Monday, July 22, 2013

The Exile

"Titan, but who is next in line? Surely not you." queried Frank 'Slats' Slattery over pizza and pitchers of pepsi post match at Frank Pepe's Pizzeria. TennisTitan had just defrocked Gene 'King' Slattery from this titular status first accorded him in 2005 when he dominated play at net and in his service at Kinsley. "Liege, your skills have eroded worse than Tiger Woods' putting game these past two years. Your inept volleys at net are akin to three putting a par three." Titan/'King' had just dropped the rubber (6-8) to 'Slats' and Joe 'Gimpy Knees' Cruz after splitting sets (2-6, 6-3) at Andrus Park in Yonkers. 'Gimpy Knees' came out firing in the opener and dominated with his forehand overpowering TT with pace and having 'King' mistime his forehand repetitively into the net. Finally settling into the rhythm of Titan's deep returns to the base line in set 2, 'King' began to cherry pick the feeble returns at net with a modicum of success. But not at crunch time. 'King' you remind me of Eldrich in another way too. You never come from behind to win the set. You have no more confidence in your serve with pace than Tiger has in dating Black women. You reach into your bag for Big Bertha and come out with a pitching wedge."  "Titan, it was you who had your service broken in game 14 of the third set" countered the once coronated one. "You are the one who plays tentatively, that your opponents exploit with short balls. The only wedge you know about is in your underwear." Indeed, Liege, you make valid points. But we actually lost the set in the 10th game when you failed to convert game/set point six times with those awful shanks at net. 'Gimpy Knees' couldn't buy a point in the third set, he was so tired and you didn't make him pay for it." I formally send you into exile for two weeks at Lake Sebago, Maine. Play some golf, Hit a ball that is not moving." "Titan, I have a small handicap when I play golf, but with you on the tennis court, that's another story." 

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