TennisTitan managed to get two sets in at Kinsley on this weather threatened Saturday. Titan paired with the 'Mellow One, Big Daddy' Dave Lipscomb in the opener and was along for the ride in the (6-0) decimation of Bob 'Kraut' Kluge and the "Dozin' Docent,' Rich Gerchak making a rare appearance between the white lines. The 'testy Teuton' succumbed a second time to the 'boorish bloviator' when he paired with Mike 'not so stellar' Stella (6-4) against the tandem of TT/Stuart 'not Espn' Scott. 'Der Klugemeister, entering the set for the departing 'Dave the Rave' at 4-2 down made the set interesting as he rallied several times to thwart set point before 'not Espn' closed it out on his serve. "Tommy boy," 'Kraut' chortled at picture time, "I did not enjoy the first set bagel one bit. Me, not winning even one game against any team having the TennisTitan as a partner is akin to the Pope hearing confession from Khalid Sheikh Mohammad; it doesn't make any sense...it must be a joke."
"Hey Titan, what's with you and St. John's Hospital. First, you recently choose to play with a nurse Lilia who takes care of your non-existent net game, then you bring a hot chick who works there too, to the park that same Saturday who almost had to do the Heimlich on you at TGIF's the other night" crowed Bob 'Kraut' Kluge at the conclusion of play at Kinsley. The 'testy Teuton' and Joe 'Gimpy Knees' Cruz had reason to gloat with their decisive (3-6, 5-7) victories over the TennisTitan and the 'already vacationing' Frank 'Slats' Slattery. 'Today's losses were even more painful than my nearly slicing my knuckle off" whimpered the 'whining wuss' at picture time. "You should'a brought that sweet thing here this afternoon, 'boisterous blowhard,' You had us 5-2 before you 'choked' big time and lost the last five games to lose that second set" smirked 'Gimpy Knees.' "Slats' interjected, any woman seeing the Titan must have a knowledge of CPR - competency, pulchritude, and responsibility. "Game, set, match" beamed the 'egotistical idiot.'
Titan and ten of mates enjoyed ideal tennis weather at Kinsley this date. The 'lumbering libertine' managed to get four sets in, all with different partners against varying opponents - and came away with victories in three sets. Only Clarence the "Gazelle" was able to remove the shine from this lustrous morning of play taking out TT/'Happy Jack' (3-6) with the able assistance of George 'Teacher' Febles.' The 'bombastic blowhard' made sure to leave the ball yard with a final set triumph alongside George 'Chemist' Hauss with a (6-3) defeat of Mike 'not so stellar' Stella and Bob 'Kraut' Kluge. But perhaps the 'pompous prevaricator' took the greatest pleasure with a resounding (6-2) thrashing of 'Dave the Rave' when he paired with a newbie, Rudy 'the flippin' Philippino. TennisTitan was ably assisted in the dismantling by the strong net play of 'lithesome Lilia, Rudy's better half. As 'Dave the Rave' left the field of play he reminded the 'bloated blogger' of their (6-3) opening set victory against 'Big Al' Diodati and Rich 'Prezidente' Prezioso.
"Titan, you put a foursome together quicker than Patsy makes me an omelet for breakfast" crowed Frank 'Slat's Slattery at the conclusion of play this afternoon at Kinsley. "Slats' and TennisTitan had rallied from the heartbreaking (6-7 [3]) defeat in the first set tie breaker to rout 'Big Al' Diodati and Bob 'Kraut' Kluge (6-1). "Bobby, that work shuttle bus you drive is a round trip run, isn't it' inquired the 'bloated blowhard.' "What of it?" responded the 'testy Teuton.' "You must have left the keys in the ignition because the Titan commandeered the vehicle in the second set" continued the 'coddling counselor.' "Bobby, you kept saying 'Titan's got new knees, that's why he's making those fabulous returns' but the real reason is that the 'lying libertine' has got your keys" reminded the 'Italian Stallion.' "He drove the bus in that second set, we were merely passengers without our seat belts" lamented 'Big Al.'
