TennisTitan continued his dominance against recent opponents Frank 'Slats' Slattery and George 'Teacher' Febles this morning at Kinsley. TT paired with Carl 'Speedy Legs' Gessman for three sets of doubles. First up was 'Teacher' and 'Happy Jack' Carey who succumbed meekly at (6-2). Even more satisfying to the 'pedantic prevaricator' was the (6-3, 6-4) defeats administered to 'Slats' and 'Dave the Rave.' 'Slats'/'Rave' were still smarting from their loss to George 'Chemist' Hauss and 'Big Al' Diodati (6-2) when they were relegated to the challenger's court to face the 'bloated behemoth' and the sometimes gasless Gessman. 'Speedy Legs' did just enough to get the tandem to victory with his all court coverage and potent serve. As the crew met at net for their post match photo op the 'Rave' opined, "Titan, no pictures of me today. I only want them taken after I win a set." 'Speedy Legs' observed, "then you better pick your partners more thoughtfully." To wit the Yonkers High Guidance Counselor remarked, "And Carl, playing next to the Titan, thought is not required - just ear plugs and incredible stamina."
"Titan, mi amigo, I didn't realize that you invited me to the Alamo" cried Ignacio Febles, Aka, George the 'Teacher' at the end of play this date. 'Teacher' along with Frank 'Slats' Slattery, Gene 'King' Slattery, and your humble 'blogging bullshitter' had just completed three hours of doubles play at Amackassin Tennis Club this date. Save for one set, the (0-6) bagel TennisTitan would love to forget 'Teacher' and 'Titan' played opposite of each other. TT/'Slats' mastered the tandem of 'King'/'Teacher' (6-2, 6-2) in the first two of the five sets played. Set three saw the Titan lead 'King' Gene to his first victory of the day (6-3) as 'Slats' came to realize who really does the heavy lifting when he teams with TennisTitan! The cousins Slattery blew the doors off the 'immobile minotaur'/'profesor' Febles in the fourth set. 'Slats' couldn't resist challenging the 'egomanical egotist' to a fifth and final set demanding that the 'bloated blowhard' live up to his oft heard cry, "It's all about heart in the final set." In the best set of the day, TT/'King Gene' prevailed against 'Slats'/'Teacher (7-6 [5]) to bring the combatants to net for picture time. 'King' Gene expressed admiration for TT's withstanding the rigors of 5 sets. 'Slats' retorted to 'Teacher's Alamo comment most memorably. "Titan, it really HERTZ losing to you. DOLLAR for dollar you are so THRIFTY with how you expend your energy on the court. You show ENTERPRISE with your shot selection. Your blog, if not your game, is a NATIONAL treasure to behold." To wit, 'Teacher' quipped, "Yeah, but his BUDGET doesn't include purchasing any tennis balls! 'King' smiled and said, "but he does try harder - because he's always number two."
"Titan, his favorite American movie must have been "From Russia With Love" quipped Max 'Tutor' Tuchman at the end of today's play at the Yonkers Tennis Center. 'Tutor'/TT had just completed an improbable comeback in their second set against Vladimir 'Russkie' Kartsev and Bill 'Energized Bunny Legs' Tully to steal a seemingly lost set (6-4) in which they were down love-three with no prospects of winning on the merit of their play. TT/'Tutor' were barely competitive in their (2-6) opening set loss. Max was already telling his 'pedantic partner' between games "Titan, don't worry I will remember to atone for today's poor play at schul in two weeks!" Who knew that the 'Energizer Bunny' battery would run down one hour into the match? Who would have suspected that 'Russkie's respectable serve would go awry midway through the final set as he gifted the 'Tutor' four double faults in two crucial service games. As the boys met at net following the (1-2 partial) third set Tully proclaimed, "Titan, 'You Only Live Twice', was a Bond classic you lived out this day. TennisTitan replied, "Bill, it certainly wasn't my 'Thunderball' of a serve that won it for us today." Vladimir retorted in his thick Russian accent as to how his game suddenly fell apart, 'Go figure...' Max chortled, "Yeah, 'Goldfinger' was my favorite!'"
