"Titan, perhaps you should elect a 'pat down' rather than going through the metal detector" quipped 'Slats.' "Yeah" exclaimed the 'Chemist,' "why submit to the slightest bit of radiation when it's clear that your legs are never nears balls on the tennis court or elsewhere!" The victorious partners were having their due at picture time, basking in the sunny but chilly 4o degree temperature at Kinsley Park this windy morning. TennisTitan and the 'anonymous' Gas Man were swept (0-6, 4-6) to conclude their play together. The man once known as 'Speedy Legs' proffered, "bulbous buffoon' at least we won the opening set together. That (6-2) pounding we gave 'Rockin' Rick Ricci and Stan 'Capt. Fire' Nowak was a strong effort on our part." "Speedy, I mean Spindly Legs, the way you folded in the sets against 'Slats'/'Chemist' reminded me of a squeeze box. Your legs were those of an old accordionist sitting on a rickety three legged bar stool." To wit Frank 'Slats' Slattery added, "When you take your grandchildren to see Santa in Florida, don't forget to ask him for something for yourself." "And, pray tell, what would that be" rejoined the Titan. George 'Chemist' Hauss replied instantly,"For starters, I'd suggest some energy to chase down balls that drop in front of you."
"Titan, you must have played Black Jack at some point" quipped Bill 'Energizer Bunny Legs' Tully at the conclusion of play this afternoon at the Yonkers Tennis Center. "EBL' had put on the after burners in the second set leading the Tullyville Trolly and 'Big Al' Diodati to a resounding second set victory over the TennisTitan and Gene 'King'Slattery (1-6). The tandem also led (0-3 partial) in the third set when play was called mercifully by the encroaching Junior Tennis Program. 'Big Al' opined, "I told you, Titan it was an aberration when we lost both sets to you two weeks ago." "Make that three" chimed in the 'King.' Indeed, TT and 'My Liege' had taken today's opener in exquisite fashion (6-3) and appeared to be well on their way to another glorious double win afternoon. Titan had a strong first set but followed that with an error prone second. 'King' whose serve was untouchable two weeks back did not have consistency on his first serve and paid a price on his second serve in both contests. As the foursome met at net 'Big Al' inquired of his partner, "Bill, you don't look like much of a gambler, whether on the tennis courts or down in Atlantic City.What are you talking about?" "I'm not' admitted the the 'Crestwood Comet.' It's just that sometimes when you split 'Kings,' like the Titan did this afternoon, you go bust once in awhile. "Slattery had an ace beside in that first set, but was stuck with a joker for the rest of the afternoon."
"Titan, even a fireman can't save you" cackled 'Dave the Rave,' TennisTitan had just suffered his third consecutive defeat at Kinsley on this beautiful fall morning. 'Dave the Rave' paired with Rob 'Jersey Bomber' Briscoe for (2-6, 3-6) victories over the 'mammoth misanthrope' and Stan 'Captain Fire' Nowak. "Hey, 'Rave,' my performance was no act for you to follow. "The Captain here is making his first appearance at Kinsley in several months. He threw in more doubles today than his crew downs at the 'house' after a busy night in the south Bronx" retorted the 'bombastic blowhard.' The 'Jersey Bomber' quipped, "Uncle Tom, it was smart of you to give him the hook after your third set, because I went up the ladder at net for you so often in that final set (7-5) comeback victory against the 'Rave' and George 'Chemist' Hauss that my back is hurting now. "Rob, you're just blowing smoke. You just don't want to finish that set of singles we started (4-2 partial) because I had fire in my game earlier" rejoined the 'unctuous uncle.' 'Chemist' interjected, "Titan, that (1-6) beating you took at the hands of Dave 'Big Daddy' Lipscomb and 'Big Al' Diodati pales in comparison to the loss the entire Kinsley Krew feels with the passing of Lou 'Pistol' Gerencser." "Amen to that" chorused the group.
"But Max, what did you expect!? Bill would have had to have the back surgery, not you, to make a difference in the outcome." Such was the wisdom proffered by the 'mendacious masochist' who submits himself to the physical abuse meted out by Bill 'Energizer Bunny Legs' Tully and whomever he pairs with. Today was another case in point. TennisTitan played his predictably decent game in an effort to provide worthy opposition to the Tullyville Trolley who chugs along effectively regardless of the shortcomings of his partner. There is no such margin of error for the Titan in these circumstances. 'Big Al' Diodati paired with the 'overbearing oaf' in the first two sets and was vastly outplayed by the 'Russian Rocket' Vladimir, 'don't call me 'Russkie' (today) Kartsev. Those 'easy points' 'Big Al' missed at net became godsends before the afternoon was over. The (1-6, 0-6) shellacking had the Titan remarking to the 'taunting Tutor' on the sidelines, "Max, Bill must think I am Democrat, like 'Big Al' with the beating he's giving us." The 'contentious Conservative's strong play was well matched by the 'Russian Rocket' in a third set that was played to near completion. TT/'RR finished at (5-5 partial) and the Titan had the chance to serve it out with "RR" sitting passively on the lauching pad. As the teams met at net Max 'Tutor' Tuchman reflected upon all that he had observed during the ninety minutes of play and opined, "Titan, why don't you give me the camera. You haven't made a shot all day. Why start now?"
