Titan looked forlornly at the blue-green waters of the Gulf of Mexico and thought to himself "how pissed off should I really be?" The 'boorish bloviator' has just competed a four set match involving three superior female players and came out the clear loser. It wasn't so much dropping the last three sets at 3, 0, 1 but it was the the rejection of his schmooze about his blog. Suki the 'Korean Komet' was awesome as always; running everything down, handling pace, high bouncing balls and the smashes inevitably sent her way. Teaming with Angela the 'Greek' and/or Deeda the 'Pitt Panther,' TennisTitan could not out play the 'Korean Komet' when she was on the other side of the net. TT didn't care a wit that playing with 'KK' was a warm-up exercise in their first set (6-2) hammering of the agile Deeda and the crafty Angela. But the 'bombastic blowhard' was annoyed that none of them were picture friendly. "My husband...yada, yada." "But it will only be the three of you in the photo" didn't resonate. So Titan gave 'his notice' to Suki and likely will not accept future opportunities with this group. The 'blundering plunderer' was pondering his decision wistfully (and the 15 inches of snow pounding Yonkers) and strategizing as to how to insinuate himself into the men's' game that is usually played simultaneously. Then he realized he was standing on 15" of sand and suddenly all was right with the world again!
"Hey, Joe where did you find this guy I'm playing next to" hooted newbie Matt 'Somebody Better' Tilles as the second set drew to a close. Matt was cajoled into playing for 'Gimpy Knees' Cruz and ran into the 'buzz saw', otherwise known as Bill 'Energizer Bunny Legs' Tully this afternoon. 'Somebody Better' acquitted himself well in both his losses opposite 'EBL,' showing an effective serve, good anticipation, and hustle to the ball. But, no one has Tullyville's first step to the ball or explosiveness in the transition game. 'EBL' teamed with the 'bombastic bloviator' in a barn-burner of a first set (6-3) against 'MSBT' and another newbie, Noah 'Build Me an Ark', the grandson of 'Big Al' Diodati. TennisTitan brought his 'A' game and gave 'EBL' strong support with effective lobbing and handling the bombs thrown his way by the 'Ark Man.' Set two cast TT with 'MSBT' against 'EBL' and newbie 'Second Fiddle Sammy' (14 year old Noah's 11 year old brother). Both Noah, and Grampa Al delighted in the youngster's performance assisting the 'Tullyville Trolley' to another (3-6) result sending Titan home one up, one down, for the day. As the teams met at net Joe told his buddy, "Matt, the 'blogging bullshitter' occasionally makes enough noise with his play on the court to drown out his constant commentary - that's why we call him the 'braggadocios blowhard.' Remember the ear plugs next time! 'Big Al' beamed, turned to his grandchildren and remarked, "Kids, you did me proud. Watching the Titan getting beat from the sidelines is almost as enjoyable as doing it myself!"
"Titan, there is only one King on this court. And it ain't your partner, that's for damn sure" cackled 'Big Al' DioDati at the conclusion of 100 minutes of spirited tennis at the Yonkers Tennis Center this afternoon. TennisTitan returned to the metropolitan area yesterday and was treated to a pairing with Gene 'King' Slatttery against the 'Big Al' and Bill 'Energizer Bunny Legs' Tully. In the only set played to completion featuring many quality points and notable winners from all players, the 'Italian Stallion' and the 'Crestwood Comet' withstood two set points in the twelfth game to eventually salt away the victory at (6-8), winning the final three games.'Big Al's taunt underscored the obvious: 'EBL' rules this court regardless of who is adversaries are. 'Big Al's contribution to the triumph are significant but are always dwarfed by the steady hand of the 'Tullyville Trolly' patrolling the baseline. Today was no exception as 'EBL' prolonged many exchanges until the 'Stallion' put away the winner at net, 'King Slattery' fired into the tape or 'TennisTitan's lob went long. TT/'King' trailed 1-3 in games in the 2nd set when time expired. When the group met at net Titan remarked to 'My Liege,' 'At least we gave them a run for their money, Geno!' "EBL' turned to his partner and remarked, "Al, don't you think the readers of 'Tommy TrashTalk's blog wonder, 'where does does he get off using the word 'run' and 'Titan' in the same sentence."
With strains of Gloria Gaynor's disco era tune 'I Will Survive' spinning in his brain a relieved TennisTitan played his final match at the Lake Tarpon Tennis and Sail Club during his abbreviated one week stay. Fittingly George 'Genealogist' Pratt offered himself as the sacrificial lamb. But this was not the same meek ovine creature who has fallen so easily in the past to the 'bloated behemoth.' Facing the 'bombastic bumbler' was an invigorated Jay Hawk, a 'cantankerous Kansan' with renewed resolve, who battled the 'insipid idiot' to the very last ball. The boys had luncheoned a few hours earlier at Los Mexicanos and were sluggish throughout their one and three quarter hours of play. 'Genial George' took early command in both sets, obtaining the first break of serve before the 'ponderous plunderer' laid waste to leads in both sets, knotting each at four games a piece. TT secured the break in the 9th game of set one to close out (6-4) the contest by holding his own serve. Similarly set 2 went the distance as the 'wacky Wichitan' rallied to draw even at five games a piece by breaking the Titan at love. It became a test of wills as both combatants strove to summon their last bits of energy to seal a victory. The 'Yonkers Yakker' would not be denied. The 'immobile minotaur' swept the last two games to secure a hard fought (7-5) victory. The weary warriors met at net one final time to exchange burps and flatulence prior to the obligatory post match photo. 'Genealogist' quipped, "Titan, I hope all that Mexican food you inhaled earlier today becomes an issue for you in a 2' by 3' lavatory on Delta Flight 6868. "Hasta lluego, amigo," chortled the Titan.
"It was harder 'beatin' the rain' quipped the TennisTitan to the handyman installing fans in his apartment upon his return this morning at the Lake Tarpon Tennis and Sail Club. Your 'bungling buffoon' had inveigled his way into a doubles match at the complex as a stand-in for erstwhile regular opponent, George 'Genealogist' Pratt. Titan joined Donna, Gordon and Sylvia for what was to be three quick sets of doubles prior to the scheduled ten o'clock installation. Although Gordon appeared to be an accomplished player and worthy adversary, his wife and partner was no match (6-0) for the 'Yonkers Yakker' and the 'PrimaDonna.' With the first spritz of rain falling at the set's completion, the losing coupled retreated to their patio home adjacent to the court quicker than you can say 'no mas.' The rain ceased within minutes of its start so 'PrimaDonna' reluctantly agreed to a set of singles against the 'bombastic blowhard.' Although more capable than the departed Sylvia the 'Green Mountain Girl' had no answers for the 'insufferable insomniac.' The (6-1) pasting was quick and completed before the heavier rains arrived twenty minutes later. As the 'petulant pedagogue' retreated up the hill he thought, 'not everyone can be a 'Canadian Cruncher' or the 'Korean Komet' but at least I got to play a bit today.