"Titan, in my country of Ecuador, they call me the 'Mosquito from Quito" quipped Pappi at the end of his set with TennisTitan at Kinsley this afternoon. The Mosquito/TT trailed Vladimir 'Russkie' Kartsev/John 'Neck' Manzi love-three before the 'boisterous blowhard' got his game in gear. Thirty minutes later the talented tandem closed out their rousing (6-4) comeback victory against a bewildered 'Neck' and the befuddled Russian immigrant. For the second set your 'bloated bloviator' was joined by Bill 'Electro Lux' Ching against the split tandem of 'Neck' Manzi (4 games) -Joe 'Gimpy Knees' Cruz (6 games) pairing with 'Russkie.' Titan served it out at (6-4) sending the 'egomanical egotist' home ecstatic. As the boys met at net for their post match pictures 'Electro Lux' opined, "Titan, maybe you should have played a third set today. It would have been great to see if you could have won with the 'Neck' as you partner. To wit Titan fired his fourth ace of the day, "Bill, that's a stretch, even I couldn't make."
"It was a perfect day for tennis at Kinsley except for the outcome" winced the TennisTitan at the conclusion of his three sets this date. The 'bombastic blowhard' joined ten fellow hackers on the last day of summer under cloudless skies with the temperatures in the mid 60's - just like the players ages! TT paired with Frank 'Slats' Slattery for the two sets (5-7, 6-4) against Joe 'Gimpy Knees' Cruz and a newbie, 'Dave the Rave.' Neither TT nor 'Slats' distinguished themselves in this pairing as they failed to capitalize on 'the Rave's' lack of court discipline and 'GK' leg weariness in the first set which was within their grasp at five all. 'Slats' departing comment cut his conservative crony to the quick: "That's another reason I am considering voting for Obama. He's got no more experience than the 'Rave' and look what he did!" Stuart 'Not Espn' Scott filled in as Titan's partner in a third set that was played against George 'Chemist' Hauss and another Caribbean import, Andre 'Poppa Doc' Perpignan. Andre proved more than capable of humbling your 'bumbling bloviator' (3-6) with pop on his serve and crisp ground strokes. As the boys met at net 'Not Espn' commented, "Andre, continue playing like that and we'll get you on Sports Center." 'Poppa Doc' chortled, "Titan, I'm from Haiti - you break it down - hate Tt. Do you get it now? To you, I am 'Andre the Giant Killer.'
"Titan, it's not he who laughs first, but rather he who laughs last" sighed a happy Bill 'Energizer Bunny Legs' Tully at the end of play this date at the Yonkers Tennis Center. 'EBL' and 'Big Al' DioDati had managed to come back strong (1-6) in the second set against the tandem of TennisTitan and Max 'Tutor' Tuckman to gain a split in the afternoon's activities. The 'bloated behemoth' and the maven of mayhem from Dobbs Ferry out lasted 'EBL'/'Big Al' in the opener (6-4) in an especially competitive and satisfying set for the 'Yonkers Yapper.' TT/'Tutor' had seen their three-love lead wither away to a four all tie when Titan summoned the best elements of his game to hold serve in the ninth game and then break 'Big Al' to grab his first ever victory against 'EBL.' As the boys met at net 'Tutor' quipped, "Bill, I thought you were dogging it a little bit in that first set, just not covering as much ground as you usually do at the baseline." The 'boisterous blowhard' chortled, "Max, don't you know that when the Titan dogs it, in my house we say "we are Dilly-Tullying!"
"Please Titan, I have my 'A' game with me this morning, pair with me'' pleaded the recalcitrant Carl 'Speedy Legs' Gessman as the 'bloated blowhard' arrived at Kinsley this date. And so it was. TennisTitan and 'Speedy Legs' went up against Bob 'Kraut' Kluge and George 'Teacher' Febles in the first of TT's two very competitive sets. Unlike his dismal performances of the recent past 'SL' was the dominant player among the foursome matching the fierce returns of the 'Teutonic Bomber' stroke for stroke to carry the day (6-4). The 'bombastic bloviator' held up his end of the bargain by containing the defensive prowess of the 'Teacher' with exquisite serves to the backhand and thunderous groundies down the middle that had "El Profesor" searching for his Spanish to English thesaurus by sets end. To Titan's dismay 'Speedy Legs' made a hasty exit after the victory. TT adopted the 'Portuguese Pup,' Pedro Monteiro as his partner for the ensuing battle on the champions court. 'PP' was no match for the skill put forth by Lou 'Pistol' Gerencser and Joe 'Gimpy Knees' Cruz. Titan's strong performance went for naught as the Iberian Neophyte doubled faulted eight times during the (4-6) set and couldn't keep 50% of his returns within the court. As the group met at net Pistol' opined, "Titan, 'Gimpy Knees' and I had our game on this morning. We won our first two sets against George 'Chemist' Hauss and 'Happy Jack' Carey even easier than with the gift giving done by the Pup in the finale. When I put the pistol away today, I'll only make half a notch for you."
