"Titan, perhaps you should elect a 'pat down' rather than going through the metal detector" quipped 'Slats.' "Yeah" exclaimed the 'Chemist,' "why submit to the slightest bit of radiation when it's clear that your legs are never nears balls on the tennis court or elsewhere!" The victorious partners were having their due at picture time, basking in the sunny but chilly 4o degree temperature at Kinsley Park this windy morning. TennisTitan and the 'anonymous' Gas Man were swept (0-6, 4-6) to conclude their play together. The man once known as 'Speedy Legs' proffered, "bulbous buffoon' at least we won the opening set together. That (6-2) pounding we gave 'Rockin' Rick Ricci and Stan 'Capt. Fire' Nowak was a strong effort on our part." "Speedy, I mean Spindly Legs, the way you folded in the sets against 'Slats'/'Chemist' reminded me of a squeeze box. Your legs were those of an old accordionist sitting on a rickety three legged bar stool." To wit Frank 'Slats' Slattery added, "When you take your grandchildren to see Santa in Florida, don't forget to ask him for something for yourself." "And, pray tell, what would that be" rejoined the Titan. George 'Chemist' Hauss replied instantly,"For starters, I'd suggest some energy to chase down balls that drop in front of you."
"Titan, you must have played Black Jack at some point" quipped Bill 'Energizer Bunny Legs' Tully at the conclusion of play this afternoon at the Yonkers Tennis Center. "EBL' had put on the after burners in the second set leading the Tullyville Trolly and 'Big Al' Diodati to a resounding second set victory over the TennisTitan and Gene 'King'Slattery (1-6). The tandem also led (0-3 partial) in the third set when play was called mercifully by the encroaching Junior Tennis Program. 'Big Al' opined, "I told you, Titan it was an aberration when we lost both sets to you two weeks ago." "Make that three" chimed in the 'King.' Indeed, TT and 'My Liege' had taken today's opener in exquisite fashion (6-3) and appeared to be well on their way to another glorious double win afternoon. Titan had a strong first set but followed that with an error prone second. 'King' whose serve was untouchable two weeks back did not have consistency on his first serve and paid a price on his second serve in both contests. As the foursome met at net 'Big Al' inquired of his partner, "Bill, you don't look like much of a gambler, whether on the tennis courts or down in Atlantic City.What are you talking about?" "I'm not' admitted the the 'Crestwood Comet.' It's just that sometimes when you split 'Kings,' like the Titan did this afternoon, you go bust once in awhile. "Slattery had an ace beside in that first set, but was stuck with a joker for the rest of the afternoon."
"Titan, even a fireman can't save you" cackled 'Dave the Rave,' TennisTitan had just suffered his third consecutive defeat at Kinsley on this beautiful fall morning. 'Dave the Rave' paired with Rob 'Jersey Bomber' Briscoe for (2-6, 3-6) victories over the 'mammoth misanthrope' and Stan 'Captain Fire' Nowak. "Hey, 'Rave,' my performance was no act for you to follow. "The Captain here is making his first appearance at Kinsley in several months. He threw in more doubles today than his crew downs at the 'house' after a busy night in the south Bronx" retorted the 'bombastic blowhard.' The 'Jersey Bomber' quipped, "Uncle Tom, it was smart of you to give him the hook after your third set, because I went up the ladder at net for you so often in that final set (7-5) comeback victory against the 'Rave' and George 'Chemist' Hauss that my back is hurting now. "Rob, you're just blowing smoke. You just don't want to finish that set of singles we started (4-2 partial) because I had fire in my game earlier" rejoined the 'unctuous uncle.' 'Chemist' interjected, "Titan, that (1-6) beating you took at the hands of Dave 'Big Daddy' Lipscomb and 'Big Al' Diodati pales in comparison to the loss the entire Kinsley Krew feels with the passing of Lou 'Pistol' Gerencser." "Amen to that" chorused the group.
"But Max, what did you expect!? Bill would have had to have the back surgery, not you, to make a difference in the outcome." Such was the wisdom proffered by the 'mendacious masochist' who submits himself to the physical abuse meted out by Bill 'Energizer Bunny Legs' Tully and whomever he pairs with. Today was another case in point. TennisTitan played his predictably decent game in an effort to provide worthy opposition to the Tullyville Trolley who chugs along effectively regardless of the shortcomings of his partner. There is no such margin of error for the Titan in these circumstances. 'Big Al' Diodati paired with the 'overbearing oaf' in the first two sets and was vastly outplayed by the 'Russian Rocket' Vladimir, 'don't call me 'Russkie' (today) Kartsev. Those 'easy points' 'Big Al' missed at net became godsends before the afternoon was over. The (1-6, 0-6) shellacking had the Titan remarking to the 'taunting Tutor' on the sidelines, "Max, Bill must think I am Democrat, like 'Big Al' with the beating he's giving us." The 'contentious Conservative's strong play was well matched by the 'Russian Rocket' in a third set that was played to near completion. TT/'RR finished at (5-5 partial) and the Titan had the chance to serve it out with "RR" sitting passively on the lauching pad. As the teams met at net Max 'Tutor' Tuchman reflected upon all that he had observed during the ninety minutes of play and opined, "Titan, why don't you give me the camera. You haven't made a shot all day. Why start now?"
