"Tommy Boy, I told you my father was a baker but he wouldn't have anything to do with bagels," proclaimed Bob 'Kraut' Kluge upon completion of his second set with TennisTitan. Der Klugemeister had held his service at 0-5 to avert the shutout (1-6) against 'Rockin' Rick Ricci and Gene 'King' Slattery. The 'bloated behemoth'/'Kraut' had captured their first set against 'RRR'/'King' (7-5). The weary 'immobile minotaur' had replicated his results obtained earlier in the day as 'Happy Jack' Carey's partner; first against 'RRR/'King' Gene (2-6) and then against Carl 'Speedy Legs' Gessman and Stuart 'not Espn' Scott (7-5) at Kinsley in windy conditions. As the foursome met at net King remarked, "Kraut, you look quite fit, what with you having to load and unload cases upon cases of Pepsi on your truck route out in Chicago." Quipped 'Rockin,' "Not fit enough to carry the 'Over-Stuffed Avocado' he had as a partner today." 'Union rules!' rejoined 'Kraut,' "no loads wider than the hand-truck, no egos bigger than a two liter, all items must be able to return, not be readily broken, and served to the public in a timely fashion. That's not the Titan."
Does that sound Canadian enough? TennisTitan paired with Frank 'Slats' Slattery for two sizzling sets of doubles at Amackassin Tennis Club on the clay this date. Mike 'Canuck' Edwards and 'Rockin' Rick Ricci were formidable opponents . 'Canuck' is a top ranked 'B' class player at Amackassin who hails from Montreal. 'RRR' was a steady contributor in both sets with timely volleys and short sliced back hands. The 'bombastic blowhard'/ 'Slats' droppped the opener (3-6). 'Canuck' worked over 'Slats' two handed back hand like a pizza man kneading his dough, pinning and pushing Frankie to the baseline and sideline regularly. 'Slats' bricked many a volley at net and lacked the capacity to carry the 'immobile minotaur' to victory in set two (4-5 partial). Titan fared better in set three as 'Happy Jack' Carey stepped in for the departing Les Habitant to pair with TT against 'Slats'/RRR in a highly competitive match. 'HJ' stepped up and rallied his partner from a 2-4 deficit to send the set to a tie breaker. In the breaker 'Happy Jack' swarmed the net with his gangling arms to lead the Titan to his only victory of the day (7-6 [3]). As the group met at net 'HJ' remarked, "Call me last minute anytime, Titan. With the kind of help Frankie gives his partners around here, you'll need a dispatcher to find someone to play with him! But it'll my pleasure to be at your side." 'RRR' quipped, "Jack, you mean you like to play with TennisTitan?" 'Slats' chortled, "Rick, Titan has already proclaimed 'Jack has no court sense.'
"Titan, maybe seizures and a memory loss can be a good thing." Such was the caustic (backhand) comment emitted by Stuart 'not ESPN' Scott as he concluded his day's play as TT's partner. 'Not ESPN' had just reversed the fortunes of the 'bloated behemoth'/'not ESPN' combo with their second set thumping (6-3) of the new Amackassin Assassins, Frank 'Slats' Slattery and 'Happy Jack' Carey. TennisTitan had watched incredulously as 'not ESPN's backhands had hit the bottom of the twine and his put-away volleys clang off the rear fence in 'Slats'/'HJ's easy victory (2-6) in the opener. "Titan, you see, in set two, I seized the moment and managed to forget how woeful YOU played in the first set. How's that for a backhand, you boisterous, braggadocios, bloviating blowhard?!" opined Stuart as the 'bellyaching bullshitter' explained that Titan would be pairing with a newbie, Mighty Mike in the third set. And what a third set it was! Can you say riveting!? TT/'MM' took the Cousins Slattery - 'King Gene' and his minion Frank - to the tie breaker (7-6 [3]). As this quartet met at net 'Mighty Mike' exclaimed, "Titan, playing with you, one most certainly gets his exercise in!" TT quickly retorted, "Mike, how about getting your serve in! To wit 'Slats' chimed in "And keep your laser returns away from my glasses next time. You know I can't see anyhow" as he wiped the blood away from his brow.
"We don't remember our gym teacher looking like that; but then again, we don't remember much at all anymore."
"School's out'' yelled the TennisTitan as he completed his morning's play up at Edgemont HS this date. The 'pompous puppet' (see yesterday's blog) along with Ed 'Lean, Lanky, Lefty' Gordon, 'Rockin' Rick Ricci and Tony 'No Baloney' Guido were bumped by the tennis physical education class midway into their third set. The boys were each taking a turn pairing with 'LLL' to keep the competitive balance. TT dropped the first set (3-6) teaming with Ed. The 'bloated behemoth'/'No Baloney' limited 'RRR's total to two games (6-2) when he played along side 'LLL' in set number two. The group had been warned shortly after 9AM that they would have to vacate the court at 9:30 with the arrival of the next scheduled class. 'NB'/'LLL' trailed (2-1, on serve) when the gym teacherette tooted her whistle. As the quartet met at net 'No Baloney' remarked, "Ed, Ms. Phy. ED. looks like the kinda Ed I'd like to partner with." To wit 'RRR' chortled, "Yeah, Titan she's 'LLL' too. Luscious, Lithesome and ah..." "Rick, get your Libido in check the next time we play" interrupted the 'bombastic bloviator.'
"EBL, every artist needs an easel" was how TennisTitan summed up his contribution to today's effort at the Yonkers Tennis Center. The 'bloated behemoth' had the good fortune to pair with Bill 'Energizer Bunny Legs' Tully against the venerable Max 'Tutor' Tuchman and Lenny 'Java Man' Cooper who was a last minute sub for Mr Spin. TT rode the Tully gravy train to impressive (6-1, 6-0) victories in the two sets that were played to completion. EBL was in fine form early on, covering the net voraciously on TT's serve and patrolling the baseline efficiently on his service. 'Tutor'/'Java Man' insisted on remaining a team for the truncated third set and left the court with a 2-4 lead in games. As the boys met at net for post match repartee and pictures Tutor remarked, "Titan, you always said the third set was about heart - see I told you my bi-pass surgery was more your problem than mine." Java Man replied, "EBL, hitting against you is like me supplying StarBucks with their top-of-the-line Mocha; your partner here is like Taster's Choice Instant. One you savor, one you just tolerate." Tully retorted, "Lenny, Costello had Abbott, Allen had Burns, and you had Max. For me it's not so easy. Think of me as Paul Winchell or Edgar Bergen!" To wit Titan remarked, "I am a support player WOODn't you say?
