Your TennisTitan continued on his roll this morning on the Kinsley Courts. The 'immobile minotaur' partook in four sets of doubles this date and came away victorious in all of them. Titan first paired with Carl 'Speeedy Legs' Gessman for two sets. TT/'SL' had much too much for the tandems of Frank 'Slats' Slattery and 'Big Al' DioDati (6-1). Next up, Bob 'Kraut' Kluge and 'Happy Jack' Carey who were shown the door at (6-2). With the departure of 'the Speedy One' the non paying crowd of Portuguese Americans on playing Courts 2 and 4 came to a stand still to watch the 'boisterous blowhard' hold serve with 'Slats' as his patner at (7-5) to close out the comback attempt by 'Kraut'/'Big Al' who had been down 5-3. The 'Yonkers Yakker' had much to crow about in the fourth and final set as he and 'Slats' swept to an easy defeat of the 'Kraut/'Happy Jack' tandem (6-2). As the teams met at net Der Klugemeister, seldom a three set loser, opined, "Titan, your best play today was when you picked your partners." 'Happy Jack' winced and responded, "Bobby, I wish I could say the same. I almost miss George 'Chemist' Hauss on a day like this." 'Slats' chimed in, "Titan you always said the 'third set was about heart,' but in that fourth set, we were absolutely 'heartless to them!"
Your TennisTitan joined forces with 'Big Al' Diodati at the Yonkers Tennis Center and went from heartbreak to heartthrob during the three sets played against Joe 'Gimpy Knees' Cruz and Vladimir 'Russkie' Kartsev. The 'bloated behemoth'/'Big Al' held a commanding 5-3 lead in the opener and were unable to close it out. 'GK'/'Russkie' rallied to force a tie breaker and played the critical points more effectively to come away with a (6-7 [4]) victory. But even more surprising than this disappointing defeat to the half dozen junior tennis players ringing court one was the total transformation and domination of play that occurred in the last forty minutes of play. Can you say 'goose eggs' on a roll, or more descriptively, "Joe and Vlad do not have to share, they'll each have their own bagel" as 'TT'/'Big Al' reeled off twelve (12) games in a row to rout 'Russkie'/'GK' (6-0, 6-0). "We were so hot" quipped the Italian Stallion, "that Vlad put sun tan lotion on his ashen skin and Joe thought he was back on a beach in Puerto Rico." At picture time Titan meekly inquired, "Russkie, since you had the bagel, I'll make the toast, God bless America, pass the Stoli."
"Hey, Titan, you left me holding the bag" charged Frank 'Slats' Slattery as the Titan made his way to the car. TT had paired with 'Slats' in the one set Titan played to completion. The bombastic bloviator'/'Slats' thrashed George 'Chemist' Hauss and 'Happy Jack' Carey (6-1). Bob 'Kraut' Kluge joined forces with 'Happy Jack' against the tandem of 'Slats'/'Chemist for another (6-1) spanking as the Titan elected to walk his yapping dogs, Tully and O'Reilly. For the final set TT opened as the 'Chemist' partner against 'Kraut' and Carl 'Speedy Legs' Gessman. Trailing love-four TT stepped aside for the prearranged re-entry onto the court of 'Slats.' As the 'immobile minotaur' opened the door to allow the Bichons in the backseat, he fired a perfect ace of bagged dog feces into the nearby receptacle. "No, Frankie, it is I who was left holding the bag. And I got rid of it! It's your job to spoil the bagel. Now that you've gotten rid of me."
The TennisTitan returned to the Yonkers Tennis Center for two wonderfully, competitive sets against Bill 'EBL' Tully and Vladimir 'Russkie' Kartsev. The 'boisterous blowhard' joined forces with Hanibal 'Caballero' Mistorni subbing for the absent 'Big Al' DioDati. TT/'Caballero' suffered a let down in the second set allowing for a nice comeback by the opposition (6-4, 3-6, 1-2 partial) from a 3-1 deficit. 'Russkie's serve improved dramatically as the games progressed and 'EBL' began to more effectively find the range at the feet of the Argentinian craftsman. The 'blogging bullshitter' acquitted himself well throughout the match, engaging in several long rallies with 'Energizer Bunny Legs.' Hanibal's serve continues to be a significant part of his game. The 'Caballero' remains quick to and at the net. As the crew met at net when time expired, Titan quipped to Tully and Kartsev, "Hanibal was my AIG bailout this afternoon: 'He's Argentinian, he's Intense on the court, but, most importantly, he's Good!" And he saved my ass from another double defeat!!!
"Titan, what's this that 'You are an I.C.B.M.' The cold war is over, comrade" implored 'Russkie' at the conclusion of play at the Yonkers Tennis Center. But the 'whining wanna-be' was taking no prisoners after another annihilation between the white lines (2-6, 4-6, 1-2 partial). Titan/'Russkie' were no match for John 'Irish' Gallagher and Tom 'Fireman' Conaty. Vladimir Kartsev did not have the game that distinguished itself so well last Thursday. But then again, he did not have a partner to cover his inability to anticipate returns or minimize the use of his backhand. TT was able to remain in rallies with the 'Fireman' but lacked the fire power to close out points against the speed and athleticism of the retired 'hose holder.' The unforced error always seemed inevitable once the ball went to 'Russkie's off hand or a volley was called for. 'Irish' more than held his own against the 'red menace.' As the foursome met at net 'Russkie' darted to the exit declaring, "Titan, you are no rocket, no matter what you call yourself! I have the A.B.M. system in place when I am your partner: 'All Balls Missed.' The 'boisterous blowhard' then went nuclear, "Russkie, remember: I.C.B.M.' I Can't Blame Me!" The 'Fireman' turned to Irish and with a twinkle in his eyes whispered "I had heard of the St. Valentine's Day massacre, not the Paddy's Day slaughter."
