Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Am I Blue?
"Your damn right I'm blue." So said the Titan upon completion of a three-setter at a new venue in Yonkers this date. The boys of summer were bumped from Edgemont HS by the high school team and moved to the newly resurfaced (blue paint) Anne Fredolino Courts in 'Rockin' Rick Ricci neighborhoood. TennisTitan was paired with Yossi 'Israeli Time' Newman against 'RRR' and Tony 'no baloney' Guido for the first two sets. The 'bloated behemoth' played a near flawless first set (4-6) commiting but two unforced errors as volley after volley was dumped into the net or went clanging off the back fence by the Jewish landlord from White Plains. The 'bombastic blowhard's game joined Yossi's in the toilet in the second set as they never threatened the Italian stallions succembing meekly at (1-6). Seeing that the 'bloviator's' balloon had burst 'no baloney' stepped up to partner with TT in the finale. Despite a stronger than expected showing from 'RRR'/'IT' a rejuevenated Titan/Guido prevailed (7-5) in the third. As the boys met at net 'Israeli Time' commented, "Titan, are you sure you're not Jewish? I think you would be perfect at the Wailing Wall." 'RRR' said, Titan, now you'll appreciate me more when I get stuck as your partner."
Posted by Your bloviating TennisTitan at 12:54 PM 0 comments
Saturday, August 25, 2007
'Rockin Rick' was stunned but...
Posted by Your bloviating TennisTitan at 2:34 PM 0 comments
A 'Hot Dog' on a roll
Your TennisTitan continued his recent hot streak this morning at Kinsley with a third consecutive 'A' game performance. TT paired with George 'Chemist' Hauss for three sparkling sets. Falling easily (6-1) in the opener was the tandem of 'Big Al' Dio Dati and 'Happy Jack' Carey. Waiting in the wings to take out the 'Chemist'/ 'bloated behemoth' was 'RRR'/'Slats' who handled (6-3) 'GK' Cruz/Sab 'Koide Kid.' Titan and the 'Chemist' were merely honing their already razor sharp skills for a very satisfying (6-2) thumping of 'Rockin' Rick Ricci and Frank 'Slats' Slattery. Their blade was rapier-like for set three as TT/'Chemist' concluded their Kinsley Killing with a (6-1) thrashing of a Joe 'Gimpy Knees' Cruz and 'Happy Jack.' 'Chemist' had a field day at net putting away hapless defensive returns generated by TT's precision serves and pounding forehands. At picture time 'Chemist' opined, 'What's up with you, Titan, amphetamines?" 'Happy Jack' chortled, "I want my racket back and some greenies too." Slats chipped in, "Titan, you had more pop today than I get from Viagra." 'Rockin' Rick chirped, "I need a Nexium for my stomach after I play the 'boisterous bloviator', but I'll settle for a Bloody Mary."
Posted by Your bloviating TennisTitan at 12:59 PM 0 comments
Friday, August 24, 2007
"Rosalie, we'll have an early martini."
Posted by Your bloviating TennisTitan at 1:04 PM 0 comments
General Petraeus
Posted by Your bloviating TennisTitan at 11:36 AM 0 comments
Monday, August 20, 2007
"I should've known...
...first he makes me roll the court to tire me out... then he hits those girly shots with wet balls..."
Posted by Your bloviating TennisTitan at 10:55 PM 0 comments
Who Knew?
"Titan, this is your worst nightmare - I'm not taking any plea bargains either." Your TennisTitan practically foot faulted in his recliner when he answered the phone Monday afternoon and heard those words through a thick Texas drawl. Out of the blue -on a dreary, rainy late summer day TT received a call from Stuart Gourd ( Austin Assassin) as he was heading east on I80 nearing the George Washington Bridge. "Come on over" encouraged the incorrigible bloated behemoth, "maybe if it doesn't rain anymore we can get a set in." And so it happened. Your Titan played a marvelously entertaining set against a man his better on the wet Andrus Park asphalt surface. Back in June, in Austin Texas, the Titan was walloped (2 and 1) by the pony-tailed lawyer who is a speedster ordinarily between the lines. Not today. The wet surface and playing with one of TT's $29.99 rackets took care of that! Titan and the Austin Assassin were resolute in holding serve throughout the match forcing the tie breaker after 55 minutes of intense drama. Each man had withstood 4 break point opportunities before prevailing in their service games. Indeed, the boisterous bloviator had no reason to be confident against the superbly conditioned litigator as they entered the 13th game. Titan held a mini-break until late in the breaker when all began to slip away as usual. Down 4-5 TT broke back and captured the final three points to take the set (7-6 [5]). As the incredulous barrister came to net for pictures Titan innocently quipped, "I acquitted myself quite well on court today, wouldn't you say." To wit the athletic attorney rejoined. "It's my conviction that you won only because of the arraignment." "Come back to Austin soon and I'll give you the Texas justice you deserve!
