' "But let me remind you," Titan and I were up (4-1 partial) in the rubber before my bus duty called. And if you two think you were coming back to beat us with the kind of support and team work I get from the Titan, then we have 'irreconcilable differences.' With that, a sheepish Frank turned to Gene and said, "how the hell can we explain this to Billy at our next game of hearts." "It's easy" quipped the Titan, 'tell him it'd be cruel and inhuman treatment to beat Titan at a sport he loves so much!"

And Frankie...Julie says, "Titan you are my hero."

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