"Titan, you selected from column A, B, and C. And you lost 'em all. You must have eaten a misFortune cookie today!"
Titan traveled to tony Chappaqua to develop some new tennis contacts this date. TennisTitan, a member of the Westchester Tennis Meetup Group this past year, had recently made email contact with Leo "the Lion" Leung through the group. The 'Lion' arranged a doubles game pitting Titan with two of Leo's regulars - Phil 'Patrician' Paris and Bobby 'Chessmaster' Fisher at the Old Farms Condo tennis complex. TennisTitan got skunked - dropping all four sets ( 4-6, 0-6, 3-6, 4-6) as he rotated through the players. Titan seemed to bring out the worse in each of his partners, as each' level dropped when called upon to carry the 'bloated behemoth' this date. All sets, save the second, were competitive with the winning team breaking through in the penultimate game to serve for the set. TT did nothing to distinguish himself amid these players of comparable ability. Truth be told, the tennis was significantly affected by the windy conditions that played havoc on serves and returns that were more than one foot above the net. As the foursome met at net 'Patrician' opined, "Titan, we'd invite you back, but Bill Clinton already brings too much riprap into our upscale neighborhood." Our host at the Old Farms condo, the 'Chessmaster' quipped, "Yeah, Titan, Hillary even dresses better than you. And you have the same legs!" My new buddy, 'Lion' Leung gave me pause entering my car when he said "Titan, you're lucky that I am Chinese. Here it is only a few minutes after I beat you three times, and I already want to beat you again!"
"Titan, no partner wants to play two consecutive sets with you unless they have supplemental medical insurance, medicare is not enough" was the taunt hurled by Frank 'Slats' Slattery as he jocularly entered his car. TennisTitan was witnessing the meltdown in the second set of the 'Pistol' who had supported TT in their first set (6-2) victory over George 'Chemist' Hauss and 'Big Al' Diodati. 'Rockin' Rick stepped in for 'Big Al' with the 'Chemist' for set 2 (TT's 4th of the day) and they came off the ropes to flatten the 'lethargic loudmouth' (2-6) and a tired 'Pistol' to cap a wonderful day of tennis at Kinsley Park in ideal conditions. 'Rockin' Rick's "You see, 'bombastic blowhard,' it's not me, it's YOU" snickered 'RRR' as he put away set point. Titan had pled his case unsuccessfully earlier in the morning when he paired with 'RRR' against 'Chemist'/'Big Al' in their opening set victory (6-4) before dropping their second set together (4-6) to Joe 'Gimpy Knees' Cruz and Sab 'Koide Kid'. 'RRR' would have none of TT's "Rick rhymes with brick" nonsense that the Titan insisted was the cause of their upset loss. With a total of 10 players on hand there was continuous doubles action on two courts. 'GK'/'KK' (5-7, 6-4, 7-6) were an effective pairing. 'Slats'/'Happy Jack' justified their poor results (7-5, 3-6, 6-7) with "we didn't get a chance to fatten our record against the 'Tortuous Tortoise!' 'Spindly Legs' claimed "I played one set and won(6-3 with 'Pistol'). Titan how come you don't know when to quit!?"
"Titan, do you think this sweatshirt had anything to do with my (girlish) play today?
"Titan, you didn't expect him to abdicate did you?" said Frank 'Slats' Slattery after he and TennisTitan had withstood the late second set charge made by Gene 'King' Slattery and Carl 'Spindly Legs' Gessman. Nonetheless, it was an overthrow of a head of state. TT and 'Slats' had opened up a 5-0 lead with TT serving at 40-15 when the roof sprung a leak, so to speak. Just like last weekend's nor'easter that brought monsoon rains into Titan's center hall foyer, 'my liege' poured it on in an effort to retain his kingship at Kinsley. Thirty minutes later Titan was exalting for all in the neighborhood to hear, "Nobody denies Titan 13 set points and lives to brag about it" (12? maybe) as TT/'Slats' completed their 2 set sweep (6-3, 7-6). It was even sweeter breaking the 'King's service (no tie breaker) to close it out. Titan had stopped the hemorrhaging to draw even at 6-6. Titan and 'Slats' - a once formidable doubles combo- during the mid and late '90's, were once again a force to be reckoned with. On lookers from the vaunted Amackassin Tennis Club were left agape as they witnessed one of their club's top dogs succumb to the 'boisterous blowhard.' Titan and 'Slats' completed their day's work together by outlasting George 'Chemist' Hauss and Joe 'Gimpy Knees' Cruz in a third set (6-4). As the group gathered at net for the bloviator's picture taking, 'Chemist' remarked, "Wasn't it King George who abdicated the throne of Great Britain to marry a divorcee in the '30's?" Titan remarked, "George, you were divorced - but that' it - you are the 'Chemist' as chants of "Please join our club" redounded in the Titan's ears.
"Ahem, ah...Titan I believe I just took the Pepsi Challenge - and passed! Why are you trying to foist a can of coke on me now," a cheerful Bob 'Kraut' Kluge announced as he met TT at net at the conclusion of a resounding ( 6-1) thumping of 'Happy Jack' Carey and the downtrodden 'Chemist,' George Hauss. Indeed, Der Klugemeister was in Yonkers for the weekend to see his children and ventured over to Kinsley to get some games in. The Teutonic Pepsi Truck Driver, when pairing with Frank 'Slats' Slattery, had earlier taken out TT/'Chemist (3-6) and felt he owed the 'bloated blowhard' his best effort. It was almost a hat trick for the transplanted 'strudel man' from Evanston Il. who saw his opening set 3-1 lead that he had held (with 'Slats') dissipate against 'HJ'/'Gimpy Knees' Joe Cruz (6-7 [4]) in what was the best set of the day. 'Happy Jack' was indeed jacked-up with great play at crunch time in the first set. 'Chemist' concluded that 'HJ' was jacked-off in their finale against 'Kraut'/TT. As 'HJ' bid farewell to the 'Kraut' he queried, "Mein Herr, doesn't Pepsi market a product called "Pepsi Zero"... shouldn't YOU have to play with Der Chemiker next time?" To wit 'Kraut' responded, "Doesn't matter who I play with: I DELIVER for a living! Right, Titan?!"
