'Big Al' DioDati glumly turned to his partner Bill 'Energizer Bunny Legs ' Tully and murmurred almost inaudibly, "Titan is truly 'capo di tutti capi.' Indeed, the 'bloated behemoth' was 'the boss' this date at the Yonkers Tennis Club as he and 'King' Gene Slattery presided over the execution of their opponents as surely as Don Corleone had. In an outstanding 100 minutes of on-court action TT/'King' defeated 'Big Al'/'EBL' (6-4, 6-3) in the two sets played to completion. A hobbled 'King' mirroring the foot-speed of the 'egomaniacal egotist' throughout the contest could only agree at picture taking time. Titan had exploded with pop on his serve at crucial times and made 'digs' at net that had Tully exclaim 'you should work at Gate of Heaven, Titan!' The 'bombastic blowhard' retorted, 'EBL, now you come to me and you say "TennisTitan, give me justice." But you don't ask with respect. You don't offer friendship. You don't even think to call me Godfather. Instead, you come onto my tennis court on the day that I dominate the action and you reject me as your partner for a third set." 'King' intervened before blows were thrown. "Titan, remember what happened to Santino and Fredo - we have a third set to play" (2-5 partial). 'Big Al' quipped, "Titan, maybe you'd be better off to 'leave the racquet and eat the canoli' the next time we play!'
"Titan, you've been away three weeks - and your game looked it!" howled Bob 'Kraut' Kluge at the 'bloated behemoth' upon completion of the fourth set played this morning at a windy Kinsley Park. Der Klugemeister had victimized the 'immobile minotaur' in the first three sets, pairing with George 'Chemist' Hauss for two and then with Lou 'Pistol' Gerencser for the final two. "Jah, this is mein Octoberfest!" cackled the 'arrogant Aryan' who dominated from the baseline (3-6, 5-7, 3-6) in his three victories. When the combatants met at net a contrite 'Pistol' opined, "Titan, I played so miserably with you in those first two sets against the 'Teutonic duo, I almost felt bad for you in that final set when you went from 5-1 up to 5-4." Joe 'Gimpy Knees' Cruz snickered, "After losing that third set with TT, I won that last set (6-4) for Titan to save his life. If Isaiah Thomas, making twenty million a year from the Knicks for doing nothing, takes 1o sleeping pills and blames his daughter, I was afraid the 'boisterous blowhard' who does nothin' on the court would go home, take 20 laxatives - he played like shit - and blame his dog!"
TennisTitan continued his dominance against recent opponents Frank 'Slats' Slattery and George 'Teacher' Febles this morning at Kinsley. TT paired with Carl 'Speedy Legs' Gessman for three sets of doubles. First up was 'Teacher' and 'Happy Jack' Carey who succumbed meekly at (6-2). Even more satisfying to the 'pedantic prevaricator' was the (6-3, 6-4) defeats administered to 'Slats' and 'Dave the Rave.' 'Slats'/'Rave' were still smarting from their loss to George 'Chemist' Hauss and 'Big Al' Diodati (6-2) when they were relegated to the challenger's court to face the 'bloated behemoth' and the sometimes gasless Gessman. 'Speedy Legs' did just enough to get the tandem to victory with his all court coverage and potent serve. As the crew met at net for their post match photo op the 'Rave' opined, "Titan, no pictures of me today. I only want them taken after I win a set." 'Speedy Legs' observed, "then you better pick your partners more thoughtfully." To wit the Yonkers High Guidance Counselor remarked, "And Carl, playing next to the Titan, thought is not required - just ear plugs and incredible stamina."
"Titan, mi amigo, I didn't realize that you invited me to the Alamo" cried Ignacio Febles, Aka, George the 'Teacher' at the end of play this date. 'Teacher' along with Frank 'Slats' Slattery, Gene 'King' Slattery, and your humble 'blogging bullshitter' had just completed three hours of doubles play at Amackassin Tennis Club this date. Save for one set, the (0-6) bagel TennisTitan would love to forget 'Teacher' and 'Titan' played opposite of each other. TT/'Slats' mastered the tandem of 'King'/'Teacher' (6-2, 6-2) in the first two of the five sets played. Set three saw the Titan lead 'King' Gene to his first victory of the day (6-3) as 'Slats' came to realize who really does the heavy lifting when he teams with TennisTitan! The cousins Slattery blew the doors off the 'immobile minotaur'/'profesor' Febles in the fourth set. 'Slats' couldn't resist challenging the 'egomanical egotist' to a fifth and final set demanding that the 'bloated blowhard' live up to his oft heard cry, "It's all about heart in the final set." In the best set of the day, TT/'King Gene' prevailed against 'Slats'/'Teacher (7-6 [5]) to bring the combatants to net for picture time. 'King' Gene expressed admiration for TT's withstanding the rigors of 5 sets. 'Slats' retorted to 'Teacher's Alamo comment most memorably. "Titan, it really HERTZ losing to you. DOLLAR for dollar you are so THRIFTY with how you expend your energy on the court. You show ENTERPRISE with your shot selection. Your blog, if not your game, is a NATIONAL treasure to behold." To wit, 'Teacher' quipped, "Yeah, but his BUDGET doesn't include purchasing any tennis balls! 'King' smiled and said, "but he does try harder - because he's always number two."
