The Wizards of Oz

"A bit tacky, wouldn't you say Jono" remarked Nick 'the Quick' Davis to his partner Jonathan Coleman at the completion of play at King Albert Park in South Melbourne this evening." "This bloke has been here a fortnight and all we've heard from him is 'Titan this, Titan that...let's play tennis' retorted 'Jonkeroo' to his mate. "He's got  more piss in him than any Sydneysider this side of Bondi. I'd say Titan's comments boomeranged on him as evidenced by his poor results, mate" commented the man known as the 'Hobbit' to his house mates in Carleton. "Don't have a 'cranky' quipped Russ 'Hoya Saxa' Briscoe to his work mates at Meltwater. The ol' man did contribute a middy in our (6-3) first set victory over you Aussies." "But then the Titan went on a walkabout" crowed 'Nick the Quick' in his best Bilbo Baggins voice." "London to a brick.!" "The Titan is nothing more than an earbasher" exclaimed a 'jovial Jonkeroo.' "He's not the full quid' if the TennisTitan thinks he can spin a first set win into a successful night of tennis. The bloke won only two games in the next three sets (1-6, 1-6, 0-6). "Bilbo, if  you'd had gotten off your date in the last set and played half as well as you did with Jonkeroo I wouldn't feel so stonkered whined the 'yabbeing yobbo Yank.' The Titan is nothing more than what we Aussies call a 'Figjam' but we knew that before the first ball. "At least he gave it a "fair go" rationalized 'Hoya Saxa'  "No worries, mate, anytime TennisTitan wants to pay for the court, it's a ripper of a day!" chorused the Wizards of Oz. "Just tell him not to play 'footy!'