The 'Dirty' Pool

"And he thinks he's happy that he's going home" nurse Margie was telling her relief, nurse Kimmy as the gurney was wheeled to the elevator by the ambulance team. The Patient Care Assistants in attendance were high fiving one another as they began to check the unit stat board on the 7th floor of the Hospital for Special Surgery, to see who had won their informal pool. "I administered the most" declared the Chinese born Noy who notched four. "But mine lasted the longest and he never made it to the bathroom" insisted the Tibetan, Nyima, who settled for three commode opportunities in Titan's 11 day hospitalization. Big, burly Sean, who could have been a nose tackle at Penn State, quipped, "but my three generated the greatest volume and I work third shift. What fun! I wake him up. He thinks he's to get pain killers, instead he gets another type of pain." The Ukrainian head nurse, Katya asked, "Titan who should get your "Asshole Artist Award?" Tell us before you go. We won't see your sad, sorry, albeit sore butt again" "Sorry guys," retorted Titan, "you're all great, but anesthetist nurse, Joyce in I.C.U. takes homes the bronze bedpan. She administered that noxious enematic Neostigmine two days ago downstairs. She brought me back from a cold, clammy, white tunnel when my heart beat dropped from 72 bpm to 30bpm in 90 seconds with a quick injection of Atropine. Can't help but love a girl who monitors a guy's heart. The staff here are all winners." Vladimir, the discharge nurse, turned to Dr.Weinberg, resident gastroenterologist, and bemoaned "Damn, I forgot to note persistent diarrhea of the mouth on Titan's plan."