"Go easy on 'em in the blog, Titan. Have you forgotten what it is like to be married,' opined Frank 'Slats' Slattery at the conclusion of play this morning at Kinsley. 'The 'anonymous gas man' had abruptly ended play in the second set, on serve, at (4-3) to meet a 'the curfew.' "Titan, even at Wimbledon there's a curfew at 11' offered the once 'spindly legs' gas man.' "Carl, that's at 11PM, not 11 in the morning" countered 'Slats'." "Slat's you should talk...you've high tailed it out of here many a Saturday because Patsy duty called" commented 'Dave the Rave,' still incredulous that he and the 'anonymous gas man' lost the first set (6-4) to TT/'Slats' after opening a three love lead, as they had done again in set two. "And what's with you and that damn dog. You treat Tully like he's married to you, always catering to him" complained fellow bachelor, 'Dave the Rave.' "Here's the difference my friend: haven't you noticed I hold the leash" "Another ace from the Titan" observed a smiling 'Slats.'
"Titan, I thought having Miguel using his leaf blower might give you more time to rest during the change over," espoused the 'Tutor,' Max Tuchman with a twinkle in his eye. "Max, you've got a fine facility here at The Landing, but I am afraid your best facility today was your play at the net, as well as breaking TennisTitan's balls with your comments" contributed TT's erstwhile partner, Frank 'Slats' Slattery. "What? you mean the 'babbling bloviator' doesn't like a dose of his own medicine," countered our host who barely broke a sweat in the (0-6, 3-6) decimation of the long time Kinsley duo. "Face it Titan, you were blown off the court. Take your buddy, "Slats,' out for his much deserved retirement luncheon but make sure you two discuss 'when to retire' on the court when you are so far over matched" zinged Bill 'Energizer Bunny Legs' Tully who always had it in reserve, enabling him to out last the 'coddling counselor' in the many lengthy points played. "Bill, do you think I should bring my rocking chair the next time we decide to entertain our guests," opined 'Tutor' as he closed the gate at the scenic court abutting the Hudson River in Dobbs Ferry.
"Slat's, that was a clean sweep for me" crowed the 'boisterous blowhard' after his (6-2) victory with Frank Slattery over George 'Chemist" Hauss and 'Happy Jack' Carey. This following impressive earlier victories with Sab 'Koide Kid' (6-1) and Gero the 'young phenom' (6-3). Carl the 'anonymous gas man' reminded the 'obnoxious oaf' at picture time, "Titan, you can't always cherry pick your opponents. Today the luck of the draw provided you with a hand of 'three sixes.' 'Super Geriatric Bob and 'Happy Jack' were my albatrosses today." 'Slats' quipped, "On Tuesday we're up against 'EBL'/'Tutor at the Landings in Dobbs. That's when we'll see what you do when you'll really be put to the test."
"Hell, Frankie, he was a super nova tonight" a bedazzled TennisTitan offered at the conclusion of play. The 'pompous panderer' and Frank 'Slats' Slattery had just dropped the final set to George 'Chemist' Hauss and Mike 'not so stellar' Stella (3-6). The story of this evening's play was not the usual consistency of the 'Chemist,' 'Slats,' and your erstwhile reporter, but rather of the emergence of a 'Stellar Stella' performing light years beyond what he had previously displayed at Kinsley. Mike was a factor in all four corners on his side of the net. TT/'Slats' played to their capabilities, managing to capture the second set (7-5) after dropping the opener (4-6). But 'Chemist'/'Stellar' played the critical points in all three sets magnificently, whether in exchanges from the baseline, handling approach shots, or fending off lobs that might have tipped the balance to the 'bombastic blowhard' and the 'coddling counselor.' As the foursome left the court 'not so Stella' was heard to remark to a smiling 'Chemist,' Do you think Titan will refer to me as the 'amazing asteroid' in blog?" "Nah", retorted the 'Chemist,' he's more likely to refer to you as the 'careening comet,' here today, gone tomorrow."