TennisTitan returned to the Yonkers Tennis Center this date to mark his return to the indoor season. He joined two of his regular Kinsley mates - Joe 'Gimpy Knees' Cruz and 'Big Al' DioDati - and Max 'Tutor' Tuchman, major domo on the Thursday Indoor game. Titan paired with 'Tutor' for two competitive sets (6-3, 3-6 [3-2 partial). The 'bombastic blowhard' brought his 'A' game which featured effective baseline ground strokes interspersed with several lasers down the doubles alley that had 'GK'/'Big Al' doing turnstiles. 'Tutor' contributed key volleys at net and some impressive half-volleys from the baseline before tiring in the second set. As the teams met at net 'Tutor' expounded, "Titan today is my birthday and playing along side of you is the icing on my cake." 'Big Al' quipped, "You claim to be 72 years of age, Max. You must be thrilled to know that a man six years your senior can dominate you as I did today." 'Gimpy Knees' remarked, "I can't wait until I am in my seventies too, then my serve can be as big as your egos too."
TennisTitan joined five of his mates this date to get some doubles in at Kinsley prior to the arrival of tropical storm Hanna. "We came to hear your wind bag mouth and maybe rain on your prideful parade before contending with the storm" rankled Stuart 'Not Espn' Scott as he warmed up with Carl 'Speedy Legs' Gessman on the challenger's court. Titan and George 'Chemist' Hauss had paired for the mornings activities and were in the process of dispatching the tandem of 'Happy Jack' Carey and Joe 'Gimpy Knees' Cruz (6-4) in the first of their three sets played. "I guess my bluster was good enough" reprised the "bloated behemoth" forty minutes later as he and the 'Bunsen burner' man celebrated their second (6-4) victory. In the finale TT/'Chemist' ambled to a resounding (6-2) thumping of an over matched 'HJ'/'Not Espn' that even had phlegmatic 'Chemist' quip, "We all know that Titan has problems with his legs, but who knew his arms are double jointed! How else could he adeptly pat himself on the back while simultaneously hitting his shot with the other hand!!!"
"You better tell Donna to look under the bed for it then" the infuriated 'egomanical egotist' yelled to a departing Carl 'Speedy Legs' Gessman as he sheepishly retreated to his car. Titan had paired with the peripatetic graphic artist in his first two sets at Kinsley this date and suffered two disappointing defeats. Up 4-2 to Lou 'Pistol' Gerencser and George 'Chemist' Hauss 'Speedy Legs' was no where to be found as the 'boisterous blowhard'/'SL' dropped the final four games (4-6) in a stunning turnaround. Banished to the challenger's court the tandem continued their listless play losing (4-6) to 'Happy Jack' Carey and George 'Teacher' Febles that set up verbal confrontation between the 'bearded buffoon' and the exiting 'balding blatherer.' "You forgot to bring your 'A' game this morning, you left it at home" bellowed the 'bloated behemoth' to his unremorseful ("I just didn't have it") partner. 'Happy Jack' came between the two sparring partners, reminding Titan "Take it easy big guy. It's all in Carl's name. He's really 'Spindly Legs,' not 'Speedy Legs' that he begged you to tag him with. And remember his last name is not really Gessman. It's "Out of Gas Man." Relieved of his angst the 'immobile minotaur' paired with Joe 'Gimpy Knees' Cruz for two additional sets and was fully rewarded for his persistence and continued high level of play with a (6-1) thrashing of 'Happy Jack'/'Teacher' and an impressive (6-2) thumping of 'Chemist' pairing with Chris 'Prosac Kid' to complete the day's play.
