"Titan, today you displayed graciousness on the court" beamed Max 'Tutor' Tuchman to the 'ebullient egotist.' "Hell, Max you're so old you had a brain fart and showed up to play - even though you weren't scheduled to be in today's foursome - you should blame the schedule maker" retorted TennisTitan. "But that'd be me" answered 'Tutor.' "Exactly" re-posited the 'arrogant antagonist'.' "And you would've gotten plenty of blame from me had we lost that set to 'Big Al' Diodati and Vladimir 'Russkie' Kartsev. (7-6 [3]). We were in the hole 1-4 before you got your mind off I-95 and made a few plays at net. I was beginning to second guess my generosity in allowing you to play the first set in my stead. You even made 'EBL' Tully work in the opening set victory you had over the 'Italian Stallion' and the 'Russian Bear (6-3)." "TennisTitan, or TT if you allow me, I may be the 'Tutor' but you are more aptly named my 'Tutee" chuckled a 'mawkish Max'.
"Titan, instead of buying indulgences perhaps you should purchase something to steady your nerves," So quipped Bob 'Kraut' Kluge at the conclusion of the tiebreaker in which he routed TT seven - zero to take the set (6-7). "And no self-respecting Lutheran is going to be intimidated by a ne'er do well wearing a seventeen year old t-shirt with the likeness of a dead pope emblazoned on it." Titan had given the 'heckling heretic' all he could handle in the 65 minute set. Indeed the 'Catholic choker' served for the set twice at 5-4, and 6-5 only to be broken by the 'Germanic gyro.' "TennisTitan, you must Reform your game. Your salvation on and off the tennis court can only come through the grace of God (and maybe a few more unforced errors by me). Here's my Thesis, even though it's only one, not 95 like Martin Luther demanded: Go on a Diet of Worms: you'll wiggle out of difficulty easier as you slither around the court and as an added benefit we won't excommunicate you from Kinsley."
"Kraut, I don't blog sets that are not played to completion" was the Titan's response. "Der Klugmeister had given his all as TennisTitan's partner in the set that ended (5-5) against Carl the 'anonymous Gasman' and George 'Chemist Hauss. "But Titan" continued the 'Teutonic dynamo' we came from 1-5 down in the breaker to win the eleventh and deciding game by taking six points in a row. Can't you report about that, if not boast about it?" "Sorry Kraut, beating the 'Chemist/'Big Al' Diodati tandem (6-3) in the first set with 'Rockin' Rick Ricci at my side will have to satisfy my readers that the 'bombastic blowhard' played some terrific tennis today."
"Freedom isn't free" trumpeted the TennisTitan as he trundled off the court at the Yonkers Tennis Center. "But you're as cheap as they come anyway" chirped the Italian Stallion, 'Big Al' Diodati. Titan had just enjoyed the fruits of having paired with Bill 'Energizer Bunny Legs' Tully in a second set (6-0) thrashing of the Italian Stallion and Vladimir 'Russkie' Kartsev. 'Big Al' was pissed because, unlike the 'Russian Bear' who in the first set had enjoyed a (2-6) triumph over the Titan with 'EBL," 'Big Al' could only claim a two (0-2) game lead against the TT/'Russkie' tandem when time expired. "Comrades" interjected the 'ebullient emigre,' I can assure that 'Freedom isn't free.' I had to pay the 'State' 1,500,000 rubles to leave the motherland in '92...and it has been worth every asinine moment I have had to spend with the Titan since."
"That's more like it" tooted the 'bloviating bullshitter' as he headed to the bench to collect his camera. TennisTitan and George 'Chemist' Hauss had just completed their daily double by sweeping both sets played on this crisp early spring morning at Kinsley Park. 'Big Al' Diodati and Frank 'Slats' Slattery, no doubt seeing the handwriting on the wall exited the park midway through the Titan/'Chemist' (7-5) victory over Carl the 'anonymous Gas Man' and Rich 'dozin' docent' Gerchak. "Frankie, Titan is in mid season form. We might as well leave now. We've got no chance in a rematch" commented the Italian Stallion still smarting from their (6-3) opening set loss to TT/'Chemist.' "Big Al,' there's only one way to beat that 'ludicrous loud mouth' when he's on a roll - either cut his vocal chords or steal his camera...in this case, let's just get out of here before he takes our picture."
TennisTitan returned to the Yonkers Tennis Center this date after an extensive absence. He joined regulars 'Big Al' Diodati, Vladimir 'Russkie' Kartsev, and Bill "Energizer Bunny Legs" Tully in three eminently forgettable and predictable sets. "I feel like I am stuck in a revolving door" lamented 'Big Al' who suffered an opening set loss along side the 'bombastic blowhard' (1-6). "It's like a winter day in the Gulag" critiqued the 'Russian Bear' after succumbing (1-6) next to the 'noxious nerd.' "You guys are full of crap. This is invigorating" crowed the 'prevaricating protagonist' when he paired with 'EBL' in the (6-2) finale. As the foursome left the court the 'Tullyville Trolley' remarked "I feel like I just watched Groundhog Day for the eighty third time."
