"Honey, do you think TennisTitan enjoyed my game?" queried Karen Klein to hubby Walt 'Show Me' Klein at the conclusion of play this morning at Blue Crab Key. "Baby-Cakes, any time that 'bombastic bloviator' manages one of his rare three set sweeps on the court, he'd probably buy us dinner if you'd come back." "I thought you were kidding when you asked me to bring ear plugs, but when those condo owners came out from their meeting 'asking quiet on the court' it put it in perspective for me." However, Titan let his racquet speak loudest this day as he and Jim 'Royalty' Cherfoli drove a wedge between the marital bond of the Kleins with their persuasive (6-4, 6-2) thrashings of the Missourians. For good measure the 'Yonkers Yakker' contributed significantly as 'Show Me's partner in the (6-2) humbling given to 'Royalty'/and Mrs. K. As the group met at net for the obligatory pictures Karen fired her third ace of the day against the 'immobile minatour'. "No way you call me 'Slo-Mo' Klein without paying the price. From now on Walt and I will refer to you as TennisTRITON. Afterall, judging by your size and movement on the court, you probably use a pitch fork to feed that gut of yours." Cherfoli quipped, "Titan, no way will I bring my wife to Blue Crab. I can get into trouble at home without your help!"
"Titan, recovering from playing with you is worse than an operation."
"Walt, no charge for this V. A. treatment" boomed the 'bombastic bloviator' at the conclusion of their hard fought [7-6 (3)] victory in today's finale at Blue Crab Key. TennisTitan had wisely elected to pair with Walt "Show Me" Klein in the third set. The 'immobile minotaur' needed all the help he could get to eke out his second victory of the morning. 'Coach' Klein proved up to the task, if only barely. "Titan is a lot to carry," preened the man from Missouri to opponents Ed 'call me Fast Eddie' Lubejko and Jim 'Royalty' Cherfoli. a newbie to BCK play. The 'bloated behemoth's energy had dropped as 'Fast Eddie's improved and 'Royalty' regained first set form. TT/'Royalty' had pummeled 'Show Me'/'Fast Eddie' (6-1) in the opener. Titan played his strongest set in a losing effort (4-6) with 'Fast Eddie' against the superior fire power offered by the tandem of 'Show Me'/'Royalty' in set two. As the foursome met at net Jim opined, "Titan, I said I live at the Royal Tee Country Club - only my wife is 'royalty' in my house." Lubejko chimed in, "Titan, no more of this 'Slow Eddie' sobriquet for me. I am as good looking as Paul Newman, so call me 'Fast Eddie' like in his movie 'The Hustler." 'Coach' Klein inquired, "Yonkers Yakker, what's this VA stuff?" To wit Tennis Titan quipped as the boys headed for their cars, 'Coach, today I Showed YOU. V.A. simply means 'victory assured' when Titan is at your side." (Pictures to be posted from NY)
And to that TennisTitan says 'Amen!' Your Titan awoke at 2:30 AM this morning in anticipation of watching 'Fed' do his thing against Djokovic at the Australian Semis. Unlike the premier men's tennis player of this era the 'bombastic bloviator' was able to do his thing against his arch nemesis in singles at the Tarpon Tennis and Sail Club. At 9:30 AM Titan engaged George 'Genealogist' Pratt in three sets and administered a whipping that made Djokovic' beat-down against Sir Roger look tame. Titan ran the table (6-3, 6-1, 6-2) in a two hour marathon that had the snow birds at the revered Pinellas County tennis facility clammoring for more. Titan had pop on the serve and limited jump to the ball effectively keeping his better conditioned opponent off balance throughout the match. As the boys met at net Titan graciously invited his defeated tennis host and aficianado out to lunch at the Lucky Dill restaurant in nearby Palm Harbor to celebrate the 'Genealogist' birthday. George opined, "Titan Lake Tarpon has heretofore always been famous for its large mouth bass. Today, I decree, we add another syllable. Lake Tarpon (Tennis and Sail) is now infamous for its Large Mouth Bastard."
"Titan, perhaps you should stay 'retired' commented Darryl 'Wolverine' Tison upon completion of two sets of tennis played at Blue Crab Key this date. The 'Wolverine' had wisely elected not to pair with the 'immobile minotaur' for the sets played with the Van Dycks this morning. Your TennisTitan partnered with Ron 'Michigander' Van Dyck in the opener (3-6) against Joann 'Server' Van Dyck and the 'Wolverine.' TT/'Michigander' valiantly stayed in the set until losing the critical multi-deuce seventh game before letting it all slip away with some shoddy play. 'Server's game dropped just enough in the second set to enable the two men from Michigan to walk away with the honors (4-6) as TT hopes for victory went awry with Joann's volleys at net. Titan was far more disappointed with his pains following the match than he was with his shot production. After a layoff from the racket of three weeks TT was still a presence on the court. The 'boisterous behemoth' had pop on the serve and effective lobs to complement his groundies, but could generate no jump to the ball with his ever increasing problems with his legs. As the foursome met at net, Ron opined, "Titan, maybe you should change the style of your beard to a 'Van Dyck' - then no one in Yonkers would know how badly your game has disintegrated." Joann, a waitress for many years at Capt. Con's in Bokeelia remarked, "Titan, now it's MY TURN TO GIVE YOU A TIP. - Don't bet on yourself on any match you compete in - you'll go broke."
TennisTitan will be trolling the courts of Lee County Florida these next four weeks when not being beaten by Red Fish and Snook in Pine Island Sound. You can hook him into a match with ease. Your lure: "Wanna Play, TT?" Give him a call and build your confidence.
"Titan, maybe you shouldn't have picked up the phone or the tennis racket," so commented 'Big Al' Dio Dati upon completion of play at the Yonkers Tennis Center. Your 'Whorin' Hobo' could not say 'no' to 'Big Al' when the Titan received a hurry up call, 'we need a fourth' at game time.' In a flash TT donned his tennis togs and was on the court in 25 minutes. And that my dear readers, was the only quickness the Titan displayed this date. The 'bloated behemoth' paired with Jim Addiss 'Abada' against 'Big Al' and the ever formidable Bill 'EBL' Tully. In a well played first set TT/'Abada' succumbed (3-6) when they were unable to break through against 'Big Al's service games. 'Energizer Bunny Leg's played his consistent game but 'Big Al' more than carried his own weight making critical gets and service saves throughout the match. TT had no jump to the ball and was outplayed from start to finish. The 'blogging bullshitter'/'Abada' were down 1-5 in the second set when a group of 8 year old girls were led on to the court by their instructor shouting, "Mercy Rule, Mercy Rule." As the boys left the court 'EBL' tried to buck up the the spirits of the 'despondent debaucher' with "Titan, we need you here. You keep the score great, and make the best line calls!" 'Big Al' trumped that with "And you make me feel young! Thanks for coming."