"Titan, I think your dog ate the bagel" groaned Vladimir 'Russkie' Kartsev at the conclusion of play at Kinsley this date. 'Russkie'/TT had paired for three sets against the tandems of 'Happy Jack' Carey (first set), and then Lou 'Pistol' Gerencser with 'Big Al' Dio Dati. As always, Titan's fortunes are tied with the ephemeral performance of his net partner. 'Russkie' could not find the mark initially and the 'bloated behemoth' anguished at 1-3 down in the first set. (Can you see, "the look" Titan reserves for under performing partners as you read, 'Slats')? It made the (6-4) triumph over 'HJ'/'Big Al' that much sweeter as TT's consistency was inexplicably matched by the 'White Russian' as the set progressed. Indeed, the 'Caucasian of the Caucus' exceeded expectations in set two as 'Russkie' led the charged to the (sic) 'booblick' (6-0). Set three saw 'Russkie's game leave more quickly than he fled the broken Soviet empire in '92. Finally, 'Pistol' found the range, 'Big Al' supplying bullets instead of blanks, as they worked over the 'immobile minotaur' and 'erratic immigrant' in the (3-6) finale. As the teams met at net 'Russkie' opined, "Titan, I hope you enjoyed the bagel while it lasted. Me, I prefer a shot of Stoli when I get home to forget about you!"
"Titan, you must have been a short order cook as a kid" quipped 'Happy Jack' Carey at the post match barbecue hosted by 'Big A'l DioDati. Indeed, the 'boisterous blowhard' and George 'Chemist' Hauss were hamming it up to all who would listen about serving up a bagel to 'Rockin' Rick Ricci and Chris the Prosac Kid (6-0) in the second set played this morning at Kinsley as the 'overblown oaf'' devoured his third hamburger. Titan had earlier saved Frank 'Slats' Slattery's bacon in the first set when the 'pedantic prevaricator' held fast on the critical points in the tie breaker (7-6 [3]) to give 'Slats' some bragging rights in the victory over 'HJ' and Joe 'Gimpy Knees' Cruz. 'Gimpy Knees'/HJ had split their first two sets with 'Slats'/'Big Al'. "Titan, you'd had egg on your face had you lost that final set to us" retorted a grumpy 'Gimpy Knees' as he poured himself a Cervesa. "Lettuce" enjoy our victory chortled the 'Chemist.' Titan and I sliced and diced 'RRR'/'Prosac Kid' like a tomato in that final set shutout." 'Slats' punctuated the banter perfectly by stating unequivocally to Titan, "I relish playing wih this hot dog. He's my therapy on Saturday mornings." Lou 'Pistol' Gerencser remarked, "Titan's got rye humor, but he's toast against me. Now 'Prosac Kid' - he's got onions" as Chris took a dip in 'Big Al's pool
Titan stopped by Kinsley to return the racket that he had borrowed from 'Happy Jack' last Saturday. Problem was: no Happy Jack at Kinsley. So TT completed the foursome of 'Big Al' DioDati, Vladimir 'Russkie' Kartsev and Joe 'Gimpy Knees' Cruz. The 'bloated behemoth' paired with 'Big Al' in his only set, a (3-6) loss to 'Russkie'/'GK.' That magic that was in Titan's wand yesterday morning was no where to be found. Indeed, the 'cryptic cripple' played a very unremarkable set, not being able to hold serve or offer adequate support to 'Big Al' at critical times in the match. The highlight of the 'blogging bullshitter's afternoon was when a tardy 'HJ' showed to take over the reins for the second set. As the 'bombastic blowhard' exited the courts, 'Big Al' snickered, "I knew yesterday was a fluke. Titan, the day you play well with me, is the day I'll retire, and become a tennis junkie like you." 'Russkie' had the last laugh as he inveighed Titan with, "Comrade, instead of telling me to 'stay out of Georgia,' someone should tell you to 'stay out of Kinsley.'
"Titan, how come you never play that good with me" lamented 'Big Al' DioDati at the end of his two hour clinic at the hands of the 'bombastic bloviator.' The 'pedantic prevaricator' paired for the first two of the three sets played at Kinsley with Frank 'Slats' Slattery against 'Big Al' and Lou 'Pistol' Gerencser and then with 'Pistol' in the third set against 'Big Al' and 'Slats.' It mattered not who TT's partner was this morning, Titan was on top of his game from start to finish. The 'sultan of swat'/'Slats' served the breakfast bagel (6-0) in the opener and continued their mastery (6-4) in the more competitive second set. TT controlled the alley from the backhand side and managed a few crisp volleys in a dominating performance. The 'boisterous blowhard' bellowed to all who could hear within 300 yards of the court, "This is why I play the ad-side" while his incredulous partner smirked in awe. Titan backed up his already sterling performance in the third set when he put fresh caps in the 'Pistol' to lift Lou's play in an equally impressive (6-1) rout of a befuddled 'Slats' and a beleaguered 'Big Al.' As the boys met at net 'Big Al' continued to taunt the 'immobile minotaur' with "Titan, you were so usually hot today that if you play like that on Saturday morning, you can expect the hamburgers and hot dogs served at my afternoon barbecue to be coming off your racket!"