"Titan, the world was your oyster today" beamed Frank 'Slats' Slattery at the conclusion of play at Kinsley this morning. TennisTitan/'Slats' teamed for a four set sweep. Gero 'young phenom'/Carl the 'anonymous gas man' fell meekly (6-1), followed by dual drubbings to the tandem of Rich 'El Prezidente' Prezioso/'Rockin' Rick Ricci (6-2, 6-2). George 'Chemist' Hauss/'RRR' succumbed (6-3) sending the 'boastful bullshitter' home with that annoying smug grin on his face. 'Slats' asked the 'pompous prevaricator' at picture time, "Titan do you feel redeemed, coming after that abominable performance you displayed last Wednesday?" "Don't be silly, Frankie, I don't feel redeemed because my game was not resurrected from the dead. It was only in limbo." "But this was the third day since you suffered your cross of having had 'El Prezidente' as your partner on Wednesday;" commented the 'coddling counselor.' "Slats' answered the 'bombastic blogger,' Prezie is heading out to the Hamptons this week for the summer. I wanted him to taste the bitter herb of multiple losses to me before he departs. He'll have a hell of a ride." "And 'Rockin' Rick, with his three losses to you?" queried 'Slats.' "Temporal punishment for sure" replied Titan.
"Prezie, you were God-awful. There is no other way to describe it" lamented the 'NMF' kid. It's "Never My Fault" continued his litany of lies. "Your best asset is your speed, actually it's your only asset and you must have left it in Briarcliff." 'El Prezidente' Rich Prezioso rejoined, "you should work for Obama, 'lothesome lard ass.' You put more spin on your own ineptitude than that 'incompetent incumbent' does when he says one thing and blatantly does the opposite." TT/'Prezidente' weren't competitive at Kinsley in their (2-6, 1-6) thrashing at the hands of 'Big Al' Diodati and Frank 'Slats' Slattery. After a spit of the first four games of the first set the 'dumb founded duo' managed to win only one of the next eleven games. Titan over hit with regularity and the 'maven of Briarcliff Manor' damned near framed every return off his racket. 'El Prezidente' meekly offered "at least I brought new balls, Titan." 'Slats' interjected, "Prez, better that you bring a new game on Saturday. And try getting your feet in position to hit the ball squarely."
Playing tennis on any day would make the TennisTitan happy, getting a few sets in on Father's Day made him damn euphoric! Titan and nephew Rob 'Jersey Bomber' Briscoe hooked up for two post barbecue sets at Brookdale Community College in Monmouth County N.J. Both combatants came away somewhat satisfied by splitting the action (4-6, 6-3). The 'Jersey Bomber' lived up to his appellation demonstrating strong, if occasionally erratic, serving power. Titan's return of serve is what kept the match competitive. 'JB' swept the final three games of the opener to capture that win but stumbled badly in the second set and could not pull off another late charge. At picture time a midst the yelps from Titan's 'barking bichon' the 'Jersey Bomber' reminded TT in his best Marlon Brando voice, "Godfather, sometime I will ask a favor of you - and it will not involve tennis - but require you to muzzle that dog."
Titan had a mixed bag of results this day at Kinsley. Paired with 'Slats' in the opener the tandem continued their recent good fortune with a resounding (6-3) defeat of the George 'Chemist' Hauss and Rich 'El Prezidente' Prezioso. Set two had TT pair with Rockin' Rick Ricci in a (3-6) loss to Bob 'Kraut' Kluge and Stuart 'not ESPN' Scott. 'Not ESPN' was the difference maker with a crisp backhand on target and strong net play.'TT'/'RRR' closed out the day (1-6) against Dave 'the Mellon One' Lipscomb and Chris 'Mr. Singles.' The latter pair refused to have their picture taken by Titan maintaining that 'two Black players of their stature' could get arrested in Yonkers for 'beating up a pair of old white guys in a public park." 'Not ESPN' added, "I guess today was just a Black Power Day."
