Russian Roulette

"This is how you treat a comrade?" chided Vladimir 'Russkie' Kartsev. "Titan, First you beg me to come and play on Saturday morning throughout the year, and when I finally show up, you treat me like Putin treated Alexei Navalny." "Russkie, with the way you played this morning as my partner (0-6, 3-6) in losses to Frank 'Slats' Slattery, first with 'Big Al' Diodati and then with Rockin' Rick Ricci, I should have treated you like Putin treated Edward Snowden. You would get no asylum from me, 'Russkie.' I would send you home in the plane that brought you from Hong Kong. Your game betrayed you, not me" "But Titan, countered the 'Russian Bear,' there are no state secrets I needed to divulge so that everyone would know how to beat you. Your game is like a Russian car, the Lada, - always breaking down." "Thank God 'Slats' took pity on a fellow Irishman and paired with me in a (6-4) victory against the 'Chemist,' George Hauss and Mike 'not so stellar' Stella to conclude the days play in 90 degree temperatures" continued the 'otiose oaf.' 'Big Al' interjected, "Bulbous bullshitter,' I think you lost more pounds in water weight than you lost games to me and Frankie. Be thankful for that."