TennisTitan joined seven of his mates for some lively doubles play this morning at Kinsley. Being the last to arrive TT (with his dog and without his racket) was relegated to the challenger court wherein he teamed with Lou 'Pistol' Gerenscer in the first of his three sets. TT/'Pistol' drew 'Happy Jack' Carey and Joe 'Gimpy Knees' Cruz in their opening set (6-2) victory. 'HJ'/'GK' relished their 2 game victory having been bageled by Frank 'Slats' Slattery and George 'Teacher' Febles in the first set played today. 'Pistol'/TT rolled to a similarly easy victory in set two when they defeated the 'Slats'/'Teacher' combo by the same (6-2) score. The balloon burst for the 'bloated behemoth' and 'Cap Gun' Lou in the third set as a revivified 'Slats' pairing with 'Rockin' Rick Ricci administered a (1-6) thrashing to the 'Tired Tortoise' and his 'empty chamber' partner! As the boys met at net and agreed to a 9 AM rematch Monday, 'Slats' quipped, "Titan, Lou' had enough of your barking on the court. You'll be my partner. So don't dog it! And if you DO bring Tully again, use the muzzle on yourself!"
TennisTitan joined eleven of his fellow mates for three sets of fun tennis this morning at Kinsley Park in ideal conditions. TT drew Bob 'Kraut' Kluge as his partner for the first of his two sets (6-3, 6-3) played aginst 'Rockin' Rick Ricci and George 'Teacher' Feebles. Der Klugemeister powerful groundies dominated for the most part and the 'boisterous blowhard' did his part to prolong points long enough until the 'Panzer' pasted a forehand winner. In TT's finale the 'egotistical egomaniac' paired with Lou 'Pistol' Gerencser in a (6-2) thrashing of 'RRR' and Chris 'The Prosac Kid.' As the teams met at net a chastened Carl 'Speedy Legs' Gessman remarked "Titan, Stuart 'Not Espn' Scott and I defeated Frank 'Slats' Slattery and the 'Pistol' (7-5)." 'Slats' opined, "Yeah, but before that the 'Pistol' and I took out 'Speedy Leg's and 'Not Espn' (6-2) and Joe 'Gimpy Knees' Cruz and 'Big Al' DioDati (6-4) and 'RRR'/'Teacher' (6-4). 'Pistol' brought a smile to the thrice defeated tandem of 'RRR'/'Teacher' by remarking, "Winning that last set with the 'pedantic prevaricator' as my partner is my personal tennis highlight of the morning. Playing with 'Slats' is good doubles practice, but playing with Titan at your side, you get a good singles workout! In fact he's like mother's Hungarian Goulash - plenty of lard, very little meat to sustain you, with plenty of onions and garlic so you don't mind the grizzle and a dash of paprika for color."
"Titan, I am an author by trade, not a tennis player. What's your excuse for your poor play?" harrumphed an exasperated Vladimir 'Russkie' Kartsev at the end of his ordeal playing two sets along side the 'bombastic bloviator.' Titan was taunting the Russian expatriate that he was toying with the idea of "Ivan the TERRIBLE" as this blog's topic until 'Russkie' redeemed himself with some improved play in TT/'Russkie' hard fought second set loss (5-7) to Joe 'Gimpy Knees' Cruz and Lou 'Pistol "Gerenscer this afternoon at Kinsley. I do not consider myself in the class of a Pasternak, Chekhov or Solzhenitsyn but I have written a successful book about contemporary Russian politics that has been widely hailed. Have you ever heard of Vladimir Zhirinovski, a democratic Russian reformer in the 1990's?" "I want you to play like Andre Chesnikov or Mikhail Youzhny" whined the 'wounded wimp'! After the way you played in our (4-6) defeat at the hands of 'Big Al' DioDati and 'Happy Jack' Carey in the opening set, I was thinking of you more as Nikolay Davydenko who has been fined for tanking matches and betting on his opponents!