"George, you could have had the whole British army behind you today, and it wouldn't have made a damn bit of difference" boasted the 'bellicose bullshitter." TennisTitan and partner Frank 'Slats' Slattery has just seen the whites of the eyes of the 'Chemist,' George Hauss and the 'Teacher,' George Febles and come away with a brace of doubles victories (6-4, 6-4) at Kinsley Park this late afternoon. 'Slats' opined at picture time "maybe next week they should bring a third George, you know, Titan, George III. They need a King to reign in their errant ground strokes and misdirected volleys." Indeed, the tandem of TT/'Slats' stood tall withstanding the four games to three lead held by the Georges in both sets only to break the duo in the critical ninth games to fashion both their triumphs. "Slats, these guys are so wooden on the court against us they remind me of King George III furniture, stiff and uncomfortable, under pressure. To wit, the 'Teacher' exclaimed, "Alright, Mr. Tighten, next week, our third George will be one George Washington. He knows how to lead an underdog to victory."
"Rock, this was my triple crown" crowed the 'cacophonous curmudgeon' at the conclusion of play at Kinsley this Saturday morning. "Maybe I'll Have Another won't be able to compete at Belmont this afternoon to capture the Triple Crown of horse racing, but this old nag grabbed three consecutive doubles victories today. Titan paired with Rich 'dozin' docent' Gerchak in the opener (6-2) against 'Happy Jack' Carey and Mike 'not so stellar' Stella. Set 2 saw the 'pusillanimous prevaricator' hook up with a newbie, Gero 'young phenom' Eaton for a (6-4) defeat of the same twosome. TennisTitan completed his trifecta sweep with "Rockin Rick Ricci at his side (6-3) as the old codgers schooled the 'young phenom'/'not so stellar. Titan's joy was more than offset at picture time by 'not so stellar's observation, "I think I've had too much here already. I am going home and have some Triple Crown too - the kind that comes in a brown bottle to forget my 3 losses to the 'boisterous blowhard."
"Titan, have you got a thing for Al Pacino?" queried George 'Chemist' Hauss at the conclusion of play at Kinsley. Titan had put a game together that also involved stalwarts George 'Teacher' Febles and Frank 'Slats' Slattery to celebrate his recent return to Yonkers after a month long stint in Florida, sans tennis. The late afternoon match did not start well for the twosome of TT/'Slats' who were riddled by the invigorated serve of the 'Chemist' and the timely lobs of the 'Teacher,' ever exposing Titan's leaden feet in the (2-6) opening set loss. 'Slats' laid into the 'bloated behemoth' at the start of the second set promising to keep Titan on a short leash away from the net, and to clean up the mess he was making at the baseline. "Don't tell me you're pooped. I can see you're playing like shit" excoriated 'Slats.' "But Frankie, the 'Chemist' intimidates me now that he plays USTA. He even wins singles against shlubs like us." "You're USTA too, Titan" reminded the 'Teacher.' An Utterly, Stupid, Talkative Asshole whose only worth is organizing games for the guys. "Hey George, you better check the blog tomorrow. "Titan did his part in our (6-2, 6-4) victories in sets two and three" countered the 'coddling counselor.' "Dog shit, er, Bull shit, it was that Tully who never stopped yapping on the sideline who carried the day for them" interjected the 'Teacher.' "Chemist,' I said that we'd play on Wednesday, June 6, D-Day, the 68th anniversary of a great moment in American history, an event that makes America an exceptional nation. I want all my readers to realize that that incompetent in the White House, who so many foolishly voted for, did not even recognize it today, preferring to have his hand out in fund raisers. Tully is here because it is a "Dog Day Afternoon" but we are here because of the sacrifices of our fathers and grand fathers who stormed Omaha Beach that June 6, 1944.