"I don't want to hear it ever again: commented George 'Chemist' Hauss at picture time. The Bunsen Burner Man was reacting to the oft heard refrain from the 'blathering blubber mouth,' "Titan never double faults." 'Chemist' is no mathematician but he can certainly count the seven (7) doubles the 'bloated blowhard' threw in during this mornings play at windy Kinsley Park. The days action started out so promisingly with TT/'Chemist' cruising to a (6-2) victory in the opener against 'Happy Jack' Carey and 'Dave the Rave.' The good fortune continued into the first half of the second set against 'Big Al' Diodati and Frank 'Slats' Slattery when TT's serve deserted him. With the 'Chemist' misfiring his forehand long with increasing regularity and the 'immobile minotaur' living up to his moniker, it was no surprise that 'Big Al/'Slats' salvaged their only win of the day with a (4-6) triumph that was the harbinger of worse things to come. The (2-6) shellacking administered by the gleeful tandem of 'Dave the Rave/Carl the 'anonymous gas man' was about all the 'Chemist' could stomach. "Titan, have you got squatters rights on that three yard circumference you patrol? You threw more serves into the net than Obama has reasons for the the republican landslide. Have I communicated that effectively to you? Do you need a press conference with softball questions to explain why you don't run?" TennisTitan retorted, "Calm down Georgie, have some calamine Tea when you get home. I don't want to be a Party to your having a nervous breakdown. Watch some more MSNBC. Mostly Stupid Nitwits Betraying the Country." 'Dave the Rave' shot back, "Go FOX yourself, Titan, you lost here and that's what counts."
Today TennisTitan returned to the indoor battle ground with notably different results. Titan paired with Gene 'King' Slattery for two sets of scintillating tennis against 'Big Al' Diodati and Bill 'Energizer Bunny Legs' Tully. Unlike Wednesday's double defeat your erstwhile 'blogging bullshitter' grabbed the brass ring in this afternoon's contest at the Yonkers Tennis Center. The 'King and I' was not only a Broadway smash hit 50 years ago but was an exercise in doubles domination (6-3, 6-2) this rainy afternoon. As always Titan flourishes when cast in the role of support player. 'My liege' dominated on his serve and was extremely effective coming to the net in both these hotly contested sets. TT very ably complemented 'King's aggressive style with precision returns of serves and timely volleying at net in both winning efforts. The 'nettlesome nitwit' impressively assisted 'EBL' to a near third set win (5-2 partial) when 'Big Al' teamed with the 'King.' At photo time 'EBL' opined, "Titan, I thought for sure the reason I lost the first two sets had to be due to the play of the 'King' with little regard to your contribution. But after our strong showing together against the 'King' and 'Big Al' I may have to reconsider. 'Big Al' quipped "next week will tell the story for sure, but like always the 'medacious motor mouth' will be a 'lying lout' in today's 'bloviating blog.'
TennisTitan returned to the Kinsley battle grounds for the first time in a month this beautiful fall afternoon. The Titan paired with John the 'Neck' Manzi for a two set defeat at the hands of Bob 'Kraut' Kluge and Vladimir 'Russkie' Kartsev (3-6, 4-6). The 'bombastic blowhard' was particularly sluggish afoot and the 'Neck' had a poor day at net leading to the unhappy outcome. That having been said 'Russkie' far exceeded his usual level of play and was highly instrumental in securing both victories. TT was ineffective during his service games and 'Neck' was caught time and again by the fortuitous mishits and lobs of the Russian immigrant. Trailing 3-4 in the second set TT/'Neck' were unable to take advantage of the departure of the 'Kraut' who had covered ground so effectively on the baseline. 'The 'Prozac Kid,' Chris Tyrone, secured the victory with some fine defense in the tenth and final game sending the 'bloated bumbler' home with two more loses and two throbbing legs. As the foursome met at net, fittingly, the Titan's camera faltered causing the 'blushing Bolshevik' to exclaim "Titan, double A batteries for your camera, but may I suggest you need a 12 volt deep cell marine battery for your legs."