Posted by Your bloviating TennisTitan at 9:59 PM 0 comments
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Marital Strife
"Well 'Rockin' Rick - consider us divorced! I'm suing for non-support (6-7 [1]). And as for you 'Spindly', we are legally separated (2-6, 4-6)." Your Titan upbraided his partners with these words because they were no where to be found on the Kinsley courts this morning in the first three of the 'bombastic blowhard's four losses. Titan had had his 'A' game working in the set one heartbreaker against the 'Big Al' Dio Dati and the tandem of 'Gimpy Knees' Cruz (1-4 partial) and the substituting 'King' Gene Slattery when the roof fell in the braker. 'RRR,' who couldn't buy a volley or come close to controlling his forehand in the first set in the swirling, gusting winds condition that plagued today's play, found religion in sets two and three as he and 'GK' handled the erratic 'Spindly Legs'/TT. George 'Chemist' Hauss, who had successfully paired ( 6-3, 6-4) with Frank 'Slats' Slattery in contests against 'Big Al' and then Mike 'not so' Stella/'King' Gene,' offered no respite from Titan's disappointing morning. 'Chemist'/TT frittered away their 4-2 lead to drop the finale (4-6) to 'King' Gene/(suddenly) 'Stella Fella'! An ego-bruised TennisTitan was chastened at net by the 'Chemist's rebuke, "Don't start, Titan, we aren't even dating in the future!"
Posted by Your bloviating TennisTitan at 7:51 PM 0 comments
Monday, August 13, 2007
...Try,try again.
"Didn't Yogi once say, 'Deja Vu all overe again." That was all the TennisTitan could offer upon completion of his second (4-6) loss to 'Big Daddy' Jeff Briscoe at Blue Crab Key this afternoon. TennisTitan had again admirably rallied from a 0-3 deficit to knot the set at four when 'BD' slammed the door in his face by winning eight of the last nine points to close out another disappointing defeat for the 'pampering PopPa'. Your TennisTitan was happy with the level of his play even in defeat. Court coverage, as always, was the ultimate decider of this match. 'Big Daddy' added tinder to the fire when he reminded the ol' man, "Dad, I believe dinner is on you. And incidentally, aren't you always saying that Ground Hog Day is one of your favorite movies." TennisTitan is heading back to the friendly confines of Kinsley and his doubles partners mid week to get his game on track.
Posted by Your bloviating TennisTitan at 12:37 AM 0 comments
Friday, August 10, 2007
"Russell (?), no I'm Jeff."
Posted by Your bloviating TennisTitan at 10:14 AM 0 comments
Pooped PopPa
Posted by Your bloviating TennisTitan at 10:09 AM 0 comments
Remembering Chamberlain
"Dad, you always told me that Wilt was the dominant players of the 1960s in the NBA. Well, let's say, I am the dominant player between us in your 6o's!" The banal conciliatory comment of a triumphant son against his father upon completion of 'Big Daddy' Jeff Briscoe's (4-6) victory against the TennisTitan in the mid-day Florida sun at Blue Crab Key. The Titan wilted indeed in the 1oth game of a match that he crawled back into by dropping his service at love. TT had both placement and pace on his service and groundies during the competitively played set. Unfortunately for the pooped Poppa 'BD' had all the answers for the most part. Titan was forced to go deep into rallys against the far more mobile 30 year old father of three. 'BD' would hear none of PopPa's lame excuse for his defeat. "Don't be telling me that you are still tired from taking care of my brood for 12 hours yesterday. That would be like you telling me that you were once the dominant player between us - and that was 15 years ago. That's ancient history"
Posted by Your bloviating TennisTitan at 12:15 AM 0 comments
Saturday, August 04, 2007
Some Jerk Chicken
"Titan, mon, this ain't cricket." The stinging return from Clarence the 'Gazelle' Williams upon completion of his second set comeback (4-6) with 'RRR' against TennisTitan and Jean 'I Wanna Be a' Victor at Kinsley park this morning. Indeed, the 'bloated behemoth' had benefitted from the quick feet of the 'Gazelle' in the prior set (6-4) when he and TT eked out their cliff hanger against 'Rockin' Rick' Ricci/'I Wanna Be a' Victor. "But Gazelle, doesn't cricket have nine innings like baseball," TT pleaded to the smiling Jamaican master of the net. "Yes, my immobile friend, but it requires running just like American baseball. You seem to forget that on the field of play." Realizing that he had let a 4-3 advantage with TT slip away through fatigue and over hitting Jean chirped, 'Titan, Mr. Williams always seems to handle the pace on my shot, it seems I can not handle the pace of your feet! On the adjacent court 'Chemist' Hauss/'Gimpy Knees' Cruz completed their days work defeating Carl 'Spindly Legs' Gessman and George 'Teacher' Febles (6-1, 7-6 [3]) having opened their play with a (4-6) victory over 'Rockin' Rick and the 'bombastic bloviator.'
Posted by Your bloviating TennisTitan at 1:22 PM 0 comments
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Yentas and Sunday Gravy
"Titan, I think you could work for Mossad." Those sage words were uttered by Yossi 'Israeli Time' Newman upon completion of today's play at Edgemont HS. 'Israeli Time' had been on the receiving end of far too many of TT's blistering forehands that decimated the White Plains landlord's game. Your Titan had it all working this morning - from lasers down the alley, to painting the backhand corner - those groundies kept on coming! The 'bloviating blowhard' came out firing (save for his placement serve to the backhand) when he paired with 'Rockin' Rick Ricci in their two set romp ( 6-2, 6-1) over Tony 'no baloney' Guido/'Israeli Time.' The 'bombastic backhand bomber' flipped partners in the third set and gave his buddy 'Rockin' Rick' a sweet taste of pace (6-3) in Titan's coup d' gras with 'No baloney' Guido. As the two Italian's met at net for picture-time, Ricci opined to Guido, "Tony, I told the Titan I like paste, as in tomato paste in my sauce." Guido shot back, "Ricky, with all the talking Titan does on the court, do you expect him to hear very well." To wit the Semite added, "Titan, you kill in the alley, just like Mossad - but you yak like a yenta! Oh vey, which is worse?!"
Posted by Your bloviating TennisTitan at 11:16 AM 0 comments