The phone rang persistently from a NJ number on Tuesday morning May 3rd before the Titan decided he better pick it up. TennisTitan was being called to task by the 'Jersey Bomber.' "What's up old man? I display my finest tennis this past Saturday at Kinsley and you choose somehow not to blog it," queried a 'naughty nephew.' "I travel 120 miles round trip to be your legs in those (6-2, 6-4) victories over 'Happy Jack' Carey and Stuart 'not Espn' Scott and your arthritic fingers can't find the keyboard. The crew knows you're slow as molasses on the court but usually very quick on the blog write up. Now you're telling me you're fresh out of ideas to explain your (2-6) opening set pounding by George 'Chemist' Hauss and 'Dave the Rave." "Why don't you just tell your readers that I couldn't get to the park until 10:30 and so you were stuck with 'Hapless Jack' as your partner in that one. And don't forget to mention that while you sat your sorry, fat ass on the bench I proceeded to win my final two sets (6-0, 6-2) with partners 'Dave the Rave' and the 'Chemist' crowed Rob "Jersey Bomber' Briscoe.
"Can't you just picture him in a John Le Carr novel... the document dump...the missile secrets... a double agent assassin. Scary!"
"Now listen. I've been a Jew almost 75 years. I know more about the Haggadah than someone who converted 75 minutes ago."
"Titan, with an inch of rain expected later today, your tears now won't make a bit of difference" crowed 'Big Al' Diodati who with George 'Chemist' Hauss held on to win the final set (6-7 [6]) in a nail biting finish. It was fitting that the most competitive set of this dreary, windy Saturday morning would involve TennisTitan pairing with 'su amigo' Joe 'Gimpy Knees Cruz. Trailing 2-4 the Puerto Rican dandy showed flashes of his once dominant ability at Kinsley. GK's power forehand and crisp volleys had put TT in a position to close it out leading 6-5 in the finale. But three times the 'Italian Stallion' faced set point on his serve, only to survive and force the breaker. Down 1-5 in the tiebreaker TT/GK rallied to gain another set point that was also squandered just prior to a 'Chemist' put-away of TT's return of a well placed Diodati serve. In typical Titan fashion the 'egotistical egomaniac' attempted to bask in the 'stallion's shadow' at picture time reminding the 'Chemist' that TT had led 'Big Al' to a smashing (6-1) triumph over the tandem of the Sab 'Koide Kid' and Frank 'Slats' Slattery in the opening set. "Need I remind you, 'otiose oaf,' that Senor Cruz and I roasted your plantains (1-6) when you and the 'Italian Stallion' faced real opposition in the second set" retorted the 'Bunsen Burner'
"Today is the 'Chemist' birthday. My gift to him was that I was not his partner. Happy Birthday, George, may you be hitting them as well as 'Big Al' and 'Koide Kid" when you are in your 80's."
"Titan, Russians are not stupid, just duplicitous" commented Vladimir 'Russkie' Kartsev as he left the court with two easy victories under his belt. The (2-6, 1-6, 2-3 partial) hammering administered by the 'Molotov Cocktail' and his 'Minister of Defense,' Bill Tully, were reminiscent of all the panache used by Nikita Kruschev banging his shoe at the United Nations some 50 years ago. 'Big Al' Diodati had no answers for the returns coming off the racquet of the emigre from Behind the Iron Curtain, and the Titan was nothing more than a Bloody Sunday victim at the hands of the 'irrepressible Irishman.' "Next time, 'ludicrous libeler,' I will run to the side of the court 'Energizer Bunny Legs' will be defending rather than be stuck with you. Vladimir showed more hustle in picking his partner than my democrats have sob stories about shutting down the government" opined the 'Italian Stallion.'"Hell, 'Big Al,' we're all stuck with that Obamanation of a president you and the 'Tutor' voted for. A good community organizer is what you need here to determine fair sides, don't you think?" retorted the 'bearded birther.' Vladimir iced the conversation thus, "Americans are stupid. All your politicians lie to get votes. It so happens that in Russia we don't have a free press to vet a politician's character. Here, the press is only interested in Lady Gaga's measurements or the dates Charlie Shehan was in rehab. No one cares if this president spent 2 million dollars shielding his past. The press gives him the same 'pass' Tully gives you on the court - with ease!" "You've been Trumped, Titan" quipped the 'Tullyville Trolley.'
"I'm like that first tuft of crab grass showing up on your lawn in April. Forever annoying if not dependably green."
"They thought they had us in that second set. They had to think again 20 minutes later.""Titan, we couldn't think of a better way to welcome you home from Florida" opined 'Big Al' Diodati. "We read your Sunshine State entries and realized, like always, you'd be in desperate need of a win" commented 'Gimpy Knees' Joe Cruz. "I thought that I might even have to return to Florida to provide you with one. It was cheaper for me to let you win here at Kinsley" continued 'GK.' "It's never easy winning with the Titan" deadpanned the 'Chemist.' George Hauss had drawn the short straw in this morning's action and rose to the occasion. TT/'Chemist' dominated 'GK'/'Big Al' in the opening set (6-2) and rallied from love three down to take the second set (6-4). 'Chemist' had plenty of side spin on his slices, accuracy on his lobs and defended well from the baseline. The 'boorish blowhard' also did his part, contributing some pop on his serve and some agility at net. When the foursome met at net for pictures Titan reminded everybody, "spring is in the air; it should be a great season if all the guys show up next week." 'Chemist' quipped, "Lead footed loudmouth,' don't be worrying about others coming. How about you showing up with some spring in your step for a change!"
