Figuratively Speaking

"Titan, Richie and I were just doing our part to get you properly prepared" grinned Gene 'King' Slattery at the conclusion of his three set sweep this afternoon at Kinsley Park. TennisTitan and regular doubles mate Frank 'Slats' Slattery were out gunned  (2-6, 3-6, 4-6) by 'King' and Rich 'Royal Crown' Condon. "Frankie had to do more running for you today than usual" observed the 'man who reminds all 'my name ends in an 'n,' not 'm.' But he can't help you tonight 'laxative lackey,' you're on your own." "Frankie, I can't even say 'we were hosed' by bad calls" continued TennisTitan. "We just got the 'shit kicked out of us.' The man known as 'My Liege' remarked, "Oh, you'll be hosed tomorrow on that cold steel table.You'll wish it was by a tennis racket." "Not to worry'" 'soothed the 'coddling counselor,' you shouldn't have much trouble with the procedure...after all, you are the biggest asshole in the group."