Family Feud

"Look at this. The 'Jersey Bomber' is trying to wrest credit from me. I'll teach him."

Another 'NMF'!

"Come on Jack.You know it was your fault. It's NEVER MY FAULT."

Out of the mouth of babes...

"Titan, 'not Espn' is my friend and neightbor... not a 'back stabber' like yourself."

Mixed Doubles!

"Titan, if you've rested enough take this photo in 'black and white.'

Chip off the ol' Block

The phone rang persistently from a NJ number on Tuesday morning May 3rd before the Titan decided he better pick it up. TennisTitan was being called to task by the 'Jersey Bomber.' "What's up old man? I display my finest tennis this past Saturday at Kinsley and you choose somehow not to blog it," queried a 'naughty nephew.' "I travel 120 miles round trip to be your legs in those (6-2, 6-4) victories over 'Happy Jack' Carey and Stuart 'not Espn' Scott and your arthritic fingers can't find the keyboard. The crew knows you're slow as molasses on the court but usually very quick on the blog write up. Now you're telling me you're fresh out of ideas to explain your (2-6) opening set pounding by George 'Chemist' Hauss and 'Dave the Rave." "Why don't you just tell your readers that I couldn't get to the park until 10:30 and so you were stuck with 'Hapless Jack' as your partner in that one. And don't forget to mention that while you sat your sorry, fat ass on the bench I proceeded to win my final two sets (6-0, 6-2) with partners 'Dave the Rave' and the 'Chemist' crowed Rob "Jersey Bomber' Briscoe.

"I can't beat him on the court...

but the blog's another story."

The Black Russian

"Can't you just picture him in a John Le Carr novel... the document dump...the missile secrets... a double agent assassin. Scary!"

Just being a Wise Guy...

"I can never say anything bad about 'Big Al.' Working all these years in construction, I think he's mobbed up."

Tonsorial Tennis

"I figured you needed a goodbye present" chortled the 'Tullyville Trolley' his mouth agape. TennisTitan made his last scheduled appearance of the indoor season at the YTC this date playing his final set along side Bill ' Energizer Bunny Legs' Tully (6-1) rather than opposing him. 'Big Al' Diodati threw the Titan the life raft after he and the 'tireless Tipperarian' bageled (0-6) the 'lumbering loud mouth' and Vladimir 'Russkie' Kartsev. The 'Italian Stallion'/TT had dropped the opening set (2-6) to 'EBL'/'Russian Rocket.' "Bulbous blowhard, you suffered so many defeats at the hands of 'Big Al' and I this season as we stood idly on the baseline while Bill dominated at the net and patrolled the open court, we thought you should have the chance to be his team mate one time" opined 'Russkie.' 'Did you learn anything playing behind him 'Tommy TrashTalk' inquired 'Big Al.' Titan quipped, "there are no holes in his game guys, but that's not true with his hair. I now know he has the beginnings of a bald spot."

My Passover Pal

"Funny thing is - my parents wanted me to be a rabbi - who knew?"

'Tutor' tootin' his Shofar

"Now listen. I've been a Jew almost 75 years. I know more about the Haggadah than someone who converted 75 minutes ago."

Genteel Gentiles

"Our EXODUS says 'we won two more.' That's all that counts to us."

My Bondage

"Titan, it took the Jews hundreds of years to get out of Egypt. Be patient" cracked Max 'Tutor Tuchman. The 'impatient idiot' wanted to know how much longer it would be before Titan/'Tutor' could expect to defeat the tandem of 'Big Al' Diodati and Bill 'Energizer Bunny Legs' Tully. "But Max, you said that this afternoon would be different from all other afternoons when we played them" continued the 'boorish baseliner.' The (2-6, 1-6) result would not so indicate. "Titan you just don't understand. Today I made you a Jew. You attended your first Seder" Max explained at net. "How was that, Tutor" inquired 'Big Al.' 'EBl' said, "Titan is clearly enslaved by his love of tennis and his particular desire to beat us, Al. And since he is the youngest among us, he must ask the ritualistic question: why this afternoon is like no other afternoons." "That's perceptive of you Bill, any other ideas?" "I have one" interjected 'Big Al.' "Titan hits the ball so flat, it is like matzoh when it comes over the net, never rising." "And his running commentary during the match is, like matzoh, 'so tasteless' too" added the Tullyville Trolley. "All very true" continued the 'rallying rabbi' but you miss the most essential part of TT's conversation to Judaism today." "First of all, it is a blessing that Titan writes his stupid blog that we enjoy. And part of any good Seder meal is the bitter herb. Need I say more given his snide remarks. But most importantly during the match he serves such a good whine."

Muy caliente y muy frio

"Poor 'Gimpy Knees,'...last week he forgets his jacket; today, he just wants to forget."

The choice was his...

"Big Al,' with me you won so much more easily" (6-1) pleaded the 'insolent idler.'

American Idol

"Sorry, Titan - I'll take the 'Chemist' every time. over the 'Arrogant Idle."

Parting Shot

"Titan, all I know is that I run less with this 86 year old man than with you as my partner."

Before the Storm

"Titan, with an inch of rain expected later today, your tears now won't make a bit of difference" crowed 'Big Al' Diodati who with George 'Chemist' Hauss held on to win the final set (6-7 [6]) in a nail biting finish. It was fitting that the most competitive set of this dreary, windy Saturday morning would involve TennisTitan pairing with 'su amigo' Joe 'Gimpy Knees Cruz. Trailing 2-4 the Puerto Rican dandy showed flashes of his once dominant ability at Kinsley. GK's power forehand and crisp volleys had put TT in a position to close it out leading 6-5 in the finale. But three times the 'Italian Stallion' faced set point on his serve, only to survive and force the breaker. Down 1-5 in the tiebreaker TT/GK rallied to gain another set point that was also squandered just prior to a 'Chemist' put-away of TT's return of a well placed Diodati serve. In typical Titan fashion the 'egotistical egomaniac' attempted to bask in the 'stallion's shadow' at picture time reminding the 'Chemist' that TT had led 'Big Al' to a smashing (6-1) triumph over the tandem of the Sab 'Koide Kid' and Frank 'Slats' Slattery in the opening set. "Need I remind you, 'otiose oaf,' that Senor Cruz and I roasted your plantains (1-6) when you and the 'Italian Stallion' faced real opposition in the second set" retorted the 'Bunsen Burner'

Jersey Bomber

"I was a C.P.A. in that second set. Confident, Patient, Athletic!

Tired and Retired

"Nothing like a good return, right fellow tax payers?"